Join the Club!

The devil is slimy. I know it's not proper punctuation to write his name with a lowercase d, but it's always bugged me to capitalize it! He does not deserve it. So lowercase d it is.

That old filthy serpent likes to do all he can to throw us off the intended path that God has for us; anything he can do to sidetrack us, he will do. And it does not always appear to be him, often times our distractions are so subtle, happening over time, that before you know it, you find yourself in a place you never intended to be - moving further away from where God has called you to be - or shying away from using the gifts that God has given you to use - or worst of all, doubting that God loves you. The devil will even work through well meaning people to thwart you; remember the scripture that says "we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities..." So rest assured, when you are discouraged by a person, either their actions or what have you, you gotta know that it's not them, it's the principality working behind them. Sure, they could have bad intentions toward you and actually be glad at your demise. Run from those people. But then there are times when the devil will even use someone you would never, ever expect!

I'll give you an example.

I have different women that I like to follow on Instagram and such, women that inspire me to reach to a higher level in my walk with Christ. I love to see what they are doing, be it a Conference they are speaking at or just a random picture or perhaps sharing an encouraging thought. I learn a lot from ladies that I'll never have the chance to know, but thanks to social media, I can feel like I do.

Well, without even realizing the subtle move of the devil, I found myself having the following thought in my head one day after seeing something posted by one of these amazing women: "you are nothing in the Kingdom of God."

Now, I know that's not true. My heart absolutely knows that God has a call on my life and I believe I'm currently doing my best to live that call out to the fullest. But that's the subtle way the devil moves...after that thought came in my mind, I didn't reject it. I didn't rebuke the devil, I didn't encourage myself in the Lord, as I should have. No. I let the thought stay. I didn't meditate on it or anything, but I didn't disregard it either.

And so it sits. And grows. Until, like mold grows on a rotting object, other negative thoughts begin to spring board off the initial thought, and you find yourself in a very negative thought pattern. All lies. All things that go against what the Word of God says about you! Oh he is subtle. That filthy devil.

Thank God for His great mercy, His great kindness, His great love - that while the devil works his subtle moves, God comes in at just the right time with His might and His power and peels back the veil, allowing you for a moment to actually see the subtly in action! Thank you Jesus for your flashlight.

Mine came on Wednesday night at church. Joey said something that absolutely stuck in my heart, revealing to me the subtly of satan that I've allowed to settle in my heart. He said, "It's my faithfulness that makes me important to God." The whole Word that Joey shared that night encouraged me to the fullest, well, minus his embarrassing comment that may or may not have referred to, um...never mind.

My faithfulness is what makes me important to God. Now of course we know that we have to do nothing to be important to Him, we already are important as His Children, we know that. But this particular statement was just what I needed to have highlighted to me that night, my faithfulness is what matters! It does not matter that I'm not out doing what women I admire are doing, I'm doing what God has me doing, and I'm trying to do it with all the faithfulness I possibly can. I can't walk the walk that other women are walking, I don't have the grace for their walk. I can't imagine the struggles they face and obstacles and challenges that come against them as they strive towards the call God has on their life, I can only live out my call. And my call is great in the Kingdom of God. And so is yours.

So today, let me leave you with a scripture that encouraged me this morning and brings tears to my eyes right now:

1 Peter 2:9-10 says, "But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 10 “Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy.”

So much in this to grab hold of for your life today, and for mine. But I love "Once you had no identity as a people, now you are God's people."

There ya go. Once upon a time, that subtle thought that ran through my head was true, I was nothing in the Kingdom of God. Because I didn't know Jesus, and I didn't know the Kingdom I was missing out on. But ever since the crazy age of 14 years old when I accepted Christ, I've been something in the Kingdom of God! I may be a work in progress, I may miss the mark a lot, a whole lot - I may not be anywhere near I should be or will be, but one thing is for sure, He called me out of darkness into His wonderful light! Oh man!! Little old me. He called me. And He has gifted me. And yes, I am something in the Kingdom of God. I'm a whole lot of something. And so are you.

So no matter where you are in life today, if Jesus is Lord of your heart and soul, then rest in the fact that you absolutely do matter in God's great Kingdom! You have something to do for Him, something that God has tailor made just for you to do. Feel insignificant? Join the club. Feel incapable? Join the club. It's a great club to belong to though. It's a club full of people that God says He chose! It's a club full of people that are royal, that are holy, that belong to God. I'm down with this club. Join me, will ya?

