I like the buiful day.

Lily is such a funny little kid, like, really really funny. She has this knack for re-enacting stuff she says and does. If she had a moment of crying, she will later tell me all about how she cried and proceed to fake cry, for dramatic effect of course! She is just hilarious!

Tonight, we were leaving church in the dark, and come to find out, she is not a fan of the dark. We are not out much at dark so I guess that's probably why, but nonetheless, not a fan. She said, in the most whiny voice she could muster, "I not like the dok, I like the buiful day."

Most of us would agree with ya Lil! We like the beautiful day too! Although, I actually quite enjoy driving at night for some reason, I must have the eyesight of a gazelle. Or a wolf. Or, whatever the heck animal is known for keen eyesight. Ah but I digress.

We really don't like the dark, and yet, so often, that's exactly where we find ourselves. The dark. Life takes us through different phases and stages, some dark, some light, some gray, and some, well, some are just beautiful! Oh how we long for the beautiful days. When your bills are paid. When everybody is healthy. When you feel you have a purpose in this life. That is beautiful.

But what about the dark days. When you can't pay your bills, let alone buy something you just plain want. Or when you are sick in your body, or a loved one is battling an illness. When you feel like you have no purpose in this life. What then?

Lamentations 3:22-24 says:

22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”

Oh I love that. I LOVE that. I have hope. I have a hope that God will provide my every need. I have a hope that God has the power to touch a weary body. I have a hope that God can bring a peace that passes all understanding to every situation! I have a hope that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, plans of good and not of evil, plans to prosper me and give me a hope and a bright future!

God is our portion. Period. He is all we need. He KNOWS all we need. That's how you make the dark days beautiful. There is beauty when you cry out to a beautiful God...in the dark. Just because it's dark does not mean God is absent. I'm going to venture to say He is all the more near to you in that dark time. Why? Because you are drawing nearer to Him. And the Bible says that if we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. That my friends, is beauty at it's fullest. The creator of Heaven and Earth, the amazing, amazing redeemer, gets down in the midst of our darkness and begins to shed His glorious light. It may be slow. It may take a real long time, but if we stay near to Him, the light will eventually begin to shine. You may notice a tiny little sliver of victory...that's the light. It's comin. It's comin. It's comin!!! And when it does, it's nothing short of beautiful.

Yes, we like it too Lily. We like it too.

Sweet Conversion

Do you remember where you were when you accepted Jesus into your heart? Maybe you have yet to pray that prayer, the prayer that allows Jesus to be Lord of your life. Perhaps you have never been given that opportunity. It's so simple to do, so simple that my little Joei Kate has Jesus in her heart. I love that! I love how simple it really is. Unfortunately, Religion has complicated salvation. Religion makes us believe that we have to do x,y,z before Jesus will accept us. Thank you Lord, that is not the case. We simply just ask. Just ask.

I remember where I was. I was 14 years old, it was the summer before I entered high school. I was a mess of a teenager, let me tell ya. I carried so much hurt, bitterness and insecurity, that I could hardly even function right. Sure, I got by. But I was so riddled with insecurity and pain, masking it all the way.

I was invited to go on a church trip to Mexico. I thought it sounded like fun, get away from everyone, sign me up! I didn't know there was going to be preaching at night, and quite honestly, I don't remember any other service during that trip, except for the first night. That night, Coco Perez was preaching. He was using the text from the book of Joel, I will never forget it. He put out the call, that sweet simple call that has long been too complicated for people, the call to receive Jesus. And I did just that. I knew I needed something. I knew I needed something.

My life changed in an instant that night. I really mean that. The peace of God came over me, and I was changed. The pain began to release...Sure, I struggled with stuff, and of course had to face tons of obstacles, and still do, but I have tried my hardest to never quit running the race. All because of the simplicity of the gospel. It's so simple. And yet, I gained so much by accepting that simplicity. Thank you Jesus.

This Sunday mornings message has me thinking about this, Joey is preaching about his thankfulness for the Cross. I'm so thankful too.

