Do you remember playing that "trust" game when you were a kid? You know, where one person stands in front of the other...and you are supposed to just fall backwards, trusting that they will catch you before you hit the ground? I remember. I was never very good at it. I did not trust whomever it was enough to catch me! I thought for sure I would smash the ground, bust my skull and that would be the end of life as I knew it! Uh, dramatic much? Well yes. But then again, I've never been one to trust easily. Growing up, people failed me. Yes, failure is human nature, so I guess it is to be expected. However, when it happens at a young age, well, it makes trusting difficult. I can say however, that I don't struggle with it anymore, not like I used to anyway. Trust is faith. You have to have faith in people, faith enough to put yourself out there, and just trust 'em. No I'm not saying to be naive about it, obviously I don't just take every Joe Schmo at his word. However, there are people in my life that God has put there, and it's up to me to step out in faith, and give 'em a chance.
The Bible says to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Ultimately, we can trust the Lord. Even when we don't understand our circumstances, when people fail us, when we have no direction, we can trust in the Lord. He promises to make our paths straight, to work everything out. BUT, we first have to trust. That does not necessarily come easy for everyone. And go figure, but God knew that! That's why His word also says that "He will never leave us nor forsake us."
People will fail us. Friends, family, politicians, neighbors, they will fail. But God remains the same. He does not change. That is what we can trust in.
So I want to encourage you (uh, if anyone actually reads this) to trust in the Lord with all your heart. Don't try to figure it out, or fix everything in your own strength, but lean on the Lord, he will work it all out for your good. If trust has been compromised, as we hear so much about these days, allow God to rebuild your faith in people. He can restore that which has been broken, after all, that's the business He is in!
Instead of allowing fear of people & the fear of them potentially failing us, why don't we just allow ourselves to "fall" back, to just trust that yeah, they might actually catch us.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
And we're off!
So I have finally succumed to the world of Blogger. I'm still fairly new to this whole internet thing as it is, so to have a blog, well heck, I guess Myspace is next then huh? I found it challenging to think of a name for this blog. I wanted to do something about the J's in my life...and then I remembered the nickname my Grandpa had for us grandkids; J's away. Anytime we would go anywhere, he would list all our names (as we all start with J's) and then at the end we all were to yell, "J's away!" So that's where the name is from...but of course, you can't use the ' so it just looks like js...but whatever, you get the gyst!
I loved my Grandpa. He was like a dad to me, really & truly. From the earliest of memories, I recall, well, him. All the things he did for me, all the places we went and how much he loved me. I was the first grand-kid so naturally, me and Grandpa, we were pals. He took me to breakfast every Sunday, without fail, until I was about 12 or so. He started doing that real young, and carried on as each grand-kid came of age. We would stay the night with Gram & Gramp on Saturdays and then have breakfast on Sunday. We did not have much in the way of material things as kids...Grandpa made sure we were taken care of though. From school clothes, to vacations, to food, he did it all. It's funny, I always thought he was rich! He was a letter carrier for the USPS, so no, he was not a wealthy man...but you would never have known it. Every vacation he had, he spent it with us. I took that for granted as a kid. Now, being an adult, I understand money & vacation time and how precious it is. But he wanted to be with us. He would take my brother & I "bummin around." Basically that meant that we jumped in the car, and we would drive until we decided to stop. We did that on a few different weekends. Of course, I'm sure Grandpa knew just where he was taking us though! Boy was that fun.
As I got older, I thought I was too cool to be Grandpa's lil girl so I did not go over there every weekend. Then once the "I'm too cool" stage passed, I had friends, school, work, I was busy...and again, did not go over every weekend. I wished I had though. I wish I never stopped that habit. Grandpa did not approve of everything I did. When I decided to go to Bible College, he was not happy about that. He told me it would be a waste of money & that I could never have a career off it, that I could never make a good living. I understand where he was coming from though, he was looking at my life from an earthly perspective. Myself, however, I looked at my life through a different perspective. I knew at a relatively young age, that I wanted to do something for God, that I was not interested in how much money I could make, but rather, what I could do for the Lord. Not that my life is anything grand, by any stretch of the imagination...but whatever I could do, I wanted to do it. Grandpa had not seen it that way. That would soon change.