A 5 year old Sargent

You ever need a little motivation to do something that you really don't want to do? If so, you can borrow my 5 year old, she's good for it.

Yesterday, I was talking out loud (something I do ALL the time...) and Lily chimed in with her response to said out loud talking. I was saying how I just did not feel like getting on the treadmill, I wasn't sure that I had the energy to knock it out. She said, "yes you do, you just have to believe in yourself!"

Well, with a challenge like that from a mini person, what else can you do but tackle the thing you really don't want to do. So it was off to the treadmill I went.

I thought I'd share my motivating 5 year old with you all today; "YES YOU CAN! YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!" Whatever you are facing today, know that you CAN do it.

1 John 5:4 says, "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith."

Did you know that you are an overcomer? I forget that. A lot. I'm an overcomer. I'm born of God, I'm made in the image of the creator of this entire universe. He created everything from the Sun, Moon & Stars down to the gnats that drive me absolutely insane. He took such phenomenal detail in everything that He created, so surely He would not do any less when it came to breathing life into little old me. I am born of God. So I'm an overcomer. And so are you.

Whatever difficulty lies in your path today is but a mere vapor in the scheme of this grand existence. And friends, your existence is indeed just that, it's grand. There is something so wonderful for you to do; and could it be that the difficulty in your path is simply the stepping stone to that wonderful grandiosity you have been called to? God's good like that, He takes the hardships that we face and puts a "God Spin" on it, turning it into something good. Something grand.

You can do it. You just have to believe in yourself.

If God can breath life into trees, flowers, animals and at His best humans (although perhaps we'd debate this one, depending on the day we've had,) then we must know that He has given us the tools we need to succeed through the trial. He gave every animal the tools needed to survive, what's different with us? He has given every plant, every flower, the soil, the water, the "tools" needed for them to survive, what's different with us? He says in His Word that He cares for the sparrow, HOW MUCH MORE FOR US!

If animals rely on instinct to succeed, why can't we simply rely on our faithful Creator to give us all things for success? I'll tell ya why, we don't believe. We don't believe we are worth it. We don't believe that we are over comers. We don't think we can conquer that problem because it's just plain too big for us to handle. And so we cower back and let the problem determine our outcome. Uh-oh, there it is. We let the problem determine our destiny. We cave like a cheap deck of cards, throwing in the towel before it ever had a chance to get dirty.

You can do it. You just have to believe in yourself!

The scripture says if you are born of God, you are an over comer. Period. It does not list conditions to meet prior to success being yours; no. if you love Him, you are already an over comer. Why? It's part 2 of the scripture, "the victory that's overcome the world, our faith." There it is, faith. Believe! Simply believe. Believe that you're an overcomer, and you will be. Once you believe that with all your heart and soul, nothing can stop you from conquering that problem! There's nothing quite like going into a battle with the confidence that you've already won!

While I was running on said treadmill I was avoiding, Lily looked at me and said, no, she actually hollered, "RUN LIKE YA MEAN IT!" Apparently I was not running to my maximum capacity, sheesh kid, give a lady a break, I AM your mother after all!

So, if you need a Drill Sargent, I mean, if you need encouragement, take it from Lily. You can do it, believe in yourself and don't forget the last part - run like ya mean it. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart. After all, you already have overcome simply by your birthright.

Now excuse me while I find Lily a whistle...

Just keep singing!

My oldest daughter is 9, she'll be turning 10 in August; I will have a kid in the double digit age! Yikes. She is such a sweet girl, full of personality too, she seriously makes us laugh. That being said, her humor apparently only goes so far as she is embarrassed of my antics! I like to sing, a lot. Now I may not sing good, but I love to sing. I sing proper songs but I also sing random, made up songs. And don't get me started on Disney. I lose all inhibition when Joei Kate starts to play the "Frozen" soundtrack. On my bucket list is to be a voice over in a Disney film so I can't be held responsible for what happens when I hear music from a Disney film, it's just in me. Sorry kid.

Well, I often like to perform said antics when dropping the girls off at school, purely to harass my pre-tween daughter. I know, it sounds mean, and I stop quickly but I have to at least get a song out, or a random dance, just to see her pull me close and pretend to have something important to tell me for fear that I'll continue.

