What's in a name?

Here is a picture of the 2 most important people here on earth to me! Being that yesterday was Fathers day, it seems an appropriate pic. Joei loves her dad. When he is out traveling for more than a day, she has serious withdrawals. I know she loves her mama, but she really, really digs her dad. I think it's great! He is a wonderful father...I don't tell him that enough. I've never seen a dad melt the way he does over Joei. I can hear it in his voice when he calls, especially if he has been gone awhile, his longing to just hang with her. They have their little routines & rituals they do! I am so glad that Joei has that, a father. She will not have to face the issues I had to face as a kid...then as a teen...and yes, even as an adult. I did not have a good father figure growing up. My father did more harm than he did good in that arena. And while I have long since forgiven my father for all the wrong, I still have been left with a hole that was meant to be filled by a dad.

I have shared before that I am a Christian. I accepted the Lord at the age of 14. The Bible tells us that God is our Father. He loves us in the way a father should love his children, but magnified a gazillion times of course! When we accept Him as Lord of our life, He looks at us through the blood of Jesus, the sacrifice made for us, and He sees us as a sweet & innocent child of His. How awesome is that?! Well, while I "knew" that and yes, I believed it as well, I still could not grasp it. I could not understand how I could call God my father. Because I know what God did for me. I know the "me" that I was before I met Him...and I can only imagine where my life was headed had I not made the choice to serve God. So to me, God has truly been my saving grace. But to call God a father, well, it seemed an insult to Him. How could I reconcile that He was a "father" to me, when the earthly fathers I have known have left me in such a barren place? Well, it was simple really. I just did not open my heart enough to see it. God is the ultimate father. My earthly dad's took the name for granted, they abused the name, mis-used it. Now I am able to say yes Lord, you are my Father. Thank you for filling that hole. Thank you for being my teacher, my confident, my protector...and my friend. So, what's in a name? I guess a whole lot.

This basically sums up Joei's attitude since returning from vacation! She wants what she wants, and she wants it now. Yep, that's my kid.

It's all about perspective...

I guess I say that often, perspective. Hmmm. How you view things, how you handle stress & the issues of life...it's all about perspective right? Well if that is the case, then why am I ever stressed? Why do I allow myself to get frazzled? I just got a true dose of "perspective" and I would like to share it with anyone that will listen!

A friend of ours passed away last week, it was very sudden, he was only 58. I did not know him, however my husband did, and really respected this man. The funeral was to be held over 3 hours away from where we live, which meant that we would have to stay the night. Poor me, I had so many things to do (please note sarcasm) that I did not want to go. Not out of dis-respect, but out of the fact that I have a toddler and see no real point for me to be there, being that she is not going to sit through a funeral. Not too mention it happened to be a super busy week, out of the ordinary. BUT, after I thought long and hard about my selfishness, I went. And I am glad I did.

I had met this man & his wife one time, and they were very sweet. My husband knows the family well, as he has worked with them often. He was a Pastor, a husband, a brother, a dad...and a friend. There were well over 1000 people there to honor this man. My heart was touched immediately as the funeral began, and during some music we were singing to the Lord, the wife lifted her hand heavenward, as if to say "it's you & me Lord, we are gonna get through this." She proceeded to officiate the entire funeral. What a woman. Truly.

We get to the grave site and I just had such an overwhelming sense of sorrow for this woman. I know she has hope that she will see him again, and I know she is trusting in the Lord like never before, but that still does not ease the pain of the "todays." I could not help to be overcome with emotion. As I watched her say goodbye to her husband of 35 years, suddenly I forgot about any "stress" in my own life. Nothing else matters. I still have my husband and daughter. We are healthy. We are blessed. Nothing else matters.

As we drove from the funeral, and since I have been home, all the other "stuff" seems so trivial to me. Yes, I still had the same tasks hanging over my head, the same obligations to adhere to...though all of a sudden, there was no stress attached to them. The usual Jen would be running around in a panic trying to get everything done but nope, not this time. The Lord used that funeral to show me something about myself. As shocking as it may be, it's not all about me! I guess, at the end of the day, it really is all about perspective.