So.

So. My kids are playing outside in massive leave piles...probably barefoot...in the cold. But they are having fun so who am I to stop the hoopla. Albeit we had a break for a leaf stuck in Lily's throat, par for the course I suppose.

So. I've wanted to write a book for a long time. And I've thought that I actually would write a book for a long time. But now, well, now I think I really am going to write a book.

So. So I have really been pondering it over and over the past few weeks. I started said book quite some time ago, wrote my first paragraph and thought I was really on a roll. Then it sat. And sat. And sat. Until a few weeks ago, I picked it up and continued. I have about a chapter done. I know, I know, a chapter and I'm already thinking I'm serious about this! So. I actually contacted a particular publishing company that I'm quite fond of, sent an e-mail and got a general response back. I figured that was the end of it, phew, no phone conversation. Email is easy! No questions to worry about having the right answers for, no need to come up with money right now, no worries right! Until he called me. Ooops.

I let it go to voicemail as I had a feeling it might be the Publishing company and I wasn't ready! What would I say? I have ONE chapter people! What's wrong with me, why did I even look into it? So much goes into the process, time, funds, etc., and I'm nowhere near starting...so why? Why. Because I felt like God wanted me to. So.

So after I did not answer the phone, I began to talk myself out of the entire thing. I am too scared to do it. Too afraid of the journey.

So I got to where I was heading, the church, I went and sat in the office, opened up my laptop as I was about to do some paperwork. But in typical Jen fashion, figured I'd peruse Twitter for a moment, cuz that's what you do when you have a quick internet connection right?

So someone had posted a link to one of my favorite blogs and it caught my attention. It was a post on the "Living Proof Live" blog called "To new writers, with love," that nearly floored me, and had I not been floating in a Grande Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte I probably would have landed on the floor.

So perhaps you won't take time to read it, although I highly recommend you do. But I could not believe that my favorite Author just happened to pen that blog post at the exact time I was talking myself out of the very thing she posted about.

Forgive the cheeziness of this line but "it was too odd not to be God."

So I waited nearly the whole day, but I finally called the Publisher back. We talked about the details, since I have zero experience in the whole thing. No pressure, gave me lots of advice. I'm not sure where I go from here, in that I still have to obviously write the book & work through the submission process. But I feel like something was conquered that day. The fear of the journey. It scared me to think of writing a book. It will share so much of my life so I feared I would say too much, or not say enough. Would people understand my heart? Would anyone even read it? Am I honoring God? So many questions.

So this really hit me:

"Perfectionism will snuff the flame. Period. Give it up. It’s cheating us out of hearing your genuine voice. These are a few reasons why we may never read books by some of the greatest writers on the planet. Some are too narcissistic to take the criticism, too undisciplined to see it through the dry spells, or too committed to greatness to settle for publishing something good. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works. We don’t have to strive for fabulous. Purely doing some good can be really great."

Beth Moore is my fav. She would like me, on account of my big hair and all.

One more portion to share that just about left me in a heap of tears:

"Write on, sister or brother. Don’t wait for a publisher or a book deal. A true writer has to write even with no one to read. Scribble down rogue phrases and incomplete sentences as they come whether or not they seem strung together. Write on the backs of sales receipts or the palm of your other hand. Just write! That book is in there somewhere. If it seems slow, wait for it. (Habakkuk 2:3) And when it comes, may God speak."

So that's what I'm doing. I'm writing. And praying. And that's why I'm posting this here publicly for all 2 of you that read this. I'm asking for your prayers too. Pray that God would have His way. I know in my heart of hearts that this needs to be done. I believe I have direction on the title and the main topic of the book, but I need God ever so much. Ever so.

Thank you :)

Kate is 8?!

I have some pretty cool kids. I just do. They are both unique and different in their own ways, that is for sure. I have yet to do my usual Birthday letter to my oldest baby girl, even though she turned 8 a few months ago. But I figure, what better time than now.

I love to write letters to them; as I'm not one for scrap-booking, I figure this is the next best thing!

I think one reason I've yet to write this Birthday letter is due to the fact that I really have not yet accepted Joei Kate is 8 years old. For some reason this age is hitting me harder than any other age has. I don't know why...just, 8? I mean, 8. EIGHT. It's crazy.

Dear Joei Kate,

You are 8. And that rhymes. And if you were standing next to me we would make up a song about that, as we often make up songs about anything and everything. You are such an awesome kid. I've seen you grow up so much in the past year, too much for my liking and certainly too much for your dad's mental state to handle! I can begin to envision what life will be like for you in the next few years, as you begin to leave the world of a child and onto an actual "kid" now. Ugh.

You are in 2nd grade, with Mrs. Halley. You really like having her for a teacher. You have your BFF in class with you, so I honestly wonder if you pay attention to said enjoyable teacher but nonetheless, you like 2nd grade. You are a loyal friend. You are quick to overlook people's faults when it comes to your friendships; you are a forgiving person as well. I've watched you do it...even if you didn't realize that's what you were doing.

You are so sensitive, and so precious. You are an extremely beautiful girl, both on the outside and on the inside. You have always been, and still are, very compassionate. You don't like me to repeat things to you, such as, do your chores - get your shoes on - empty your lunch pail - on and on...But as your mother, unfortunately nagging is an allowed gift. Sorry about that ;)

You are a great reader, you picked up on that quickly. You love to color and draw, and are very good at that also. You enjoy song-writing and singing. You love to watch TV, especially if there is a fire in the fireplace. But you don't like the fireplace door open, you are extremely cautious. You still are very shy when in the company of strangers, so is Lily. But after awhile, you warm up and begin to share your awesome personality with the world! You still love to be in the nursery at church, "helping" Miss Aleyda. I think you will forever work in the nursery!

A highlight for me recently was watching you be baptized! You decided on your own, that you were ready to make that public confession of your love for Jesus, by being baptized in water. How cool for you that it was your daddy that got to do it! I think you said, "Oh poo," over the mic, if I recall...I don't remember why, but I do believe you did. Yep. That's my girl. Loves potty talk.

I sure love ya kid. I know daddy does not agree with this, as he wants you to stay little forever, but I look forward to growing with you. I look forward to all the years we have ahead of us, watching you change, watching you learn...and in turn, learning a whole lot myself. Love, mom

Spills are not always a bad thing

I love having a Pedicure, how about you? It's such a nice feeling to soak your feet, (in my house we call it "having my fat feet done." I have fat feet. And sausage toes. But I'm totally cool with it, I've accepted that fact about me and it's now become a term of endearment in my home. Along with my Polish calves. But that's another story.)

When you get a Pedicure, they shape your toe-nails, scrub your feet and heels in an attempt to smooth out any rough spots, then they delightfully massage your Polish calves. Er, I mean they massage your calves. Not everyone has PC's. Polish Calves. Again, it's a term of endearment folks, no need to say "awe Jen don't be so hard on yourself." I'm cool with it. But I blame my mother. And my aunts. If I were a blamin' sort of gal. Ok, clearly I'm off the path here...

Whenever I get a Pedicure though, I always feel so bad for the person doing it! I think, gosh, it must be a tough job to do that all.day.long. Dealing with peoples feet all.day.long. And who can know the state of everyone's feet! Can you imagine? Feet are not the most attractive attribute of a person. Did you ever meet someone and think "my they have nice feet!" No! Wait, I think I have. Nevermind. You get the point.

So today I was reading in John about Jesus washing the disciples feet. I've read it before but today it leaped off the page right into my heart. It's a long passage but I want to share it here because it's so profound:

John 13:1-17 says, Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. 2 And supper being ended,[a] the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?” 7 Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.” 8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.” 9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.” 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, “You are not all clean.” 12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

The picture that plays in my head regarding this scene is so fascinating. Can you imagine the disciples reaction to this? And I'm sure there were servants in the room as well, what must they have been thinking? In those days, it was a servants job to wash the feet of the guests as they came in. People wore sandals and walked on dusty roads so it was not un-usual for your feet to be cleansed as you arrived into a home, however, it was very un-usual for Jesus to be doing it.

Here you have a man that has literally changed people's lives in the short time He had been ministering in full effect. People had been healed from tremendous things, raised from the dead, devils cast out, broken hearts made whole...all through this man Jesus. And now He is doing the job of a servant.

The great I AM, washing feet. The King of Kings, washing feet. The Lion of the tribe of Judah, washing feet. The Bright and morning Star, washing feet. The Creator of the universe, washing feet. The Lily of the Valley, washing feet. My redeemer, washing feet. Your redeemer, washing feet.

I would share in Peter's response of "Lord, what are you doing? You don't wash my feet! No way! I'd rush to get up, to cause Jesus to quit doing that lowly job. No way is MY Lord going to wash MY filthy fat, sausage toe havin feet! No way."

And yet Jesus says if you don't let me do this, you have no part in me. Hmmm. Wow.

Serving each other unites us on such greater a level then we can imagine. The unity felt in that room after Jesus finished that amazing act must have been something out of this world. Well, minus Judas. But still...serving unites us.