So this morning I was dropping her off at school and I began to process a great analogy the Lord gave me! Which, apparently that embarrasses her too! Sheesh, I can't win with this kid. But nonetheless, the Lord gave me a thought as we walked in the courtyard of her school. It was really foggy this morning; they do flag salute outside so Joei Kate said, "I bet we won't do flag salute outside since we can't see it!" To which I replied, "You'll be able to see it as you get closer, that's how it is in the fog. You can't see the object from a distance, but as you get closer, it becomes clearer."

As I sit down and begin to process this thought, the scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:12 comes to mind: "Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."

Another translation says, "Now we see things dimly," and that's a great way to think of this life as well. We see things dimly, we see things imperfectly, every.single.day.

I like to know what's ahead, don't you? I like to know how that problem will be solved, I like to know what's going to happen for my loved ones future, I want to know exactly how point A is going to get to point B. In other words, I don't like the fog. I don't like to aim towards something I can't see! It's un-settling, it's frightening at times, and it can be downright scary.

But as we go through life, and different situations rise up that test our trust, if we really look carefully, we notice that as we move towards the situation, clarity is available for the moment. We may not see far ahead, we may even have .01 visibility, but there will be something. There will be something we can cling to, even if but for a moment. The saying "there's always a silver lining," bares witness. There is always something you can pull from your foggy situation, always. It may be the tiniest of tiny's but there has to be a tad visibility. As we move forward in faith, often times in blind faith, our current surroundings become clear. And as you move to the next step, and then the next step, and then the next, you will notice clarity that comes along with each movement. You may not see your object yet, you may not be able to zero in on exactly what lies ahead, but as you keep walking, you can trust that God will highlight your next step. And then the next, and then the next.

I love the scripture I just read; "all that I know now is partial and incomplete, but THEN I will know everything completely." Won't that be such an awesome day? When we know everything completely. Oh my goodness how I long for that. But for now, I'll keep stepping, I'll keep moving forward, I'll keep looking for the visibility that God would grant me, and you can bet I'll keep singing. After all, it's in me.

We don't say that word.

Shut-up. We don't say that word in our house, nor anywhere else for that matter. I just don't like the word so of course I teach my kids not to say it. However, there's a time and a place for it to be used. There is? Yes. Stay tuned.

Do ever just need a good dose of peace? I do. My mind can over run me to the point of exhaustion! I'll find myself worrying about people, or situations or things that I'd like fixed immediately rather than wait; only to eventually land at the same conclusion: I still have no control over any of it. I wonder if you can relate?

I love Isaiah 41:10, it's super familiar and we hear it quoted often at church, but today, I'm focusing on one word, "dismayed."

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Be not dismayed.

Now, I love this scripture for more reasons than the word "dismayed," but that word stuck out at me just now as I read it. What's funny is that earlier in the week, I read this scripture and my heart was drawn towards God holding us with His righteous right hand. I love how scripture does that, God lights up just what He wants you to read at that moment. It's truly His living Word.

Be not dismayed.

The definition of dismay is this: "To cause someone to be worried, disappointed or upset." Or how about this doozy, "To lose courage."

I've studied the topic of fear quite a lot over the years, as it's an area that used to hold me pretty tight. Fearing the things that could go wrong; fearing the "what if's" that our lives might bring. And because of time spent in the Word about the topic of fear, I can pretty easily give the "what if's" over to God. I realize I have no control over the future, and I know that I know that I know, that should something come up that seems unmanageable for me, I know that God would see me through the situation. I'm good with the start of the verse, "Fear not." I'm totally cool with that, I can rest there. I'm not afraid of the future because I do indeed know that God is with me. Fear not, He is with me. I'm there.

Be not dismayed.

Don't worry? Don't be disappointed? Don't be upset? Don't lose courage?

I can't be alone on this one, can I? We can all fill in the blank to this one: "I am dismayed over _______." That person you are constantly worrying about, be it a friend, a family member, a son or daughter, a spouse. That financial difficulty looming over your head. The health struggle perhaps you are currently facing; maybe you are trying to get your weight to a healthier place and the task is so daunting that it's far easier to "lose courage" then to keep fighting. Perhaps the dream that you know without a shadow of a doubt was birthed by God is nowhere near on the horizon and you are beyond disappointed, doubting you even heard God.

