Does it ever stop?

I don't know about you, but I have days where my mind is constantly going. I'd venture to say most all women have this problem, our mind's don't take a rest! We are always thinking of the tasks of the day, the problems we are facing, the hurts of others or even ourselves, the needs that we are aware of...the list goes on and on and on. Wether we are sad or rejoicing, mad or delighted, anxious or peaceful, we are always something. Something is always filling our mind. Something. What's your something today?

Psalm 94:19 says, "In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul."

How great a scripture is that? It goes along with what I was reading this morning in John 14 where Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Then I open up good old Facebook and this scripture was posted: Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Hmmm. I see a theme for the day here! Peace. Rest. Comfort.

We like to fix stuff. We want to solve everyone's problems. We women care so very deeply for people that when a friend or family member is struggling, it nearly overwhelms our soul until that situation is resolved. But is that right? Well, to a degree I think so. And to a degree, not so much.

I love women. I love how intricate we are. I love how emotional we are. I love how big we love. I love how it's first nature for us to help someone. I think God did a pretty cool job when He created us!

But then there is the side of us that.never.shuts.off. Or maybe that's just me. Our mind's keep going and going until we have either re-hearsed the situation to death or we have solved the problem ten times over or we have struggled to make sense of something, etc., etc., etc.

Anyone? No? Just me? Ok, I'll take the wrap today! Well I have a news flash for you then, Jen Steelman: It's not up to you to fix the world!

Nor is it up to anyone else out there that has ever mulled over stuff until they are blue in the face, thinking that the more we think about it the closer we are to fixing it. Not true.

Jesus left us with His peace. His peace? Can you imagine the depth of that peace? Go with me for a moment to Gethsemane. Oh my goodness. Ya gotta read it for yourself: Luke 22:41-44 "And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."

The One who could fix the world had a mind that was full. The One who very well could have solved His problem at that moment, had a mind that was overwhelmed. He easily could have said, "forget it. I'm not doing this. I'm not going through with it. Forget it." He could have decided to just fix the world. Forget the plan of redemption, just fix it. Make everyone robots.

But in essence He says "I love these people too much. I love them so much that I want them to have their own free will. I created them each so individually, and I love that about them! I want them to make their own choices regarding their feelings toward me. I will die for them. And in so doing I will make it so very easy for them to get to me. Because I love them."

Talk about a mind that's overwhelmed. Talk about the weight of the world on His shoulders, literally. LITERALLY.

So when He says that He leaves us with His peace, He knows the extent of what that means. He knows what it is like to agonize over something, He knows what it's like to want to fix a problem, He knows what it's like to hurt and to grieve, He knows what it's like to have people hate you, He knows what it's like to be rejected and betrayed, He knows what it's like to be afraid of the unknown, and He knows what it's like to love a person (people) so deeply that it overwhelms you to the core of your soul. He knows.

And it's with that knowledge that He is able to say, "MY peace I leave with you." He knows what is waiting for us in eternity. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows how that problem you are worried about will be solved. He knows how He is going to take that difficult situation you went through and use it for good. He totally, totally knows.

And that, my friends, is the Peace He gives. It's a peace that we can hang onto reminding us that He is in control and not us. It's a peace that we can claim in the midst of any storm we might face. It's a peace that will surround us in the confusing seasons of life. It's a peace that will indeed go beyond what we can understand and bring such a sense of calm that we have no doubt that God is on His throne. It's a peace that drove Jesus to the cross...woah. Peace? He went to the cross with peace? You bet He did. Because He trusted in His Father to work all things for the good. Wow.

So when life begins to overwhelm us, and our mind begins to race with all the "stuff" we women face, remember the peace that Jesus left us with. Remember that He felt all the same emotions that you feel. And remember, that in spite of what He felt, He stayed on the path created for Him, trusting in God, walking in Peace.

Reminds me of the hymn, "peace, peace, wonderful peace, coming down from the Father above."

Hold onto your peace today. Give those things over to the Lord, trust Him for the outcome. Because at the end of the day, He really can fix the world.

I'm a Chocolate Chip!