That's one thing I absolutely love about our Church, it's full of servants. People that would not bat an eye at getting down and washing someone's feet, so to speak. They are willing to rise high, to go low. Powerful people, powerful feet washing people.

Smith Wigglesworth said, "We are no good if we only have a full cup. We need to have an overflowing cup all the time. It is a tragedy not to live in the fullness of overflowing. See that you never live below the overflowing tide."

Ephesians 5:18 tells us to be "filled with the Spirit." The same book tells us in chapter 3 to be "filled to the measure with the fullness of Christ." You never know what a person can do when they are filled to the measure...when you are so full of the Spirit that you in your own self can't contain it all, so it begins to spill out on all those around you. If we stand tall all the time, steady as a rock, nothing can spill out of us right? It's only until we bend down and begin to wash the feet of another person, that stuff begins to spill. When we get down in people's lives, stuff spills. When we enthrall ourselves for the cause of another, stuff spills. When we feel the pain of another, walking through hardship with them, stuff spills. When we serve, stuff spills.

I want stuff to spill out of me today, how about you? May the Spirit of God so flow through us, that as we bend to serve, that sweet Spirit would spill. And spill. And spill.

Why?

I've read the following scripture before, even pondered it on occasion, but it's coming to life for me lately...

Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the Heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I can fully get that; God's ways are higher than mine, He has a reason for everything that He does. I can read that verse and say yep, I will never understand why God moves the way He moves. Furthermore, I'm thankful for this verse. Thank God that He does things outside of my understanding, cuz how boring if He only operated according to my thoughts.

But then you see this verse in action in the lives of people around you and it causes you to really ponder the truth of what is being said. Really, really.

Yesterday, a woman in our church, one that I've grown to love a great deal over the past few years, went to be with the Lord. She fought cancer - and when I say "fought," I mean it in every sense of the word. This woman is an enigma, to say the least. I've never seen a person walk through such an intense storm in life with the amount of grace and strength as she did. Her joy for God was absolutely contagious. To watch her praise during worship was something out of this world, literally. I can only recall a handful of times she actually missed church during this battle, in fact, she was just there less than a week before she died. This woman was a fighter. She did everything she knew to do to receive a healing from the Lord. She followed the Word of God in every way possible, she did all that we know to do. And yet, she still was taken home without receiving a physical healing, here on this earth anyhow.

Now, of course we believe that she is in the midst of an ultimate healing. We could not bribe her back here if we tried! She is literally seeing with her own eyes the things that we have only been so lucky as to read about. And more than we have read...more than we can imagine...because again, our thoughts can't even begin to go there.

So as my heart is so grieved over this, as I will no longer be able to watch an extraordinary trophy of God's grace dance before Him, I'll not be able to sit and joke with her about the state of her wig or the lack of her make up, or the fact that her husband had the job of once helping her with her make-up, thereby making her look like a clown, or the fact that she was called a little old man in the hospital once, so she decided to wear fancy sparkly hats from there out...I'll greatly miss those things...BUT, I have the hope that I'll see her again.

And as I sat yesterday upon hearing the news, pondering this woman's faith, an unshakeable faith, I asked the question that we all have asked at one point or another, why? Why was she called home to glory? Why was she not healed here on this earth? Because in my mind, wow, imagine the amazement the doctors would have felt if she was healed here. Imagine the glory God would be given.

And then I was quickly reminded of this verse. My thoughts are not His thoughts. What I think would have been a phenomenal chapter for her cannot even match what God's thoughts are on the book of her life. Only God took each step with her, journey after journey. Storm after storm. Victory after victory. Setback after setback. Miracle after miracle.

I can try to reason why God moved in this way, but again, my thoughts are not His thoughts. So even my reasoning isn't even a drop in the bucket compared to the reasoning of God.

Why did the Lord take my husband's dear mother home at the young age of 46? In my thoughts, man, imagine the glory that could have come to the Lord had He chose to heal that precious woman completely! My girls would have the joy of knowing her. I would have the honor of having a mother in law. But again, my thoughts are not His thoughts. My ways are not His ways.

So to anyone that might find themselves in a place of "why" today, remember this verse. It won't answer your question, it won't immediately take the sting away from the grief, it may not even bring you that solace you so desire in this particular moment...but if you will allow yourself to fall back into the arms of Jesus, eyes shut, body limp, just fall back. The one that does know the answer will catch you. And one day, in the sweet by and by, you will ask the questions, and He will tell you why.

As the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so are His ways higher than ours. That's pretty high. But not too high for Him to catch you. He's just a fall away...

You actually can

I started taking some kickboxing classes last week, AKA "torture classes." There is one instructor in particular who is very, very difficult. I'd say she was my friend but I've come to doubt the validity of our friendship after the brutality this woman puts me through! Ahh well she actually is my friend, and she does push us, extremely hard, but it's good as it causes me to do things I have never been able to do.

So the other day Lily (my 4 year old) & I were talking about Miss Nina and how tough she is; I was telling her how she always encourages us, telling us "you can do it!" To which Lily said, "She's actually right, you CAN do it. You never give up."

The way Lily so emphatically said that was great! She said it as if to say, "duh mom, of course you can do it, because you never should give up." In her little four year old mind, it's common sense, you don't give up. It's not optional. You just keep going.

I read this morning in Matthew such an encouraging scripture: Matthew 25:21 says, "His Lord said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

This is the passage of scripture that describes what each individual did with the talents they were given by their Master, this referring to money but I liken it to the gifts God has given us. I love how the Bible says in Matthew 25:15, "To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability."

"Each according to his ability." Hmmm. "Each according to his ability." One more time, "each according to his ability."

When I look back over my life, (mind you I just realized I'm actually a year younger than I thought I was, so I have an extra year to live now!) and I focus on the years that I've been a Christian, about 21 years now, it's interesting to look at the "talents" God has given me along the way. First of all, 21 years? Wow. Thank you Lord for saving me as a teenager.

Second, God gave me talents? Yes. And He has given them to you as well. That's a bizarre thing to process isn't it? I never, ever look at myself as talented. I consider myself average, always have been. I've never been one to think gee, I've got skills. Because I don't. Although I can bust a pretty good groove...in my head. And I can make up random songs about random things, preferably to 80's tunes. But I digress.

Average. In the middle. Not a cut above, not upper class, not in the higher bracket, not necessarily below, but not above. Hmm. Some of the words that are used to define the word "average" are, "medium, mediocre & ordinary."

Gosh. When you look at it like that, it sure is a stark contrast to what God say's about us, isn't it? The Bible tells me that I am "more than a conquerer." That means I'm not only winning the battle, but I'm taking spoils with me. More. God tells me that "I will be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath." Then of course we know that we "are fearfully and wonderfully made, that God's works are marvelous."

Me, marvelous? Above? The Head? More than a conqueror? Nah, not me. Not this little girl that grew up in a horrible environment, poor, abused & shamed. Surely God is not referring to me. Surely He is speaking to everyone else right? Because this little girl from the ghetto is lucky to even be average. I deserve far less.

How about you? Is that how you feel too? I'd venture to say that many of us do indeed feel that way. Because if we didn't, if we really grasped the intensity of God's call on our lives, if we truly knew that He indeed has "clothed us with strength and dignity," if we really, really, really could comprehend that every scripture in God's Holy word is actually for us little old average folks, then my goodness friends we would be taking up the talents that God has given to us, and we would run this race set before us; we would have the confidence that caused Lily to say, "Of course you can do it,YOU NEVER GIVE UP!"

I'm not average. And neither are you. Anyone that calls themselves a son or a daughter of the King of Kings has no room for mediocrity. Our blood is too strong for that, our inheritance too rich. The same power that flowed through Jesus is the same power that flows through us. Jesus was anything BUT average.

I don't know about you, but I can picture Jesus, kneeling down to pick me up from my self-proclaimed average position, slowly lifting me up until our eyes met - imagine that for a moment. Looking into the eyes of your Master. The one that knows everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly. He knows it. He knows your doubt, He knows your anger, He knows your thoughts, He knows your actions. He knows it. He knows the environment you were raised in, He knows the struggles that you faced, He knows the hills you had to climb and He knows the valleys you have sat in. He knows it. And regardless of it all, He bids you to come. And when you come to Him, He cleans you up, He restores those things that have been taken from you, He puts all kinds of goodness into ya, and then He does something that he certainly does not have to do, He gives you talents.

Jesus has given each and every one of us talents. What are yours today? And we're not talking "America's got Talent," or something. Not a gift that the world views as a talent, although sometimes that is the case and God certainly uses that. But I'm referring to that thing that God has gifted YOU to do. It's unique to YOU. Tailor made for YOU. And whatever it is, it will draw people to the Lord. Cuz that's how we do...

Like the scripture in Matthew said, good and faithful "servant." When you love Jesus, you will use your talents to serve. When Jesus consumes every part of you, those gifts just keep on flowing from you, often un-awares. When He is your all and all, you say like Lily, "You actually can do it..you never give up."

You actually can. You actually can...