I will never forget my last conversation with my bumpa (that is what I call him to this day, when I think of him.) It was Christmas Eve, 2000. I had gotten married a few months prior to that. Something wonderful happened at my wedding, involving Grandpa. We had asked our dear friend to share of the love of God in the middle of our ceremony. Our lives had been changed by it and we wanted everyone there to have a chance to hear about it. Our friend asked if anyone would like to dedicate their life to Christ...now I could not see who raised their hands, but a few did. Later, I learned that one of the hands that went up, was the hand of my bumpa. I did not believe it as my Grandpa had been rather harsh towards what I believed for most of my life. He never agreed with anything I said or did, pertaining to serving the Lord. Thank God for video, because I was able to see for myself, his wonderful, aged hand go up.
Anyway, back to Christmas. My husband & I had given him a Bible for Christmas, with his name on it, which I was kinda scared to give him, considering my past experience with him. But since our wedding, I thought I would give it a shot. I never mentioned to him that I saw him raise his hand, I did not want to embarras him, besides, it's a very personal matter. He was very thankful for the Bible, so appreciative. Phew!
That night, he needed to have some prescriptions filled at the local pharmacy so I offered to drive him. During our wait, he asked me some questions in regards to my father. Long story short, my father made my childhood awful, therefore my Grandpa picked up much, if not all, of his slack. At any rate, Grandpa asked me if some things were true, things that he had heard I said happened. I told him that yes, they were. But I also told him that I have forgiven my father for everything, that I hold nothing against him. My grandpa looked at me, stunned. I will never forget what he said next...he looked at me, with as shocked a look as anyone could have and said, "wow, then you really are like that man in that book you just gave me."
Talk about trying to hold back tears! I get watery just thinking of it now! When he said that, not 0nly did I realize that he fully understood what raising his hand meant at my wedding...but I realized the power of forgiveness. You see, I forgave my dad years ago. It took a long time and was a huge struggle, but I did it. I had to forgive, just so that I could live a healthy life. I guess I just never realized how much it can affect other people. My Grandpa was so impressed with forgiveness. I don't say that to toot my own horn, heck no. I say that to show what power there is when you release a person from your bitterness. When you take them out of the cage of your heart, and let them go, it not only free's you up, but it is a witness to other people of what forgiveness can do.
Well that conversation was so special to me, so very special...and it is & will be forever stamped on my heart. That was the last time I saw my bumpa. He died the following month. His funeral was on my birthday and my Grandma asked me to give the Eulogy. That was difficult, to say the least. But by God's grace, I did it. I reckon I was able to do it because I had the peace of knowing where he was, and who he was with. I did not have to wonder about what happened to him after he left this earth, just taking a little cat nap in his recliner. I don't have to wonder if he sat in purgatory or if he just hovered around above his body. No. I know that his last breath here was his first breath in heaven. I'm so thankful to God for his grace, for his mercy. That even at the tail end of a life, a life hardened to God, mercy was still available.
So to Grandpa I say... " J's Away!"
I loved my Grandpa. He was like a dad to me, really & truly. From the earliest of memories, I recall, well, him. All the things he did for me, all the places we went and how much he loved me. I was the first grand-kid so naturally, me and Grandpa, we were pals. He took me to breakfast every Sunday, without fail, until I was about 12 or so. He started doing that real young, and carried on as each grand-kid came of age. We would stay the night with Gram & Gramp on Saturdays and then have breakfast on Sunday. We did not have much in the way of material things as kids...Grandpa made sure we were taken care of though. From school clothes, to vacations, to food, he did it all. It's funny, I always thought he was rich! He was a letter carrier for the USPS, so no, he was not a wealthy man...but you would never have known it. Every vacation he had, he spent it with us. I took that for granted as a kid. Now, being an adult, I understand money & vacation time and how precious it is. But he wanted to be with us. He would take my brother & I "bummin around." Basically that meant that we jumped in the car, and we would drive until we decided to stop. We did that on a few different weekends. Of course, I'm sure Grandpa knew just where he was taking us though! Boy was that fun.