The Body of Christ is a unique thing; so important to this world in that it holds the answer to eternity within it's members, the answer that is Jesus & His gift of salvation. And yet, even with such immense power at our disposal, the body of Christ holds the potential to do such damage, and more often then not, that damage is done within the body.

God loves his bride, the body of Christ. He looks at us through the precious blood of His Son, Jesus, and He see's nothing that we have done in our past, He see's nothing that once held us down, because as the body of Christ, we are under that cleansing blood of Jesus. So when He looks at us, He see's our great potential! He knows the power house that we can be! He knows what great things can be accomplished for the good when the body of Christ comes together in unity, when we combine our resources to do some good stuff for the Kingdom of God, when we walk in love in every area of our life, to everyone we come in contact with. That's the body of Christ at it's finest. And He knows it.

But I wonder today, do we know it? Do we really comprehend the power that resides in the body of Christ? Do we fully allow the body to work the way that it was intended to work? Or do we let offense set it, do we dwell on the negative things going on around us, do we deem the job to big or the problem insurmountable? Hmm. I just wonder.

The job is big. The problem does indeed seem insurmountable. Unity in the body of Christ? Too hard. Or is it?

Jesus said that the Harvest is plentiful but that the workers are few. So if the Harvest is there, I guess all that's needed is the workers to plow the fields. And who are the workers? Its you, it's me, it's our brother's and it's our sisters. It's the amazing, fantastic, beautiful, intelligent, gifted, anointed, loving and caring body of Christ. It's His bride. It's His church. It's His people.

I love 1 Corinthians chapter 12. So much in there to glean from. But let's look at verse 27. It say's, "Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually."

Each one of us is unique to the body of Christ. Each of us has something different to bring to the table. As I was baking the other day, I was reminded of this very thing. Often in baking you mix the dry ingredients and the wet ingredients separately. As I was mixing the flour, the salt & the baking soda, I was thinking how gross that would taste by itself. And even as you mix the wet ingredients, granted it's often with sugar & butter so it's a tad more palatable, but still, not a great taste. But then you put it all together and voila, you have baked goodness. Apart from one another, they just don't function to their fullest potential, but together, they bring delight to all who partake...think about that for a moment. Hmmm.

And now let's not forget the chocolate chips! Now they can stand on their own can't they? They taste good before being added to the dry & wet ingredients, I'm sure we can all attest to sneaking one or two or twenty chocolate chips while baking cookies. Even though they taste good alone, they taste even BETTER combined. There true flavor comes out in the baking process. Oh goodness, there's another analogy. Someone stop me!

I've decided that I want to be a chocolate chip in the body of Christ. I want to be a person that is strong enough to stand on my own. Like a great verse I read in 1 Corinthians, it's 6:13 and it say's, "Watch, stand fast in faith, be brave, be strong." I want to live that verse. I want to be brave and strong. I want to be able to stand on my own, IF I HAD TO. I'm a chocolate chip! Yes, I want to be able to stand on my own, but I don't want to have to. I want to be the ingredient that when combined with all the other individual ingredients, something greater comes out of me.

In order to be that, I've got to do my part to represent the body of Christ well. I've got to live offense free, probably the hardest thing to do, in my opinion. I've got to keep my mouth shut like the old saying goes, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I've got to be careful not to carry someone else's offense. I've got to let God be the judge of others, it's not up to me. I dwell on that topic for a moment because I believe it's one of the biggest dividers in the body of Christ. We take up one another's offense, without having all the facts about a situation, we jump on the band wagon and call it truth, while leaving a wake of dissension in our dust. It's awful to see happen and unfortunately I've seen it happen all too often. It's hard for folks to recover from offense that leads to division. It's hard for the body of Christ as a whole, but furthermore, it's hard for the individual. Offense can shipwreck your faith, causing you to believe that God is somehow the author of a mess like that...when all along it really was the devil, just orchestrating a situation, all for the sake of destroying a member of the body.

I much prefer talking about chocolate than I do the devil, so let's get back to being a chocolate chip! To be the chocolate chip, we have to be offense free. We have to bridle our tongue. We should be the most encouraging group of people that folks are plain annoyed by our joy! And yet, they can't help but be intrigued by it. We are to be "doers of the Word and not just hearers." So in other words, as my handsome, bald husband says, "we should not just be butts in the seats but we should be boots on the streets!" Let's get out into the world and do something for the Kingdom!