On purpose

I just wanted to share this encouraging portion of scripture today - it's a passage so full of the goodness of the Lord I can hardly stand it:

Isaiah 61:1-3

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound; 2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

See what I mean? Such goodness. It speaks for itself, but allow me to paraphrase this awesome passage if you will...

Jesus came to heal my broken heart. My heart that had been wounded so greatly as a child, He came to heal. Your heart, perhaps wounded in the same manner, or through a different relationship, or through a job loss, or through a health setback, or through a financial crisis, your heart too, He came to heal.

He came to set me free from the prison of shame that I lived in. He set me free from the prison of worthlessness and inferiority. He set me free from a prison of bitterness and un-forgiveness. He set me free from numerous things that if time permitted, I'd keep you here at least an hour. And He came to set you free too. From whatever prison has held you, He's already set you free. From whatever prison may still hold you, know that He has already unlocked the door for you. It's time to step out of the door. It's open.

He came to give me beauty for the ashes that I found myself sitting in. He came and took a mess of a life and turned it into something so beautiful that I can hardly contain my thankfulness! The life I get to live now is nothing short of a miracle when you look upon the ashes I once was in. True beauty. He came to do that for you too.

He came to give me joy in the midst of sadness. He came to remind me that this is just a temporary existence, I'm simply passing through this life. This is not my permanent resting place. And because of that, I can walk through the sorrows that this old world can bring with my head held high, full of joy, knowing that I'm on my way to a place where God will wipe every tear from my eye. I'm going to a place where there is no more sorrow, there is no pain. So while here on this Earth, I'll do my best to be all I can be for Christ, living a life full of joy, in hopes of taking some other folks to that same great place I'm headed. He came to give you that joy too.

Oh man, now this one brings me tears. He came to give me a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Now hold onto your hats folks, because I'm liable to sail away on this one. Anyone felt a heaviness that you just could not shake? You ever felt so weighed down with the cares of this world that you could not bare to get out of bed? Heaviness. Ugh. We have all been there. We have all faced some things that truly seemed insurmountable, and as a result, a spirit of heaviness sets on us like a thick, wool blanket. A spirit of heaviness will steal your joy, it will steal your love for life, it will steal your relationships, it will steal your will to press forward...unlesss. Unless.

Unless you stand up, adjust your posture to that of royalty, shake off that old wool blanket that's been draping you for far too long and you begin to SHOUT!!!! SHOUT! SHOUT!!! Shout out the goodness of our God! Shout out that He is your redeemer! Shout out that He is your provider! Shout out that He is your Savior! Shout out that He is your deliverer! Shout out that He is your way-maker! Shout out that He is your love! Shout out that He is your song! Shout out that He is your protector! Shout out that He is your vindicator! Shout out that He is your righteousness! Shout! Shout! Shout!

My oh my. What a great God we get to serve. I love this last part as well, "That they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

God planted me on purpose. You ever plant something in your garden, and those pesky little weeds pop up and try to take out the thing you planted on purpose? Drives me batty when that happens. What I planted on purpose is meant to flourish, not the weeds that try to come in and overtake. You were planted on purpose. Don't let a spirit of heaviness set in and overtake what God has planted on purpose. Don't allow that blanket to sit on you another day. You were planted on purpose; that you would bring glory to the Lord. Everything you & I do will face a consequence, be it good or bad. May our choices bring glory to God. May our choices be made out of a righteous heart, because He has made us righteous. Because He has made us joyful. Because He has made us free. Because He has made us on purpose.

Does it ever stop?

I don't know about you, but I have days where my mind is constantly going. I'd venture to say most all women have this problem, our mind's don't take a rest! We are always thinking of the tasks of the day, the problems we are facing, the hurts of others or even ourselves, the needs that we are aware of...the list goes on and on and on. Wether we are sad or rejoicing, mad or delighted, anxious or peaceful, we are always something. Something is always filling our mind. Something. What's your something today?

Psalm 94:19 says, "In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul."

How great a scripture is that? It goes along with what I was reading this morning in John 14 where Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Then I open up good old Facebook and this scripture was posted: Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Hmmm. I see a theme for the day here! Peace. Rest. Comfort.

We like to fix stuff. We want to solve everyone's problems. We women care so very deeply for people that when a friend or family member is struggling, it nearly overwhelms our soul until that situation is resolved. But is that right? Well, to a degree I think so. And to a degree, not so much.

I love women. I love how intricate we are. I love how emotional we are. I love how big we love. I love how it's first nature for us to help someone. I think God did a pretty cool job when He created us!

But then there is the side of us that.never.shuts.off. Or maybe that's just me. Our mind's keep going and going until we have either re-hearsed the situation to death or we have solved the problem ten times over or we have struggled to make sense of something, etc., etc., etc.

Anyone? No? Just me? Ok, I'll take the wrap today! Well I have a news flash for you then, Jen Steelman: It's not up to you to fix the world!

Nor is it up to anyone else out there that has ever mulled over stuff until they are blue in the face, thinking that the more we think about it the closer we are to fixing it. Not true.

Jesus left us with His peace. His peace? Can you imagine the depth of that peace? Go with me for a moment to Gethsemane. Oh my goodness. Ya gotta read it for yourself: Luke 22:41-44 "And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."

The One who could fix the world had a mind that was full. The One who very well could have solved His problem at that moment, had a mind that was overwhelmed. He easily could have said, "forget it. I'm not doing this. I'm not going through with it. Forget it." He could have decided to just fix the world. Forget the plan of redemption, just fix it. Make everyone robots.

But in essence He says "I love these people too much. I love them so much that I want them to have their own free will. I created them each so individually, and I love that about them! I want them to make their own choices regarding their feelings toward me. I will die for them. And in so doing I will make it so very easy for them to get to me. Because I love them."

Talk about a mind that's overwhelmed. Talk about the weight of the world on His shoulders, literally. LITERALLY.

So when He says that He leaves us with His peace, He knows the extent of what that means. He knows what it is like to agonize over something, He knows what it's like to want to fix a problem, He knows what it's like to hurt and to grieve, He knows what it's like to have people hate you, He knows what it's like to be rejected and betrayed, He knows what it's like to be afraid of the unknown, and He knows what it's like to love a person (people) so deeply that it overwhelms you to the core of your soul. He knows.

And it's with that knowledge that He is able to say, "MY peace I leave with you." He knows what is waiting for us in eternity. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows how that problem you are worried about will be solved. He knows how He is going to take that difficult situation you went through and use it for good. He totally, totally knows.

And that, my friends, is the Peace He gives. It's a peace that we can hang onto reminding us that He is in control and not us. It's a peace that we can claim in the midst of any storm we might face. It's a peace that will surround us in the confusing seasons of life. It's a peace that will indeed go beyond what we can understand and bring such a sense of calm that we have no doubt that God is on His throne. It's a peace that drove Jesus to the cross...woah. Peace? He went to the cross with peace? You bet He did. Because He trusted in His Father to work all things for the good. Wow.

So when life begins to overwhelm us, and our mind begins to race with all the "stuff" we women face, remember the peace that Jesus left us with. Remember that He felt all the same emotions that you feel. And remember, that in spite of what He felt, He stayed on the path created for Him, trusting in God, walking in Peace.

Reminds me of the hymn, "peace, peace, wonderful peace, coming down from the Father above."

Hold onto your peace today. Give those things over to the Lord, trust Him for the outcome. Because at the end of the day, He really can fix the world.

I'm a Chocolate Chip!

The Body of Christ is a unique thing; so important to this world in that it holds the answer to eternity within it's members, the answer that is Jesus & His gift of salvation. And yet, even with such immense power at our disposal, the body of Christ holds the potential to do such damage, and more often then not, that damage is done within the body.

God loves his bride, the body of Christ. He looks at us through the precious blood of His Son, Jesus, and He see's nothing that we have done in our past, He see's nothing that once held us down, because as the body of Christ, we are under that cleansing blood of Jesus. So when He looks at us, He see's our great potential! He knows the power house that we can be! He knows what great things can be accomplished for the good when the body of Christ comes together in unity, when we combine our resources to do some good stuff for the Kingdom of God, when we walk in love in every area of our life, to everyone we come in contact with. That's the body of Christ at it's finest. And He knows it.

But I wonder today, do we know it? Do we really comprehend the power that resides in the body of Christ? Do we fully allow the body to work the way that it was intended to work? Or do we let offense set it, do we dwell on the negative things going on around us, do we deem the job to big or the problem insurmountable? Hmm. I just wonder.

The job is big. The problem does indeed seem insurmountable. Unity in the body of Christ? Too hard. Or is it?

Jesus said that the Harvest is plentiful but that the workers are few. So if the Harvest is there, I guess all that's needed is the workers to plow the fields. And who are the workers? Its you, it's me, it's our brother's and it's our sisters. It's the amazing, fantastic, beautiful, intelligent, gifted, anointed, loving and caring body of Christ. It's His bride. It's His church. It's His people.