As I got older, I thought I was too cool to be Grandpa's lil girl so I did not go over there every weekend. Then once the "I'm too cool" stage passed, I had friends, school, work, I was busy...and again, did not go over every weekend. I wished I had though. I wish I never stopped that habit. Grandpa did not approve of everything I did. When I decided to go to Bible College, he was not happy about that. He told me it would be a waste of money & that I could never have a career off it, that I could never make a good living. I understand where he was coming from though, he was looking at my life from an earthly perspective. Myself, however, I looked at my life through a different perspective. I knew at a relatively young age, that I wanted to do something for God, that I was not interested in how much money I could make, but rather, what I could do for the Lord. Not that my life is anything grand, by any stretch of the imagination...but whatever I could do, I wanted to do it. Grandpa had not seen it that way. That would soon change.
I will never forget my last conversation with my bumpa (that is what I call him to this day, when I think of him.) It was Christmas Eve, 2000. I had gotten married a few months prior to that. Something wonderful happened at my wedding, involving Grandpa. We had asked our dear friend to share of the love of God in the middle of our ceremony. Our lives had been changed by it and we wanted everyone there to have a chance to hear about it. Our friend asked if anyone would like to dedicate their life to Christ...now I could not see who raised their hands, but a few did. Later, I learned that one of the hands that went up, was the hand of my bumpa. I did not believe it as my Grandpa had been rather harsh towards what I believed for most of my life. He never agreed with anything I said or did, pertaining to serving the Lord. Thank God for video, because I was able to see for myself, his wonderful, aged hand go up.
Anyway, back to Christmas. My husband & I had given him a Bible for Christmas, with his name on it, which I was kinda scared to give him, considering my past experience with him. But since our wedding, I thought I would give it a shot. I never mentioned to him that I saw him raise his hand, I did not want to embarras him, besides, it's a very personal matter. He was very thankful for the Bible, so appreciative. Phew!
That night, he needed to have some prescriptions filled at the local pharmacy so I offered to drive him. During our wait, he asked me some questions in regards to my father. Long story short, my father made my childhood awful, therefore my Grandpa picked up much, if not all, of his slack. At any rate, Grandpa asked me if some things were true, things that he had heard I said happened. I told him that yes, they were. But I also told him that I have forgiven my father for everything, that I hold nothing against him. My grandpa looked at me, stunned. I will never forget what he said next...he looked at me, with as shocked a look as anyone could have and said, "wow, then you really are like that man in that book you just gave me."
Talk about trying to hold back tears! I get watery just thinking of it now! When he said that, not 0nly did I realize that he fully understood what raising his hand meant at my wedding...but I realized the power of forgiveness. You see, I forgave my dad years ago. It took a long time and was a huge struggle, but I did it. I had to forgive, just so that I could live a healthy life. I guess I just never realized how much it can affect other people. My Grandpa was so impressed with forgiveness. I don't say that to toot my own horn, heck no. I say that to show what power there is when you release a person from your bitterness. When you take them out of the cage of your heart, and let them go, it not only free's you up, but it is a witness to other people of what forgiveness can do.
Well that conversation was so special to me, so very special...and it is & will be forever stamped on my heart. That was the last time I saw my bumpa. He died the following month. His funeral was on my birthday and my Grandma asked me to give the Eulogy. That was difficult, to say the least. But by God's grace, I did it. I reckon I was able to do it because I had the peace of knowing where he was, and who he was with. I did not have to wonder about what happened to him after he left this earth, just taking a little cat nap in his recliner. I don't have to wonder if he sat in purgatory or if he just hovered around above his body. No. I know that his last breath here was his first breath in heaven. I'm so thankful to God for his grace, for his mercy. That even at the tail end of a life, a life hardened to God, mercy was still available.
So to Grandpa I say... " J's Away!"
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