That, and this morning I was reading about Saul's Conversion in the book of Acts. That is SO fascinating to me. He was a man that absolutely hated anything to do with Jesus. A persecutor of Christians. Just an all around bad egg. But that all changed when he had an experience with that sweet simplicity. Ahhhh Jesus.

I love Acts 9:15 because here the Lord tells Ananias that "This man (Saul) is my chosen instrument..."

Wow. An outwardly evil man. A man nobody would except that the Lord would use in such a dramatic way. But Saul, also called Paul, indeed was used.

I also love the verse in Corinthians (1:27) that says "God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise."

It still amazes me that the Lord would take a messed up, broken little girl like myself, and use me to do anything at all. I'm so thankful, this November, for the cross. I may not have confounded anyone just yet, but don't count me out! It aint over...

I'm so thankful for that sweet simplicity. Thank you Jesus.

Do you remember?

Leah & Rachel

Tonight Joei (Kate, or whoever she is at the moment...) and I read the story of Rachel & Leah. I love how this particular kids Bible reads though, it paints the story in such an easy way that I grasp it better! Oh wait, I mean my 6 year old can grasp it better...riiiiight.

Anyway, the story of Rachel and Leah starts in Genesis 29. It's such a gut-wrenching story to me. Here you have two sisters, Rachel and Leah. Apparently, judging from scripture, Rachel was very beautiful whereas Leah did not have the outward appearance that Rachel held. The kids Bible I read to Joei was painting Rachel as the popular girl, the one everybody always liked...the one that got picked first. Leah, on the other hand, was the one picked last. So in comes Jacob, of course he falls in love with Rachel. Her father says he can marry Rachel once he works for 7 years for her, Jacob complies, only to be tricked on his wedding night into marrying Leah. Father says he can really really have Rachel, in another 7 years. Jacob complies, and finally gets the girl.

I don't know what guts me more about this story: that Leah already feels the stigma of being deemed the "ugly" one or that she actually has to marry a man, knowing full well that man does not love her, that he loves her sister, that she is considered second best to her. Or that she has to continue in a marriage with a man who does not find her attractive, at all. Or that all the other women in the village talk about Leah behind her back, or perhaps they are flat mean and do it to her face. Or is it the tension between two sisters that guts me? Or is it the fact that Leah tried so hard to gain Jacob's affection by giving him child after child after child. Or. Or. Or. Rejection. Pain. Hurt. Ugly.

I would love to sit down and talk with Leah. I would love to ask her what thought process finally brought her to child number four. It's interesting to me that she named that child Judah, saying "this time I will praise the Lord." And that was that. The battle for Jacob's affection continued between the two women, but I wonder what Leah's heart must have felt when she finally said, yep, it's time to praise the Lord. I wonder, did Leah finally realize the beauty that was within her? Did she finally begin to see that she had value, regardless of her outward appearance? Did she finally grow weary of trying to reach a man that never had a heart of joy for her?

We have all felt like Leah at one point or another, more often then not I'd say. My own personal struggle in the area of self-image has been quite a journey...one that continues daily, but thankfully a journey that God has been so faithful to see me through. But that's a story for a different day. Or night actually. I fear my eyes shall cross if I type much more!

My favorite scripture right now is Psalm 45:11, "The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

The word enthralled means "to be filled with wonder and delight." Imagine that! God, all knowing, all powerful, gracious, merciful, provider, deliverer, comforter, protector...GOD, He looks at me and is filled with wonder and delight. No matter what. Regardless of how I feel about it. Regardless of what other people feel about me. God is enthralled with me! The same God that was filled with wonder and delight when He looked at precious Leah is the same God that looks at you & me today and finds us pretty darn awesome.

Leah spent so much time fighting for Jacob to notice her. She tried everything in her power to cause his eyes to turn towards her. All the while God was gently whispering to her soul "I'm enthralled with you Leah. I think you are beautiful. I think you are pretty darn awesome."

That same God whispers to us, His precious daughters, that very same thing today. You are beautiful. You are precious to me. You bring me joy. You bring me delight. I am enthralled with you. With YOU.