I love 1 Corinthians chapter 12. So much in there to glean from. But let's look at verse 27. It say's, "Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually."

Each one of us is unique to the body of Christ. Each of us has something different to bring to the table. As I was baking the other day, I was reminded of this very thing. Often in baking you mix the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients separately. As I was mixing the flour, the salt & the baking soda, I was thinking how gross that would taste by itself. And even as you mix the wet ingredients, granted it's often with sugar & butter so it's a tad more palatable, but still, not a great taste. But then you put it all together and voila, you have baked goodness. Apart from one another, they just don't function to their fullest potential, but together, they bring delight to all who partake...think about that for a moment. Hmmm.

And now let's not forget the chocolate chips! Now they can stand on their own can't they? They taste good before being added to the dry & wet ingredients, I'm sure we can all attest to sneaking one or two or twenty chocolate chips while baking cookies. Even though they taste good alone, they taste even BETTER combined. There true flavor comes out in the baking process. Oh goodness, there's another analogy. Someone stop me!

I've decided that I want to be a chocolate chip in the body of Christ. I want to be a person that is strong enough to stand on my own. Like a great verse I read in 1 Corinthians, it's 6:13 and it say's, "Watch, stand fast in faith, be brave, be strong." I want to live that verse. I want to be brave and strong. I want to be able to stand on my own, IF I HAD TO. I'm a chocolate chip! Yes, I want to be able to stand on my own, but I don't want to have to. I want to be the ingredient that when combined with all the other individual ingredients, something greater comes out of me.

In order to be that, I've got to do my part to represent the body of Christ well. I've got to live offense free, probably the hardest thing to do, in my opinion. I've got to keep my mouth shut like the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I've got to be careful not to carry someone else's offense. I've got to let God be the judge of others, it's not up to me. I dwell on that topic for a moment because I believe it's one of the biggest dividers in the body of Christ. We take up one another's offense, without having all the facts about a situation, we jump on the band wagon and call it truth, while leaving a wake of dissension in our dust. It's awful to see happen and unfortunately I've seen it happen all too often. It's hard for folks to recover from offense that leads to division. It's hard for the body of Christ as a whole, but furthermore, it's hard for the individual. Offense can shipwreck your faith, causing you to believe that God is somehow the author of a mess like that...when all along it really was the devil, just orchestrating a situation, all for the sake of destroying a member of the body.

I much prefer talking about chocolate than I do the devil, so let's get back to being a chocolate chip! To be the chocolate chip, we have to be offense free. We have to bridle our tongue. We should be the most encouraging group of people that folks are plain annoyed by our joy! And yet, they can't help but be intrigued by it. We are to be "doers of the Word and not just hearers." So in other words, as my handsome, bald husband says, "we should not just be butts in the seats but we should be boots on the streets!" Let's get out into the world and do something for the Kingdom!

The body of Christ is truly precious. I'm so so so so happy to be a part of it. I love my brothers and my sisters. Does offense come? Oh ya. But I'm aware of it. I know it's just the devil and not the person. Do I get grumpy? Yep. Do I fail often? Yep and yep and yep. But the beauty of a chocolate chip is that regardless of the shape it's in, it still tastes good when mixed with others. I may be a mess of a mess, but doggonit, I'm a pretty tasty chocolate chip! How about you?

Gossip Slug

Gossip is one of those words that we don't use much these days, because nobody thinks "they" actually gossip. But in reality, we all are guilty of it. This is what Webster's says the word "gossip" means: "Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true."

We have all fallen to prey to that ugly word, gossip. The word itself is just ugly isn't it? So much so that I don't like to say it. And yet, we so carelessly allow words to fly out of our mouths that are "unconstrained."

We know gossip to be a bad thing, and we know when we are doing it. We know when something is coming out of our mouths that is not 100% fact as much as we know if we can swim or not. We know. But let's look at something just as dangerous that we can do with our tongue, other than gossip.

Colossians 4:6 got me thinking this morning; it say's, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt."

What does salt do? Well, it does many things. It can clean a wound, bring out the flavor of food and, oh yes, it can kill a slug! Ew. Slugs are pretty gross. I mean, what purpose does a slug serve? Just the name slug is bad! Hey, since the word "gossip" does not comfortably roll off our tongue, and neither does the word "slug," let's call it "gossip slug!" Ok, ok. I realize I took that way too far. I digress.

That scripture is extremely powerful! Extremely. First off, let our words ALWAYS be with grace. It does not say that our words can be full of grace when we are happy in the situation, or when everyone agree's with us, or when we are in charge of the conversation, or when we feel we are being heard, no, it says "always." Hmm.

Always.

So, when someone does me wrong? When I'm inclined to "tell it like it is?" When I feel the need to get my opinion out so strongly that I can't listen to what the other person is saying because bless God my opinion is right? When I don't agree with them? When they are clearly and knowingly in the wrong?

Always.

Man! Let our speech always be with grace. Now please don't get me wrong here, of course we are not to sit back and let someone rake us over the coals, or abuse us, or be-little us, and of course we are entitled to our opinion and the time to share it, etc., etc., etc. But I like to think that there are ways to handle difficult situations in life with grace. In every situation we find ourselves in, there will be two ways we can handle it; either with grace, or I guess the opposite of that = disgrace. Now since I'm a huge fan of definitions, let Webster define "disgrace" for us. "Loss of reputation or respect, especially as the result of a dishonorable action."

Something we tell our girls often is that "Choices have consequences." It's so simple and yet so true. Every move we make has an end result to it. It either gets us closer to our God given destiny or it moves us further away from it. And so it is with words. The words we use in reaction to people or situations can never be taken back. Once they are off our tongue, that's it. So if we strive to live by the scripture that tells us to "let our speech always be full of grace," then we know that the consequence to our choice will always be a good one.

Grace dis-arms people. Grace sets people at ease. When you find yourself in a heated discussion or situation, the grace that pours out of your mouth will be like cool water on a hot surface. It begins to put the whole situation in a sweeter light.

I also love the second part of that verse - "seasoned with salt." Back to all the things that salt can do, well, minus the killing of the slug, I spent enough time on that, poor gossip slug.

May the words that flow from our mouths be so encouraging that they actually enhance the hearers life! If salt enhances flavor in food, how should our words be? They should be encouraging, edifying, uplifting. I understand that there are times we have to speak the truth, and sometimes that truth can be hard for the hearer to hear. However, when the truth is being told in a manner that is full of grace, that is seasoned with salt, then the truth will not fall on deaf ears, but will be received and given the opportunity to do the work with which it was sent forth to do!

Slug gossip is such a bummer. I vividly recall the moment I was so convicted of something that I said that it forever changed my view of gossip. It was many, many years ago - but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. There was such an internal disgust that surrounded my choice of words that it's forever etched in my memory to the point that when I hear any form of gossip now it upsets me greatly. But God used that situation to show me how very powerful gossip can be.

I was reminded of the damage gossip does recently when someone asked me if what they "heard" was true about a person. Of course, it was not true at all, in fact, the rumor was straight from the devil himself. But the sad part is that the hearer, even months later, still had a tainted view of the situation even after knowing the truth, all over a hell breathed rumor.

As I type this, tears are flooding my eyes over the damage that our words have the potential to do. Please, I implore you, all two of you that read this, please be careful with the words that come out of your mouth. Are they full of truth? And if so, is it something you actually need to be sharing anyway or is it private. Keep it private. Are your words full of grace? Are they encouraging and uplifting? Let's find the good in people and brag about that. People should feel so awesome when they leave our presence, not because of us, but because of how we made them feel. People should know when they come to a conversation with you that it's a safe place to converse, that it's an encouraging place to converse, and most of all, that it's a graceful place to converse.

I'll leave you with this verse in James 3:17-18 that says, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Isn't that so good? May we live out that verse today, and everyday to come. That we would judge the words of our mouth by that verse. May the hearer always leave our presence feeling like they can be the best they can be, that they are loved by a great and mighty God, and that no matter what the world tells them, they are indeed, super awesome!

I told someone awhile back that my goal was to be so encouraging that it was almost annoying! Almost. Would you join me in that? Let's pour salt on that filthy, old gossip slug. Besides, the trail the slug leaves is dirty enough...

He's gotta go

My little, nearly 8 year old Joei Kate is very observant; she is a people watcher to the fullest degree. So much so that she felt that the gal working at the Target Cafe yesterday was part of her family because she was watching her so much, (her words, not mine!) Then she told me the name of another Target employee that was smoking, but she was very pretty. She took all this in during the short amount of time it took to eat a little lunch. Observant.

Lately she is questioning the effects of drugs, alcohol & smoking. We have many a conversation about it, the topic intrigues her and she can't wrap her head around why anyone would be tempted by those things, things that have so much harming potential. I love her innocence and I pray so hard that she keeps that view about those things.