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

If we could get but a glimpse of the power that lies behind that statement, "for I am your God," we would not have room to be dismayed. If we only knew the wonder working power, I mean really really really knew His power, when something began to overwhelm us, we would simply say to our minds the word we Steelman's don't say: "SHUT-UP!" Just shut up!

SHUT UP!

I will not be dismayed, because God is with me. I will not be worried, because my Father owns the cattle on a thousand Hills, He has exactly what I need and He knows exactly how to get it to me. I will not be disappointed because I serve a sovereign God that knows the end from the beginning; He knows the right path I should be on so I'll simply follow His lead and I'll not see closed doors as disappointing but rather as God's sovereign hand moving in my life! I will not be upset over things I cannot control because my Father has solved more problems for me than I can even count, whatever I'm facing today is nothing to His mighty hand! And the last part of our definition is a powerful one: I will not lose courage! I will not lose courage because my Bible says that, "If God be for me, who can be against me?" Whatever problem I'm trying to whip today is not bigger than the power of Almighty God! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Read our verse once more and let it sink in your heart: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

He promises to strengthen us through it all...whatever is causing you to be dismayed today, know that God will give you the strength to get through it. He promises to help us, and whats more, He promises to hold us up with His righteous right hand. And what's in His hand is far more powerful than what could ever be in mine. So when it comes to the worry, to having disappointment, to being upset and to losing courage, I'll take what's in His hand. Besides, I can't control it anyway. So in a nicer term I'll end with this:

Dear mind, HUSH UP!

Chapter Four: Welcome the Scar

Chapter Four: Welcome the scar

I remember the evening I sat in church staring at the back of a man’s head. It was not just any man; it was the man that would eventually become my husband! However, my first encounter with him was indeed, staring at the back of his head. He had shaved all of his hair off at that point so I noticed a scar that he had. I now know what it came from, but then, I had no idea what caused it. Only that I was curious. And most definitely wanted to know more. Not that I had any ulterior motives or anything for getting to know him. Not that I baked him cookies in an effort to win his affection or anything. Not that I stalked his house night and day or anything. I would never do that…

Scars are funny little things aren’t they? The initial blow to your skin that causes an open wound is generally very painful that in the moment you are not thinking to yourself, “oh gee I can’t wait for this to scar over.” No, you are usually screaming or crying or if you’re a tough cat you are holding it in, or you are simply looking for a way to stop the pain.

I recall the day my mom finally got the courage up to leave my dad, once and for all. We had left him numerous times in the past, but this time, I knew it was different. In the past, we had left when he was passed out, usually creeping over his sleeping body. It’s not easy to sneak four kids, one of whom was a newborn, out of the house, but my mother managed to do it on more than one occasion. For whatever reason though, my dad would always woo her back with his empty promises of a life that would change.

This time was different though. He was not passed out. We were not tip-toing around his limp body in fear of what might happen if he woke up. We were not rushing to the car to escape to a relative’s house yet again. No, we were at home. And Jimmy was there.

For much of my life I have refereed to my father as Jimmy. When talking to anyone about him, I never liked to call him dad. Because he was not my dad. A dad does not do the things to their children that he did to us.

But somewhere along the way, as I grew older in my walk with the Lord, my heart softened. Honestly, I have not called him Jimmy in years. I have to wonder if the reason I did that to begin with was out of fresh pain. When a wound is initially gained on a person, it hurts! So we do all that we can to stop the hurt. We try to apply pressure, we use band-aids, and we seek medical attention. And amidst all of that, if we are in extreme pain, we will say and do things that are not within the confines of our normal character.

If that’s how it goes when we find ourselves in physical pain, we have to assume it’s the same for emotional pain. We all, at one point or another, will come to a place of emotional trauma, leaving us frantically wandering around in an attempt to do all we can to stop the pain.

Often times we make choices out of that pain that incidentally cause us more harm than they do good. We choose to get involved in wrong relationships; all the while knowing the person is toxic for our well-being. Or we numb ourselves with drugs or alcohol, risking so much for a momentary peace. Perhaps we lose all hope that anything good will ever happen to us and so we give up.

Friends, I beg you to hear this: if we give up in the midst of the pain, we forsake the opportunity for the scar.

