Memories

I'm reading a great book at the moment that is really challenging me in quite a few areas of life. You ever read a book at just the right time, right when you needed to read it, so much so that everything in that book is like a light bulb? Well that is this book I'm into at the moment. Excuse me as my daughter runs in, having changed for the umpteenth time to go nowhere wondering if her shoe is on the wrong foot. And now she is changing shoes. Ok then...

So anyhow, I read yet another great thought the other day and decided to personalize it to myself. I wonder if you might like to do the same.

Philippians 4:8 is a pretty common verse, one many of us are familiar with, but my goodness many of us don't live it on a daily basis, myself included.

"Finally, my brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things."

There ya have it. If what my mind is set upon does not fall into the category above, it's not worthy of my time.

This book, "Made to Crave," deals with the emotional side of eating. It deals with much more, but at the core of the book is getting the reader back to a place of craving only God. When our hearts desire is the Lord, all else in life falls into place.

We all have issues. We all have had stuff happen to us along life's journey that has shaped us and made us who we are, be it a negative or a positive, we have all had experiences that have been engraved into our memories.

Often our minds go to those negative things that have happened and they camp there, bringing out all sorts of emotions and actions that we would rather do without. I believe that we need to let ourselves feel the emotion of the circumstance, we need to grieve that negative thing that caused a loss to our life, wether it be a physical loss or an emotional loss, still very powerful either way.

But I also believe that the Bible says, "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed." So there has to come a point where we move past the hurt; we recognize the issue for what it is, we grieve it, but then we hand it over to God and we don't look back. The Bible also says in Galatians that "it is for freedom that Christ set us free, no longer to be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

We are not to be slaves to the circumstances that have caused us pain. If we stay camped in that moment, we forego true freedom, and without even realizing it all of our choices and actions flow from a heart that is broken, stuck on an incident.

So that's where this great scripture in Philippians comes in. The author of "Made to Crave," took a negative circumstance in her life and dug around for the positive. It was hard to find, but she found it.

A negative circumstance in my life was growing up with an alcoholic father. As a result of that addiction, my home was full of hurt, pain, fear and mass chaos. For much of my life, the choices and actions I made came from a place of hurt. But then I met Jesus and slowly began to turn those things over, too where there is no longer a sting anymore. But if I'm not careful, my mind can still mull over the things that I saw or heard or felt or feared.

So while I often have thought of my Dad in a negative light, the same was said for the author of the book I'm loving at the moment, she chose to find a positive in her Dad, a healthy place that her mind could camp. So I'm going to do that too.

In all honesty, my last conversation with my dad before he passed away is a great memory for me, one that I hold dear and thank God for. It was a tremendously healing moment for me. But that was recent. If I have to dig deep into my childhood, I have two fond memories of my dad.

One was at a very, very young age, maybe 2 or 3. Kind of wild that I remember that far back, but it's only a glimpse. My dad was laying on his back playing airplane with me; the game where you put your belly on someones feet and they lift you up. I enjoyed that moment! Although, I do recall it ending in me throwing up on him...oops.

My other memory was a time that my dad allowed me to stay home from school one day. I'm surprised I even wanted to stay home with him to be honest, but for whatever reason, I did. He wore an apron while making spaghetti. I recall making a tent by placing a sheet over the table...and building towers with muffin liners.

Two good memories I have of my dad from an otherwise painful childhood. I don't have much remembrance of those memories, but that's ok, because I have them. And they remind me that my dad himself was not a bad person, it was the choices that he made that were bad that caused the pain. He was not bad. His choices were. Because a person that is truly evil would not play airplane with his little girl and not be angry after being vomited on. A person that was truly evil would not build towers out of cupcake liners in an attempt to create a normal day in his daughters otherwise abnormal world.

My dad was not an evil man. In spite of the other countless negative memories I have that may prove otherwise, these two memories allow my mind to camp in a positive place. And as I allow my mind to camp here, on these two vague memories, any hold of hurt or pain that tries to rise from the negative memories has no power anymore! If a hurtful thought comes to me, I can recall my little belly on my dad's feet. If the devil tries to bring up a shame filled moment again, I can picture a tower built out of flimsy little muffin liners. And then I'll remember that my dad really was good. His actions were not. Be he was. He was.

So I encourage you to do the same today. Together, let's press on towards a high calling in Christ Jesus. He has stuff for us to do. He has freedom for us to grab hold of. He has goals for us to meet. He has giants for us to conquer. He has a song for us to sing. He has something lovely for us to think about.

I believe it's out of our darkest moments that God desires to bring forth a beautiful light...

Let's camp there; in the light of a good memory. We all have them. You may have to dig deep, but I guarantee that as you dig, you will find one. It may be vague, but it will be enough. God always makes sure that we have enough. He is our portion. He is truly, truly our father.