So yesterday in the car she asks me if I've ever broke the law. Awesome. I suppose I could have smoked (no pun intended) over the question but I feel like giving my kids as much truth as they can handle is beneficial. Of course I don't over do the details, but I walked the road I walked for a reason and hopefully they can learn from it. So I told her about the time I got caught stealing an obscene amount of make-up. I was 13, about to be 14 years old. Not my brightest moment in life, let me tell you. I shared some of the story and answered her questions then offered up my "excuse," so to speak. I said that I didn't know Jesus at the time so I didn't fully comprehend right or wrong. But as soon as that was out of my mouth I realized no, that's not exactly true Jen. I knew it was wrong to steal. I knew it was very, very wrong as I tried to walk out of the store with an overwhelming feeling of nervousness in the pit of my stomach for the wrong I was doing. I knew it was wrong. What I lacked was the desire to live for Jesus with every ounce of my being. The desire for serving Him that would overwhelm the desire for any temptation to do wrong that would come my way. So I had to amend my statement to my observant little girl. It is what it is.

I love 1 Peter 5:8-9 as it says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world."

The devil has sought to devour me on many occasions; he started before I even came into this world and he has not stopped ever since. He does not want me to realize the full potential I have inside of me so he comes after me with thoughts that will derail me from the course that God has laid before me. He tries to invade my relationships, my thoughts, my actions & my heart. And he will do the same to you.

That's why Peter is telling us to stay on alert! It's not time to mess around in this life God has given us. There is no time to fall prey to the silly, pointless temptations that come into our paths. There is no time to say "only this once and never again" because we have no idea how tremendous the consequences of that choice may be. There is no time to allow an offense to sit in our heart, festering and growing into a bitterness that we no longer can control. There is no time to allow mean and cruel words to come out of our mouths because once they are spoken out they can only be forgiven, not taken back. THERE IS NO TIME!

That old devil knows our weak spots and he goes after them continuously. He can't read our mind, but he can read our actions. I love this from Smith Wigglesworth:

"We must resist in the hour when Satan's schemes may bewilder us, when we are almost swept off our feet, and when darkness is upon us to a degree that it seems as if some evil thing had overtaken us. 'Resist him, steadfast in the faith.'"

We can get to what feels like the lowest of lows in our life; we may feel like the pressure is so intense that we can't bare another minute before our top blows off. That's the very moment that our resistance will bring a breakthrough. Don't give in to his schemes or to his temptations. Resist him! James tell us to "Resist the devil and he will flee." So that tells me that our resistance, our standing up to that sucker and saying heck no am I going to bow to this pressure, no way am I going to let you run my mind any longer, no way am I going to receive the thoughts you are sending to my mind, no way am I going to allow that thing to fester in my heart, playing that hurtful conversation or scenario over in my head any longer, no way am I going to go out and give into that temptation you are driving me to, there is NO WAY I am doing that so look out devil because my Resistance is bringing my breakthrough!!

Romans 8:18 says, "For I consider that the sufferings on this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

It's not worthy. Whatever you are facing today, be it pressure, physical hardship, mental anguish, anxiety like you have never faced before, temptation so overwhelming you feel as though you cannot resist it, disappointment, doubt - whatever the case may be in your life today, remind yourself that it's not worthy.

It's not worthy when you put it up against glory. It's not worthy when you look at it from an outside lens, that we are simply passing through this life. It's not worthy when you read God's Word and see that He is preparing a place for you in Heaven. A place so great that He will wipe every tear from our eyes. We have tears now, we have hurts now, we have issues now, we have set-backs and temptations now...but there. Oh my goodness. It's not worthy. It's not worthy.

Be sober. Be vigilant. Be steadfast. Be strong. Be courageous. Be you. Because it's not worthy.

Un-friended. Again.

Do you ever see a bumper sticker that you remember? One that just catches your attn. and either makes you laugh, cry or get extremely angry? I have.

For instance, I cannot stand it when people distort the Fish that represents Christianity, with something referring to evolution, the devil, etc. Drives me batty. I have to refrain from staring at the driver as I pass them because, well, that would prove their point if I did! Where's the love in that? I have to remind myself to pray for that person as they clearly have not met the Jesus that I have. They don't know Him to be so loving and kind and compassionate. They don't know that He loves them on such an extreme level that we can't even comprehend it. But I pray that one day they do. And then they will realize why distorting that fish hurts my heart to see...

Every now and again a bumper sticker really makes me laugh. I love it when I see one that is just genuinely funny! Then you have the stickers that have cuss words on them and again, the mad Jen comes out because I'd rather not have to explain to my 7 year old that can now read what it means...and again, pray Jen, pray.

I remember in school we had to make our own bumper sticker; we were to come up with the slogan and design it and carry it on to completion. I must have been 10 or 11 and all I could come up with was "Only pigs snort." It was supposed to be an anti-drug kind of thing, with a pig snout and all. Ya, it was pretty lame. So clearly I'm not the most clever when it comes to bumper stickers. But hold your hats folks because I've got a good one now:

"Excuse my poor driving, I've been un-friended. Again."

Or how about, "I could use a hug, I've been un-friended. Again." Or, "Pay no attention to my erratic behavior, I've just been un-friended. Again."

Perhaps you can guess what this post is about. It's happened to me numerous times, and perhaps it's happened to you. Social Networking is great for a lot of things; keeping in touch has never been easier, organizing events, killing time, tons of fun right? Right. Until you get un-friended. Sometimes it's innocent, a person just cleaning up their friends list and realizing you don't talk much, they delete you from their facebook. Totally understandable. But then their are times it's deliberate. And they go to your little profile picture, look at your cheezy, happy mug and still choose to un-friend ya. Delete you from their friend list. Remove you. End your relationship. Done. Buh-bye.

If you have not felt that feeling before, it's not the greatest feeling. Hence my need to come up with bumper stickers full of humor to deflect the fact that I have feelings too. And you do as well.

Not everybody is going to like us. Jesus said, "the world hated me, and it will hate you." Sometimes decisions are made that are not popular, and you loose friends. Sometimes you make a comment you wish you could take back, and you loose a friend. Sometimes there are mis-understandings and again, you loose a friend.

But it leads me to this question, were they ever really a friend to begin with? Do you really have 500 friends! Because true friends hash stuff out. True friends don't resort to facebook to air their dirty laundry. True friends talk in a real life manner. "Friend" is a very deep word. Very.

Social networking is great for many reasons, but it's also not great, for many reasons. You don't hear peoples tone of voice over social networking. You don't get to see the emotion they are portraying. You don't truly get to hear the heart of a person.

I suppose if you go into the Social world of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc., you have to go in with a light heart. You have to know that everybody takes themselves far to seriously and it's easy to fall into the trap to do the same thing.

Facebook is fun! Twitter, fun. I don't plan to give them up anytime soon, although I have contemplated it as of late. But again, can't take ourselves too seriously!

So long as we keep in mind that those things can't define who we are, we will remain in a good place. If we allow the thoughts and opinions of others to define us, we move to a bad place. If we dwell on those that reject us, we move to a bad place. If we go to facebook with our emotions on our sleeves, we are heading to a vulnerable place, not one that belongs floating around cyberspace for all to see. Let's be wise when it comes to that kind of stuff. Have fun! Don't take yourself to seriously. And don't take your friends, or lack thereof, too seriously either. It is what it is.

I just thought of a new bumper sticker, "Jesus won't un-friend me. Ever."

Nor will he un-friend you. Nor will He turn on you. Nor will He leave you. Not ever. He's cool like that.

Memories

I'm reading a great book at the moment that is really challenging me in quite a few areas of life. You ever read a book at just the right time, right when you needed to read it, so much so that everything in that book is like a light bulb? Well that is this book I'm into at the moment. Excuse me as my daughter runs in, having changed for the umpteenth time to go nowhere wondering if her shoe is on the wrong foot. And now she is changing shoes. Ok then...

So anyhow, I read yet another great thought the other day and decided to personalize it to myself. I wonder if you might like to do the same.

Philippians 4:8 is a pretty common verse, one many of us are familiar with, but my goodness many of us don't live it on a daily basis, myself included.

"Finally, my brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things."

There ya have it. If what my mind is set upon does not fall into the category above, it's not worthy of my time.

This book, "Made to Crave," deals with the emotional side of eating. It deals with much more, but at the core of the book is getting the reader back to a place of craving only God. When our hearts desire is the Lord, all else in life falls into place.

We all have issues. We all have had stuff happen to us along life's journey that has shaped us and made us who we are, be it a negative or a positive, we have all had experiences that have been engraved into our memories.

Often our minds go to those negative things that have happened and they camp there, bringing out all sorts of emotions and actions that we would rather do without. I believe that we need to let ourselves feel the emotion of the circumstance, we need to grieve that negative thing that caused a loss to our life, wether it be a physical loss or an emotional loss, still very powerful either way.

But I also believe that the Bible says, "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed." So there has to come a point where we move past the hurt; we recognize the issue for what it is, we grieve it, but then we hand it over to God and we don't look back. The Bible also says in Galatians that "it is for freedom that Christ set us free, no longer to be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

We are not to be slaves to the circumstances that have caused us pain. If we stay camped in that moment, we forego true freedom, and without even realizing it all of our choices and actions flow from a heart that is broken, stuck on an incident.