Now yes, a scar is not attractive by any means. I have a huge scar on my knee that my grandpa wanted to have removed when he paid for me to go into modeling school. Yes, you read that right. The girl that felt ugly since Kindergarten went to modeling school as a pre-teen. You can imagine how that went…

Anyhow, scars are unsightly. Most people don’t think to themselves “oh my how I’d love a scar, it’s so beautiful.” In fact, people get them removed. But think about it like this, a scar is beautiful to the person that endured the original pain. Because they remember how much it hurt.

A scar is ugly? Tell that to the woman who endured a mastectomy and yet has went on to conquer cancer through taking the necessary treatments. Sure she endured tremendous difficulty with it, but as she stares at herself in the mirror, that scar reminds her of the champion she has become.

A scar is ugly? Tell that to the man that bravely fought in Vietnam. He risked his life to preserve the honor of this great nation and in so doing lost both of his legs. As he stares in the mirror at the scars on his body, he stares in the face of a hero.

A scar is ugly? Tell that to the single mother, doing her best to raise her kids. She decides to leave the abusive man that has left numerous physical wounds on her face. As she stares in the mirror at the damage he has done, she stares into the face of a brave woman.

A scar is ugly? Tell that to the young woman, abused and rejected by her father. Forced to grow up far too early, helping to raise her siblings. The pain inside of her heart is unbearable. Until she meets Jesus. And He begins to walk her through healing…it’s long, it’s hard, it’s at times painful. But slowly, over time, forgiveness begins to win the game, the pain begins to subside. And before she knows it, she stares into the mirror, and she see’s me.

We remember the pain. So we welcome the scar.

As I stood on the worn red brick that surrounded our fireplace, my siblings all lined up next to me, my seven year old heart was nowhere near the scarring point. In fact, what took place next is a wound that took years and years to scar.

My mom had finally done it, she finally made up her mind that she had taken all could take. This was it, she was divorcing my dad, not that I even fully knew what that meant. I did however know this, this was different; we were not sneaking out, we were not afraid, we didn’t have to be quiet…except we were. I recall my dad kneeling down in front of us, trying his best to say goodbye. As he stood there in a white t-shirt, the only thing I actually focused on him saying was “you’re mom is making me leave.” Everything after that was a blur. It was a blur because I was trying my hardest not to cry. I wanted to cry. I desperately wanted to cry. I had a lump in my throat that was so painful, you know the familiar feeling you get when you know you need to release the emotion that your neck actually hurts? I felt that. But my seven year old wounded heart was not about to give that man the satisfaction of seeing me cry. It was all I could do to keep that emotion inside. But I did it. And in that moment, I was proud that I did. He did not deserve to see me cry. After all, it was his fault.

Even still, there is something so deep in a little girls heart that longs to be able to share emotion with her father. But thus began many years of keeping my emotions bottled up inside, not willing to share them with anyone. Just in case they too choose to reject me, as my father did.

I’m so thankful for scars. That pain has scarred over now, and if you sit with me for more than ten consecutive seconds you are liable to see my emotion! There’s no holding the floodgates back anymore. I probably need to work on that actually! But it’s me. I cry. I laugh. I get mad. Then I cry some more. I’m just wired that way. I stuffed all those feelings down for far too much of my life so lookout folks, the Jen you get now may be a little overboard with emotion, but I can’t help it. I blame the scars. And then I thank them.

Short legged cows?

I can be bribed. Pretty easily in fact. It has not happened often, someone bribing me that is, but yes, I can be bought. Paid off. Bribed. Persuaded. If my husband wanted to buy something for himself that he did not necessarily "need", he could buy me off with a shopping trip or flowers, or much easier, dessert. (No joke, I just checked my email after I wrote this and he sent me a link to something he needs me to order for him. Folks, I can't make this stuff up. He better get me flowers. Or chocolate. Or both.)He knows how to persuade me, that rascal! Now I don't make this public knowledge, on account of me being labeled an easy target and what not, but if you want something, just throw a cake my way and it's about as good as done. I can be persuaded.

And so can you.

We all come to different crossroads in our lives that cause us to throw the towel down on one side or the other. What do we believe and why? How far are we willing to go to defend that belief? How do I raise my kids? What kind of marriage will I have? Where will I spend my money? What will I take a stand for?

Persuaded. What will persuade me? What will persuade you?