The Devil made me do it

Joei was just sharing with me what she learned today in Sunday School; they apparently are learning about "The fruit of the Spirit." So she told me a story about giving, and how you feel when you do and so on and so forth. Then she said, "You remember when me and Jaden used to be selfish? I'm glad we aren't anymore. I think that was just the devil that made us do that."

So it looks like Joei and Jaden are free from being selfish! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Wow, to be free at 5. My goodness, the world is their oyster.(Sarcasm noted of course!)

If life were that simple eh? If freedom only came that quick...ah but it does. Sometimes. And sometimes it's a process. A long, grueling process. We all have junk. We all have stuff. We all have issues. Some of us have more junk than others. And I don't mean junk in yo trunk. Although I have plenty of that junk. But I digress!

The Bible tells us in Galatians that it was for Freedom that Christ set us free, that we are not to be burdened AGAIN by a yoke of slavery. I find the word "again" so interesting. When we open ourselves up to any kind of sin, it's tough to break free from it. I love how the Bible describes it as "entangling." So true. But at the same time, Christ died so we could have freedom from that. Is the freedom there the moment you receive Christ? Absolutely. But then there is that word "again." There must be a reason for that word being in that particular verse right? I imagine it applies to those that are set free from sin, those that receive that initial freedom when they accept Christ, but then AGAIN, they walk back into that sin, just as quickly as they walked out of it.

Sin is an interesting word. There are loads of definitions of Sin. But I've always heard it to mean "missing the mark." I like that. Anything that draws us away from God, it's sin. Anything that causes us to not be the best version of ourselves that we can be, it's sin. Plain and simple. We don't like to say the word sin much, because it causes people to shut you out, we don't like to hear that word. But I loved something that Joey said today in church, he was talking about it being God's kindness that leads us to repentance. And that's so true. God is so kind. So loving. He wants us to have the best life possible, so He leads us to repentance, He leads us to freedom. Again. And again. And again.

The Lord never gives up on us. The Bible says that He is kind and compassionate; that He is slow to anger and rich in love. He is so rich in Love. The Bible gives us a guide book to live by; standards that are purely for our benefit. The Bible standards are not given so that a particular church, denomination or Pastor can tell us what to do, they are given for us to live our best life possible. It's up to the Lord to show you what to do with your life. It's up to Him to guide and direct you. It's up to Him to speak to us in that still small voice, to show us a certain area in our lives that perhaps is prohibiting us from being the best we can be. It's not up to man to do that. Man can't offer freedom. But Christ can. Christ did. And He will continue to do it. He was human once. He knows how easily the devil tries to trip us up, to make us miss the mark that God has intended for us.

I love the Grace of God. I can't say enough about it. It is so heavy on my heart these days, in a good way of course! Unfortunately, the church in general, has such a stereotype about it. That the church hates sinners and that it's just a bunch of hypocrites and that you have to be x,y,z (you fill in the blank) to fit in. When I hear things like that, it makes me sad. Seriously, seriously sad. Because their are wonderful churches, churches that operate under the banner of Grace. That all are welcome in the house of God, no matter where you are from, no matter what you have done. Perhaps my heart is so drawn to grace since we now Pastor a church and I see people that just need the love of Jesus, not a list of rules. Or perhaps I'm just at a place in life that has me so doggone thankful for His grace. Whatever the reason, I am thankful for God's grace. I'm also thankful for His gentle leading in my life. I'm thankful for His great love, His great mercy. I'm thankful for His provision, for His compassion. But today, I'm thankful for His freedom. The freedom that He gave me 19 years ago when I accepted Him...and the freedom that He has continued to give me. Again. And again. And again.

Good Friday

I will be honest, I'm not sure why today is called Good Friday. I've done a bit of reading on the subject, but can't find a concrete answer.

What I do know is this, Jesus did die on the cross, for me. It does not matter what day of the week it took place, not to me anyway. Nor does it matter what time of year it was, what the weather was like, who was there. Not to me. There are only two things that matter:

1. That He went to the cross, for me.

2. That He rose from the dead, for me.

For me. Ya, for you to. But the fact that He did it for me, that blows my mind.