So that's where this great scripture in Philippians comes in. The author of "Made to Crave," took a negative circumstance in her life and dug around for the positive. It was hard to find, but she found it.

A negative circumstance in my life was growing up with an alcoholic father. As a result of that addiction, my home was full of hurt, pain, fear and mass chaos. For much of my life, the choices and actions I made came from a place of hurt. But then I met Jesus and slowly began to turn those things over, too where there is no longer a sting anymore. But if I'm not careful, my mind can still mull over the things that I saw or heard or felt or feared.

So while I often have thought of my Dad in a negative light, the same was said for the author of the book I'm loving at the moment, she chose to find a positive in her Dad, a healthy place that her mind could camp. So I'm going to do that too.

In all honesty, my last conversation with my dad before he passed away is a great memory for me, one that I hold dear and thank God for. It was a tremendously healing moment for me. But that was recent. If I have to dig deep into my childhood, I have two fond memories of my dad.

One was at a very, very young age, maybe 2 or 3. Kind of wild that I remember that far back, but it's only a glimpse. My dad was laying on his back playing airplane with me; the game where you put your belly on someones feet and they lift you up. I enjoyed that moment! Although, I do recall it ending in me throwing up on him...oops.

My other memory was a time that my dad allowed me to stay home from school one day. I'm surprised I even wanted to stay home with him to be honest, but for whatever reason, I did. He wore an apron while making spaghetti. I recall making a tent by placing a sheet over the table...and building towers with muffin liners.

Two good memories I have of my dad from an otherwise painful childhood. I don't have much remembrance of those memories, but that's ok, because I have them. And they remind me that my dad himself was not a bad person, it was the choices that he made that were bad that caused the pain. He was not bad. His choices were. Because a person that is truly evil would not play airplane with his little girl and not be angry after being vomited on. A person that was truly evil would not build towers out of cupcake liners in an attempt to create a normal day in his daughters otherwise abnormal world.

My dad was not an evil man. In spite of the other countless negative memories I have that may prove otherwise, these two memories allow my mind to camp in a positive place. And as I allow my mind to camp here, on these two vague memories, any hold of hurt or pain that tries to rise from the negative memories has no power anymore! If a hurtful thought comes to me, I can recall my little belly on my dad's feet. If the devil tries to bring up a shame filled moment again, I can picture a tower built out of flimsy little muffin liners. And then I'll remember that my dad really was good. His actions were not. Be he was. He was.

So I encourage you to do the same today. Together, let's press on towards a high calling in Christ Jesus. He has stuff for us to do. He has freedom for us to grab hold of. He has goals for us to meet. He has giants for us to conquer. He has a song for us to sing. He has something lovely for us to think about.

I believe it's out of our darkest moments that God desires to bring forth a beautiful light...

Let's camp there; in the light of a good memory. We all have them. You may have to dig deep, but I guarantee that as you dig, you will find one. It may be vague, but it will be enough. God always makes sure that we have enough. He is our portion. He is truly, truly our father.

Perspective

I don't necessarily like to excercise but I'm thankful I have the legs to do it. I don't necessarily like to clean my house but I'm thankful for the amazing home I live in. I don't necessarily like to scrub the shower, but I'm thankful that I have one. I don't necessarily like to do my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, but I'm thankful I have the finances to buy groceries at all. I don't necessarily like putting said groceries away, but I'm thankful for a stocked pantry when it's done. I don't necessarily like to wash & dry my giant hair, but I'm thankful I have hair. I don't necessarily like it when my girls wake me up at night, but I'm thankful they know mom means safety. I don't necessarily like when my girls whine, but I'm thankful they have the ability to speak, and that I have the ability to hear them. I don't necessarily like getting gas in my car, but I'm thankful for the car and I'm thankful for the money to buy the gas. I don't necessarily like doing dishes but I'm thankful for running water.

These are the thoughts running through my head lately. For all the stuff we complain about doing, what if we looked at the good in it? Who enjoys doing chores? Well, sometimes I get in the zone and actually do enjoy it; when the music is going and I have ample time to put into cleaning. But then there's the other 99% of the time, he he. Really though, what if we flipped the script. Tossed the salad. Turned the pancake. Cracked the egg. Sliced the cake. Am I hungry? Probably.

But you get the picture. It's ok to admit we don't like doing something, but we do it anyway. That's just life! But my challenge to myself lately is to take the "it's just life" and live it big. So I'm flippin the script today, care to join me?

The word of His grace

I was reading the book of Acts this morning; a book so intense and yet one that I don't read from enough. We often get to chapter 4 or 5 and call it quits, but as you go further in Acts, there is tons, and I mean TONS to be learned.

I was reading in Chapter 20, Paul is saying his goodbyes to the Elders from the church in Ephesus as he is heading out on yet another mission. He sort of gives them a re-cap of what his life has been like there, as he has held nothing back in his ministry to the people. He is basically saying "hey, I've lived my life in front of you all; I have faced many trials and hardships and you all watched the way I walked through it, I AM NOT MOVED by any of it."

But what is so interesting to me is a warning that Paul leaves them with - he warns them that once he is out of the picture, wolves will come and will not spare them. He goes on to say that even amongst the group of them, men will rise up and begin speaking perverse things in an attempt to draw away people to follow them! Now remember, Paul is speaking to the Elders of the church. So these are men that you would look at in the natural and think no way, no way would these men try to draw us away from the good work that God is doing, no way would these men try to cause us to follow them, and not the Lord. But that's the warning, that even from among that group, there will be people that will try to cause division.

We see that very thing in operation all over churches today, people that rise up in an attempt to draw folks away from what God is doing, because they think they have the only "right" way. But I love what Paul says, after he gives them that intense warning, he even says he does it night and day through tears, that's how passionate he is about the church staying in unity - but I love Acts 20:12 where he says, "So now, brethren, I commend you to God and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified."

He warns them, yes, but then he leaves them in the hand of God, knowing that if they stay true to the 'word of His grace," that they will be just fine. And the same goes for us. If we stay true to the 'word of His grace,' we will be just fine. That's what builds us up, and that is what builds others up. If we stay connected to that precious grace, we will be a beacon of light and hope to a world that desperately needs Jesus. If we stay connected to that precious grace, we won't give the wolves an opportunity to lead us astray, we won't harken to a teaching that is not grace centered, we won't be moved by the trials and tribulations that come our way, because we know that there is a mightier hand that holds us up, that is centered on that precious 'word of His grace."

Smith Wiggelsworth said, "God's Son is placed in power over the power of the enemy; anybody who deals falsely with the Word of God nullifies the position of authority that Christ has given him over Satan."

Yikes. That's an intense statement. We have been given authority over Satan and any attempt he may throw at us to get us off track or to snatch us up like a wolf would do or to cause us to miss the mark. We have authority. But the moment we step outside the parameters of God's Word, we lose that position. We no longer have dominion! The moment we begin to put guilt on a person, the moment we allow a condemning word to flow out of our mouths, the moment we pass judgement on someone, that's the very moment we lose our position of authority. Why? Because the book of Romans tells me that "there is no condemnation for anyone who is in Christ Jesus." So to speak a word that is not centered around the "word of His grace," then look out, because it's going against what God is all about.

Of course we strive to live a righteous life, of course we are to encourage those around us to do the same, of course we are to live out scriptures that tell us to "walk as children of the light," (Eph.5:8) of course the Bible is our guide book as to how we should live our lives, "holy & acceptable to God." YES! Of course.

When we step outside of the center of Grace, we are walking in a very scary place. When we think we have the only "right" way to do things, it's a scary place. When we think that we somehow are superior to others, woah, look out, that's a scary place. When we heap rules & regulations on people, it's a scary place. When our words condemn, look out, it's a scary place. When we speak negatively about the Church as a whole, the Church that God absolutely loves, it's a scary place. You lose your position.

I want to encourage us all, the 2 of you that read this blog anyway, to heed Paul's warning. May we never step outside of the "word of His grace," in our lives. May everything we do flow out from the proper center. Sure, there is a time to help a fallen brother or sister, there is a time that God will use us to bring words of restoration to someone that may be living outside of God's plan for their lives; but when God gives those moments to us, they should always flow from the proper center. When all that we do flows from that precious 'word of His grace,' then our position never changes. We are able to stand on the God given authority of His Word for our lives. We are able to claim all the promises of God as a resounding "yes and Amen." I know I want that for my life. How about you?