Persuaded defined is: "to cause someone to believe in something."

I can be gullible. I remember a time when I was driving through England with my Aunt and Uncle and I took notice of the cows on the vast hillside. I recall being amazed at how they stood so well on a sloping hill! My Uncle told me that those particular cows were born with shorter legs on one side so as to stand without falling on the slant. I believed him. No really, I did. What's wrong with me you ask? I don't know. I guess I take the whole "blonde" thing a tad too far but yes, I have been persuaded to believe some pretty bizarre things over the years! What can I say, I want to believe people! Luckily I've gotten a little wiser in my, ahem, old age, but if your counting, I'm easily bribed AND gullible.

In the book of Acts Paul is sharing with some folks about Jesus. Acts 28:24 says some extremely powerful words, "And some were persuaded by the things which were spoken, and some disbelieved."

When I hear people speak about Jesus, it's not hard for me to be persuaded. I love Him. He has done so much in my life. It sounds cliche to say that so simply but it's true. I'm so so so so persuaded that He loves me. The Holy Spirit moves upon my heart so often when I hear preaching, or when I'm reading His Word or a great Christian book, or when worship music plays, or when I'm having a God centered conversation, my heart just leaps with persuasion!

But some disbelieved. Why? Why did they not believe? Were they too hardened by the things of this world that anything so great and so good and yet so simple was something unfathomable? Oh it's not. It's so so real.

You first have to be persuaded that He loves you. That you are the most precious, most valuable, most prized creation there ever was. That He loves you with a ridiculous kind of love. That He longs to just be with you, to hang out with you, to walk with you. Persuasion must start there.

And from there, you have to know that He delights to get you the desires of your heart. It's in Psalms 37:4, He absolutely wants to get you what you need and what you desire. Be persuaded in that.

Then, one of my absolute favorite verses that I first memorized in Bible College is found in Romans. It's a scripture about the faith of Abraham, who, being very much up there in age was not about to give up on a promise that God had made him. It says in Romans 4:20-21 20 "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."

That's where we need to land as believers in Christ, persuaded. FULLY persuaded in fact. That there may be no shadow of a doubt in our minds that absolutely God has the power to do what He has promised. Hmmm. Think about that for a moment: "fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised." It does not say, "God will do what He promised." But it says, "God has the power to do what He had promised."

Your dream may not come to pass when you want it to. Your hearts desire may be on hold, for whatever reason, but the moment you move your peg away from the persuaded, you then lie in a scary and dangerous place, on the side that disbelieves. God has the power to do what He has promised you. That does not necessarily mean that the promise will look like what you think it will look like. God does not operate according to what we think it should be, He moves according to His will. Remember the scripture in Isaiah that says, "God's ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts." We can't hold fast to the Promise, we have to hold fast to the Power. And that power is Jesus. That's the connection, that's the source. We have to be fully persuaded that God has the power to do all that He says He will do! End of story. Our focus cannot lie on the promise. If we are "promise focused," what will we do when the promise tarries? What will we do when we don't see the answer in sight? What will we do when our road seems to be going backwards, farther away from the promise? I'll tell you what we will do, we will doubt. We will not believe. We will no longer be persuaded.

But if we stay on the side that says come hell or high water, I AM GOING TO BELIEVE GOD NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE HE HAS POWER TO DO ALL HE SAYS HE WOULD DO, then we stay fully persuaded and can't nothing, NO-thing, no body, no issue, no setback, no pause in life, no worry, NOTHING can separate us from the love of God that's in Christ Jesus because we are FULLY PERSUADED!!!

I may be easily bribed, and yes, I may be gullible at times, but one thing is for sure, I know what side of the road I stand on. I'm fully persuaded. How about you?

Now excuse me while I go order my husband some random thing he needs. I mean wants. And perhaps I'll order myself my own little bribe while I'm at it. After all, I'm fully persuaded.

The four lettered word.

1 Corinthians 13 is known as "the love chapter," and rightfully so. It's often read at weddings for that very reason, love, and again, rightfully so. But have you ever just sat and read the chapter for yourself? I must admit, I've read it numerous times but rarely applied it to area's of my own life. Take a moment to read verses 1-7 with me:

"If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I'm reading a book by Caroline Barnett right now, "Willing to Walk on Water," and in the book she challenges readers to read that passage and apply it to themselves in a few different ways. First off, to apply it to the way we love our kids. Second, to the way we love our spouse and thirdly, to the way that Jesus loves us.