I am weak. But He did it for me.
I am insecure. But He did it for me.
I give way to worry, doubt & fear. But He did it for me.
I am not perfect. But He did it for me.
I was on a road marked for destruction. But He did it for me.
I was fatherless. But He did it for me.
I was lost. But He did it for me.
I was alone. But He did it for me.
I was shamed. But He did it for me.

Remembering what the Lord did on that cross, ya, it was good.

I am strong. Because He did it for me.
I am the Righteousness in Christ. Because He did it for me.
I have the peace that passes all understanding. Because He did it for me.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Because He did it for me.
I have been given a new road map. Because He did it for me.
I have the Almighty God for my dad. Because He did it for me.
I am found. Because He did it for me.
I will never be left. Because He did it for me.
I am clothed with strength and dignity. Because He did it for me.

He did it for you to. But today, on this Good Friday, I'm thinking about myself. Because He did it for me.

Where's my suitcase?

Joei & I have been talking a lot about what the meaning of Easter is, that it's much more than just a bunny rabbit. So we were talking about how amazing God is, that not even death could keep Him down; referencing the difference between when people here die and how that's it...but when Jesus died, that wasn't the way it stayed. Now mind you, Joei is extremely inquisitive. She asks questions that seriously make me have to think long and hard for the right answer. She is going to be a researcher before she dives into anything, that I can already tell. So she says to me, "I thought that when people die here they live in Heaven?" I explained that yes, that is true, she was concerned with the time frame of it all! So I talked about Joey's granny, whom recently passed, sharing about how once she died here, she immediately was alive in Heaven. And in the blink of an eye she left her adult body and returned to her 5 year old self and said, "but how did she pack her stuff?"

To Joei, the thought of Heaven without toys is boring, her words. Boring. Ah sweet Joei, it's anything but that. Granted I've never been so who knows, maybe there are toys there for kids. I'm going to bet that there is. And I'm also going to bet that Jesus rolls on the grass with all the kids and plays with their toys. Because the kind of Jesus that I love, the Jesus that saved me from the muck and mire of my life, that kind of Jesus would do something like that. He would get down and play with the kids. I'm just going to bet...

Shut up!

That's mean to say right? We teach our kids not to say the phrase, "Shut-up." We use, "hush," or "be quiet," or "shhhhhh." Sometimes though, we need to shut up. Shut the yapper, quit saying negative things about ourselves...quit saying negative things about others. And for sure, quit saying things that are not true. We just need to shut up!

I'm loving the Bible in such a new way these days, (hows that for a transition, "shut up" to "loving the Bible!") Really though, it's coming alive to me so much lately. The relevancy of the Bible amazes me, how it's living and active in my life today, just as much as it was living and active in the lives of those hundreds of years past. Amazing.

Anyway, this verse is so alive to me at the moment. Isaiah 54:17 " No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD.

That is our heritage, simply for serving the Lord! We are made righteous through Jesus, therefore He gives us the authority to shut the mouths of our accuser(s.) In essence, we can tell them to "shut up." Rude? Maybe. Sometimes necessary? Absolutely.

Win souls

The following verse jumped out at me today, ok not literally, because well, that would be plain freaky, but you know what I mean.

Proverbs 11:30 says, "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise."

Isn't that the crux of the Christian faith? This verse could be the theme of any church, group or person. And yet, I think we get sidetracked on everything else. Yes, the "everything elses" of life are so important, but what about the good old fashioned basic Christian walk.

This verse may mean something totally different to me than to another person but how I take it is this: Our life is intended to produce fruit, fruit that will last. That is a great sign that we are doing something right! When the fruit of our life is multiplying, when it is ripe for the harvest, something is working right.

Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

When we operate by those guidelines in life, or if you are like me, we strive to operate by those guidelines, (because Lord knows I often am the exact opposite of that verse,) the fruit that we will reap is life! And by life, that means people will be drawn to the Lord through us and in turn, we win souls. Ah, I love that!

It really is so simple to be a Christian, I wish folks did not complicate it so. Jesus loves us. Simple. Living your life for the Lord is so much better than anything else out there, so much sweeter. Simple.

Matthew 22:37-39 says, "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

Simple. Love God, love people. Win souls.