The world can't contain it

John 21:25 is such a cool verse. It says, "And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Amen." I don't particularly have a thought about that verse off the top of my head, but I just read it and man, it's powerful. This is the last verse of the Gospels, before you get to the book of Acts where we get to watch the church begin to form. And it's because of this verse that the church took off! It's because of all the things that Jesus did, the things we know about and the "many other things He did" that we don't know about, that's what started the church. It's because people believed. And because we believe, we are the church. I love church. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I LOVE CHURCH! I have always loved it, ever since I became a Christian when I was a teenager. My world revolved around being at church. Not because I had to, but because I genuinely wanted to be there. It was always a safe place for me; a place where I felt accepted and a place that left me feeling better than I was when I entered the building. It literally makes me cringe when I hear people say negative statements about Church. Of course there are problems in every church, that's no surprise to anyone, but my goodness there are many churches that are doing some great things for the people and when I hear negativity about it, well it just upsets me. But that's another post for another time...or not. We believe. We believe because of what we know to be true from the Word of God. We believe that Jesus was born of a virgin. We believe that He lived a sinless life, doing miracles, changing peoples lives, delivering people, offering hope. We believe that He died on the cross, only to rise again on the 3rd day, to conquer death, Hell & the grave. We believe that He has prepared a place for us in Heaven, that where He is, we may also be. We believe. "I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written." Gosh that makes me smile. I have the biggest, cheesiest grin on my face right now. And no, it's not my awesome new coffee mug with the handle shaped like a Parrot that I got for $2.98 that is making me smile, although that does. It's that verse! It's just so.stinkin.cool. What else did He do? To me, what we know that He did is more than enough for me to believe. The things He did on this earth were nothing short of miraculous, it's enough for me to believe. It's enough to drive me through my day, with an attitude of thanks and praise. It's enough to take me into the house of the Lord on a Sunday to worship Him like they did in the book of Acts, because they believed. I believe. I know what the Bible says He did...and I know what He did for me. I know that I was born into a family that would face struggle, hardship, addictions & abuse. I know that as a result, the bitterness and anger inside of me only festered with age. I know that if I did not accept Jesus when I did, I know, I KNOW, that I would be a seriously messed up adult. And this I know, that if I were to write out every last thing that Jesus has done for me, be it large or small, the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. He has set my feet on a rock. He has quieted my anxious soul. He has made a way where there seemed to be no way. He has blessed me beyond measure in my life. He gave me a husband so handsome that I have separation anxiety when he is gone. He gave me kids that are so darn cute I could eat them for breakfast. He put me in a church that loves people so much it's contagious. He let's me live in a house so far above anything I could have ever asked for or imagined. I could go on and on and on and on...but the world can't contain it. The world can't contain it. Amen.

Look out Four year olds, Lily's on the scene

On May 7th, the most awesome Four year old was added to the rest of the Four year old kids around; all of them no doubt being dubbed "the most awesome Four year old" by their own parents. But clearly they are all wrong, because I have the most awesome Four year old! Lily Rae is such an amazing kid - and I don't use that word often as it's an incredibly over-used word. But she really is just that, amazing. So hang tight as I pen the usual birthday letter to my amazing youngest girl, Lily Rae. Lily, I just love that you have such a great personality! You are quirky as all get out. You have been dressing yourself since I can remember, and you don't really like to match. Most of the time, if I suggest something because it matches, you turn me down and say that you don't like to match. But then again, every so often you decide you do want to match. Hence the quirkiness that is you. You are attempting to grow your hair out as long as Rapunzels hair and you quickly shoot down the thought of a hair cut. Although you have bangs. And for that, I apologize. I chopped them so short a few years ago and hence, you are now stuck with them. We try to grow them out but you just let them hang in your face so it clearly is not working! You have a tender head and whine every time I comb your hair. Every time. You love your dad. Oh man, do you love that man! You demand snuggle time as often as you can. You eat his breakfast every morning with your own spoon. You have his breakfast dialed down you probably could make it yourself if you knew how to nuke oatmeal in the microwave. You often refer to him as "Handsome Daddy" or "Handsome one." (Excuse me, as you run in my room just now to report that sissy is labeling you a bad cuddler. Don't worry Lil, it's not true. You cuddle like nobody's business.) You have been going to Pre-School two days a week for a few months now and have grown to like it. You hate nap time, but you no longer cry for it so that's good. Miss Cindy is your teacher and you have grown quite fond of her. You cling to me at drop off still, but that's ok, so did your big sis when she went. You often tell me about your new best friend, but sadly you forget her name! I love your vocabulary! I love that you use the word "bummer," and "impressive," all in the correct way. You constantly have us laughing around here; always saying something so crazy and cute. It upsets you greatly to think about Jesus having to die on the cross. You will often randomly say, "poor Jesus. He had to die on that cross." But then you are happy again when you remind yourself that He is alive now, and that He died for us, and for Stockton. And then you think about Him protecting my Grandpa in Heaven. You are so tender. And yet, you are incredibly strong willed. It often poses a struggle, but I can't wait to see how that will plays out in the decisions you make as you grow older. Something I don't really want to think about, you getting older! You promised your dad you would not grow up and you are not doing very well at keeping your promise little Miss! You love big. You love your toys like they are members of the family. You love your stuffed Zebra (Zebby) as if she was real. Zebby was the best $7 I have ever spent. We love you Putter. I think we will always call you Putter. Putter, Putty, Putt Putt. For awhile there you actually thought that was your name. Although in recent weeks you have changed your name to Jasmine and Carly. But for today, you are my little Lily. Please stop growing. After all, you promised.

Saved

I'm sitting here on this dreary morning, cozy in my bed while the girls watch a little cartoons...Joei Kate is home from school with a sick tummy. So of course Lily feels the need to be sick as well since "we are not caring about her" like we are big sis. This plays out until dad brings donuts...then she perked right up. But then quickly became ill again once said donut was safely in her stomach.

Anyhow, I'm thinking about salvation this morning. If you look up the meaning of the word "salvation,"  it says, "the state of being protected from harm or risk."

Hmm. Indeed it is that. As Christians, we know salvation to be the day we are saved from the penalty of sin; the day we are guaranteed life eternal with Jesus in Heaven. Never again will there be a day that we won't exist. We will always be somewhere. Somewhere. I don't agree with Oprah on all the things she says but something I heard her say struck me interesting; she said, "we are all spiritual beings having a human experience." I thought that was really good. We will always be somewhere, living some kind of something. After my time is done living the human experience, I'm going to get to exist with Jesus! Wow. Oh that I may live out this human experience to the fullest potential...but that's another post for another time!

I am so thankful for the grace of God. The grace that draws people to belief in Him. The grace that I know beyond the shadow of a doubt welcomed my Grandpa into Heaven, regardless of the fact that Grandpa did not live his life for the Lord...but before he died, I know he came to faith in God. I know He believed. And because of that, I will one day see him again. So grateful for grace.

When I was 14 years old, I went on a trip to Mexico with the church we were going to at that time. My mom had since re-married a man that was a Christian, so we all started going to church. I was about 12 or 13 when that began; going to church that is. I didn't necessarily like church at the time, but I didn't not like it either. At that stage in life I was hanging out with friends and getting into things a girl my age ought not be getting into...my mom was none the wiser, as long as I went to church, she was happy.

So when a trip to Mexico was on the table, I was all for that! I remember driving on the church bus, staring out the window as we made our way through Tijuana. I recall feeling so hopeless as I stared at the poverty that presented itself outside of my little window. I wanted to help those wonderful people, but I had nothing to give them. I had nothing in me.

I honestly had no idea what I was in for, I thought it was a "fun" trip to Mexico. And it was fun. But what I didn't expect was salvation. I didn't expect it because I didn't even know I needed it.

By age 14, I was a mess of a kid. I had been so wounded by things in my childhood that the issues plaguing me were enough to send me down a very, very dark path...a path on which I believe I was already stepping into, one toe at a time. The choices I had been making up to that point were not wise, not for a young teenager. Heck, not for anyone!

I was steeped in hurt, pain, bitterness, anger, hatred, insecurity and fear. I was a mess. And that's putting it lightly.

I needed to be protected from harm or risk. I needed salvation.

The first night in Mexico we gathered for a service. There was preaching. I remember parts of the message that Coco Perez shared that night; he spoke out of Joel 2. But I remember salvation. I remember going to the altar that night to be protected from harm or risk. I remember going to that alter that night and surrendering my life to Jesus. I was saved! Gloriously saved!

I don't use the word "saved" often when referring to people accepting Christ in their hearts, but I should. Because when we accept Jesus, when we recognize the need for salvation, we are indeed being saved. We are being saved from a life of fear. We are being saved from a life of uncertainty. We are being saved from a life of hurt and of pain. We are being saved. Oh my goodness we are SAVED!

Sure we still face all the "junk" the world throws; but we are protected from harm or risk! Why? Because ultimately, our home is Heaven. In this life we will face trials of many kinds, but my goodness, we are just passing through. This is a stop on our journey, this thing called life. One day, I will face Jesus. I will look at Him with the same eyeballs I'm looking at this lap top with. I will look my Savior straight in the face...that is, if I can pull myself up off the ground. What a savior. He saved me.


I could go on and on...but today, I guess I'm just thankful to be saved.

My cool kids.

Lily's getting on her Rock n Roll outfit right now...watching the Fresh Beat band, since, according to her, they are "back in business!" Apparently they left for awhile. Her rock n roll outfit consists of a skirt, shirt and a jean jacket. She's channeling her inner 80's self I guess. Oh I wish you could hear her singing...oh now she's looking for Rock n Roll shoes. This ought to be interesting.