It's interesting to ponder that passage in those ways. Regarding my family, am I always patient and kind? Am I irritable? Um. Yes, too often. Do I lose faith sometimes, do I give up, do I endure in every circumstance? Now, of course nobody is perfect on this planet when it comes to applying love in the correct manner with those we hold dear, but it sure is challenging to apply this verse that way.

Now how about God? Is He always patient and kind with me? Yes. Is He irritable? No. Although He probably gets very close to irritation with me sometimes! Does He ever give up on me? Nope. Does He endure with me through every circumstance? Yep. When you apply the verse in that context, boy, it's overwhelming really. He endures with me. No matter how annoying I am. No matter how many wrong choices I make. No matter how many times I don't look at people with this kind of love. No matter, no matter, no matter, He endures.

You would think it would be simple to simply love, wouldn't you? And often times, I just assume I've got this love thing down. I love people. I love my family, I love my friends, I love our church, I love our city. I'd consider myself generally a loving person. But as I read the first portion of this text, I see that nothing I do would matter, if not done with love. If I had un-limited access to knowledge, it would not matter if I didn't love. If I could know God's secret plans, it would not matter if I didn't love. Man! And this one hits me, "if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing."

We strive so much in our Christian walk to live by faith. We value our faith. If we don't have faith in this life, we will go from struggle to struggle. We need faith. Oh we desperately need faith. Faith carries us through every adversity. Faith drives us through our disappointment. Faith gives us a backbone in an otherwise spineless world. And yet, even if I am the most faith filled person, if I don't have something as seemingly simple as love, I'm nothing.

In fact, chapter 13 ends with this: "Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love."

Greater than faith, love? Greater than hope, love? Wow. I need faith. Oh man do I need hope. But more than that, I need love. We need it. We need love and we need to BE loved. It's the essence of all we believe. Love.

Love seems simple, right? I can love a person through some crazy stuff, and I'm sure you could too. But love is so much more than that, it's a power that can't be taken for granted. Love holds more power than faith. Love holds more power than hope.

Love sent Jesus to the Cross. It has to be a powerful force. If it was faith that sent Jesus there, He could have easily detached His emotions from the situation. If it was Hope, as great as hope is, He could have still blocked out what was happening to Him on Golgotha. But it was not faith, and it was not hope - it was love.

As He hung on that wooden cross, overcome with physical pain, overwhelmed by the sin and the sickness of you and of me, there had to be something that kept Him going, something that He could feel. We don't feel faith. We don't even necessarily feel hope. But we do feel love. Oh how we feel love.

Those wonderful feelings of love that overtake you as you stand before your mate on your wedding day! Oh goodness, there is so much love in that moment you feel like you might burst! There is nothing like it. Or the time you look into your child's eyes and are overwhelmed with the gift God has given you. It's a special kind of love. Or a love you feel for a friend that goes deep in your soul as God has knit you together as He does family. Love is a precious, precious thing. It's an overwhelming feeling.

You feel it. Sometimes we love so hard that it hurts, I'm sure you've heard that saying. There are times you have to love a person through something so difficult that you literally feel pain over the situation. An offense that was done to you, or an action taken by a loved one that ultimately caused you pain. Or the loss of someone you so greatly loved, oh the pain of love that goes to the core of your being...

Love is a feeling.

And so now I understand the last verse of chapter 13. I understand why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is indeed, love. I get it. I totally get it. Because if Jesus could not feel His love for me, He would not have stayed on the cross. But He felt it. He felt His love for me that day. Too the very core of His being, He felt it. He saw down the road and loved me as a little girl with hair so light it looked white. He saw my hazel eyes wrought with tears over the destruction that took place in my home. He saw my tiny heart covered in shame as a 5 year old little girl. He felt it. He felt my pain. He felt my shame. And He felt the love. He loved me as He watched me grow, and make mistakes, and walk through difficulty...and then I can only imagine the joy He felt the day I prayed to Him as a 14 year old teenager and asked Him to fill me with the love that He has carried for me since that day on the Cross! Oh the LOVE!!

So my challenge to myself today is this, love. Simply that, love. And even when it's not so simple, love. It really is the greatest thing.