She will be 4 next month! I can't believe how quick they grow. My goodness this was just her a few days ago right?



Lily is a character, let me tell ya. It is never a dull moment with her! She's creative, loving, and absolutely hilarious! And que toys being thrown around her room now as she is moving from Rock n Roll to ballet.



I love that picture, Joei Kate holding Lily Rae for the first time! Look at Joei Kate's face, she is not quite sure what to do or how to react. She is so very cautious, she still is. That's her nature. I've been blessed with some great kids! Joei Kate (whom still is sticking to the whole "Kate" as her name at school, but she can be Joei at home business) is such a neat girl. She is nearing 8 years old, that's crazy to think about! It's fun watching her morph into an older kid. She's not a little babe anymore, she's my big girl now! Joei is very cautious, even still. She's a compassionate kid & very gentle natured. It's been cool watching her as she learns about life - the good, the bad & the ugly. Looking at life through her eyes is so fascinating.

Well I'm not real sure where this post came from, but there ya go, a little glimpse of my babies.

Ugly?

Our little family recently visited the Oakland Zoo; we had never been and wanted to take them to a zoo that was new to them. It was a really great zoo! Although Joei Kate was concerned about the lack of the Ostrich. I concur.

At any rate, they have a huge Bat exhibit! Needless to say, after looking at more bats than one person should see in their lifetime, I felt itchy. And scared. And like things were crawling on me. But I digress.

Fruit bats are uuuuuugly (said like the Hyena from The Lion King.) I mean, U.G.L.Y you aint got no alibi, you ugly. Hey hey, you ugly. Did I mention how ugly they are?

They just hang from the fence, upside down, wings wrapped around them all snuggly like; which is good cuz aint nobody else gonna snuggle a bat. Some of them would open their wings and they were massive! And veiny and gross. And ugly.

Once we moved past the ugliness (Ok, I never really moved past that) and my husband's extreme urge to shoot them, (yes, apparently a hanging fruit bat just screams to him "SHOOT ME NOW") I started to read about the fruit bat.

They have purpose. As ugly and freaky as they are, those suckers have purpose. They fly around, eating fruit and spitting seeds and parts of said fruit all over, thereby pollinating fields, and giving us fruit. They help forests, they help plants, they help us. We don't even realize how much we need the fruit bat to exist in our world, but we do.

I'll admit, my first instinct was to look past the exhibit, not to even pay attention to the creepy bat that my husband longed to shoot. But I was so intrigued by the ugly I had to look closer.

I often think the same thing can be said for people. Not the ugly part, because I don't believe anybody is ugly. I don't even use that word much, except when talking about bats. And spiders. And as I also discovered at the zoo, millipedes. But I don't say ugly much. It's not a word I care for.

That being said, like that fruit bat, we often look past people. We make a snap judgement on a person, based on their outward appearance, or our perception of them. Maybe they are different than us. Maybe they dress different than what we think works. Maybe their personality is the polar opposite of ours. Maybe they just don't fit in. Ohhhh. You expect to hear that last statement when in the midst of a group of teenagers right? "They just don't fit in."

Sadly it's not just amongst teenagers, it's everywhere. It's in our homes, in our schools, in our communities and sadly, in our churches. They just don't fit in. Tears come to my eyes as I type this because I've seen it happen all too much, and I'll admit that I've been guilty of it as well.

You ever been the one "that just didn't fit in?" I have. And it's ugly.

The fruit bat has purpose. How much more purpose do we have? If God created that fruit bat for a reason, than my goodness, what did He create us for? Oh if we even had but a glimpse of the greatness that resided in each individual person, can you imagine what this world could be? Greatness. Not ugly. Not creepy. Greatness.

So I learned a lesson that day at the Oakland zoo. Well, I learned a few actually. I learned that my handsome man really likes to shoot things. Thankfully, not people. Most the time.

I also learned that Lily will more than likely be the person that breaks into the zoo at night to free the animals - as she screamed "The camels were made for the desert, not the Zoo, that's why they are asleep!" We will wake up one day to Elephants in our backyard. It's inevitable.

And I learned that something that has caused me fear, and many others, has purpose. The fruit bat, creepy as it is, has purpose.

Maybe, just maybe, the fruit bat isn't so ugly after all.

Jumped

2 Chronicles 20:15-17
New King James Version (NKJV)
15 And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. 16 Tomorrow go down against them. They will surely come up by the Ascent of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the brook before the Wilderness of Jeruel. 17 You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.”

If anyone needs encouragement on this Monday morning, take strength today in knowing that the battle does not belong to you, the battle belongs to the Lord! That situation you are facing that seems insurmountable, it's not your battle, it's Gods. The marriage problems you face today, they belong to the Lord. The family problems you may face today, they belong to the Lord. Your financial struggles belong to the Lord. Your physical ailments, they are Gods fight. The anxiety that rules your mind, it belongs to the Lord. The depression that may try to plague you today, it belongs to God. It's not our battle to fight! We can't fight it. It's too much for us.

Have you ever been in a fight before? I have. Well, not really, I got beat up actually so you can't really call it a fight. I was 13 years old at the time and was walking home from a friends house and came upon a group of girls that proceeded to beat the ever lovin' daylights out of me! It was a very scary feeling, totally a helpless feeling actually. I wish I could say that I fought back with all that was in me, but I didn't. I'm pretty sure I just fell to the ground and let them pummel me until they had their fill, then I got up and hobbled home crying. I was just around the corner from my house so I didn't have far to hobble. And cry. Not my brightest memory to say the least!

I share that to say that fighting is not fun! Well, not that I would know, seeing as I didn't fight back. So I should say getting beat up is not fun. And yet, we allow ourselves to get beat up on a daily basis. We carry all these huge problems on our backs, we let them build up in our minds and become even bigger than they actually are! You ever done that? You play this thing up in your head to be so massive of an issue, and once you speak it out loud you realize the insanity of what's gone on in your head? Ok, maybe that's just me.

But we get beat up. The problem overwhelms us to the point that we can't see an answer anywhere on the horizon because our vision is so blurred from the beating.

I love how the scripture continues:
2 Chronicles 20:20-22 (NKJV)
20 So they rose early in the morning and went out into the Wilderness of Tekoa; and as they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Hear me, O Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem: Believe in the Lord your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper.” 21 And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the Lord, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying:

“Praise the Lord,
For His mercy endures forever.”

22 Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.

When they began to sing and to praise, the battle was won! That's the ticket folks! The battle is won in our praise. The battle is won when we stand up, square our shoulders and refuse to get pummeled! The battle is won when we hand the situation over to God, and begin to praise Him for who He is; how merciful He is to us. When we take that thing off the pedestal in our mind, giving it over to God, we are on the way to victory. Our praise seals the deal.

Because even if the problem does not right itself immediately, even if God's answer is not made ready in our preferred time frame, the victory is ours the moment we praise. The moment we take our eyes off the issue and put them onto God's goodness, we win. The devil has no place to play in our mind when we do that. And when we kick the devil out of his playground, HE HAS NO HOLD ANYMORE!

So today I encourage us all to sing, to shout, to praise God for all He has done in our lives thus far. When our focus is off the problem, the solution is being made ready.

And when you are walking home from your friends house, maybe just walk a little faster ;)

Interruptions

We have been a content family of four for nearly 4 years now & I see no change to our little world anytime soon. Of course, it's totally up to the Lord so I don't say that with full confidence or anything, just where we're at is all. God could interrupt our family any old time He wanted to, and we would be perfectly content with that as well.

Every now and again I like to see what the girls would think about God interrupting or family, so to speak. So at dinner tonight I posed the infamous question: "Would you girls want us to have another baby, a little brother or sister?"

Kate immediately responds with a "Not a little brother, they grow up to be drama!" Ok, dually noted. I'll remember that it's the boys that are dramatic the next time your room is colorful, not because of decoration but because of clothes that have fallen victim to the latest fashion crisis. Gotchya.

Lily decides that she would like one boy baby AND one girl baby because "it's not a lot, it's only two." Oooookkkk. Tell that to any mom with newborn twins. It's not a lot. It's only two.

Then we were discussing how daddy would love another girl, he does love having girls and has said numerous times he would like many more. And when I say many, I don't really know how many we are talking, but he would like many. I dare not ask.

Lily was not too keen on that as she said, "no he already loves us girls! He can't love another!"

Oh kids are fun. Some days I think I could handle more. Other days I thank God for giving me all I can handle.

It's always fun when God interrupts though, isn't it? Maybe it may not seem so fun at the time, depending on your interruption, but I love the promise given in Romans 8:28 - nothing we face will work against us. Everything we face will work for us. It has to. We love God, and that's His promise, to work all things for the good to those that love Him. So whatever interruptions you face today, perhaps they are not as cute as a sweet newborn babe, but no matter the interruption in life, you can be sure of one thing, it HAS to work for good. Somehow, someway, it has to work for good.