The body of Christ is truly precious. I'm so so so so happy to be a part of it. I love my brothers and my sisters. Does offense come? Oh ya. But I'm aware of it. I know it's just the devil and not the person. Do I get grumpy? Yep. Do I fail often? Yep and yep and yep. But the beauty of a chocolate chip is that regardless of the shape it's in, it still tastes good when mixed with others. I may be a mess of a mess, but doggonit, I'm a pretty tasty chocolate chip! How about you?

Gossip Slug

Gossip is one of those words that we don't use much these days, because nobody thinks "they" actually gossip. But in reality, we all are guilty of it. This is what Webster's says the word "gossip" means: "Casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true."

We have all fallen to prey to that ugly word, gossip. The word itself is just ugly isn't it? So much so that I don't like to say it. And yet, we so carelessly allow words to fly out of our mouths that are "unconstrained."

We know gossip to be a bad thing, and we know when we are doing it. We know when something is coming out of our mouths that is not 100% fact as much as we know if we can swim or not. We know. But let's look at something just as dangerous that we can do with our tongue, other than gossip.

Colossians 4:6 got me thinking this morning; it say's, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt."

What does salt do? Well, it does many things. It can clean a wound, bring out the flavor of food and, oh yes, it can kill a slug! Ew. Slugs are pretty gross. I mean, what purpose does a slug serve? Just the name slug is bad! Hey, since the word "gossip" does not comfortably roll off our tongue, and neither does the word "slug," let's call it "gossip slug!" Ok, ok. I realize I took that way too far. I digress.

That scripture is extremely powerful! Extremely. First off, let our words ALWAYS be with grace. It does not say that our words can be full of grace when we are happy in the situation, or when everyone agree's with us, or when we are in charge of the conversation, or when we feel we are being heard, no, it says "always." Hmm.

Always.

So, when someone does me wrong? When I'm inclined to "tell it like it is?" When I feel the need to get my opinion out so strongly that I can't listen to what the other person is saying because bless God my opinion is right? When I don't agree with them? When they are clearly and knowingly in the wrong?

Always.

Man! Let our speech always be with grace. Now please don't get me wrong here, of course we are not to sit back and let someone rake us over the coals, or abuse us, or be-little us, and of course we are entitled to our opinion and the time to share it, etc., etc., etc. But I like to think that there are ways to handle difficult situations in life with grace. In every situation we find ourselves in, there will be two ways we can handle it; either with grace, or I guess the opposite of that = disgrace. Now since I'm a huge fan of definitions, let Webster define "disgrace" for us. "Loss of reputation or respect, especially as the result of a dishonorable action."

Something we tell our girls often is that "Choices have consequences." It's so simple and yet so true. Every move we make has an end result to it. It either gets us closer to our God given destiny or it moves us further away from it. And so it is with words. The words we use in reaction to people or situations can never be taken back. Once they are off our tongue, that's it. So if we strive to live by the scripture that tells us to "let our speech always be full of grace," then we know that the consequence to our choice will always be a good one.

Grace dis-arms people. Grace sets people at ease. When you find yourself in a heated discussion or situation, the grace that pours out of your mouth will be like cool water on a hot surface. It begins to put the whole situation in a sweeter light.

I also love the second part of that verse - "seasoned with salt." Back to all the things that salt can do, well, minus the killing of the slug, I spent enough time on that, poor gossip slug.

May the words that flow from our mouths be so encouraging that they actually enhance the hearers life! If salt enhances flavor in food, how should our words be? They should be encouraging, edifying, uplifting. I understand that there are times we have to speak the truth, and sometimes that truth can be hard for the hearer to hear. However, when the truth is being told in a manner that is full of grace, that is seasoned with salt, then the truth will not fall on deaf ears, but will be received and given the opportunity to do the work with which it was sent forth to do!

Slug gossip is such a bummer. I vividly recall the moment I was so convicted of something that I said that it forever changed my view of gossip. It was many, many years ago - but I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. There was such an internal disgust that surrounded my choice of words that it's forever etched in my memory to the point that when I hear any form of gossip now it upsets me greatly. But God used that situation to show me how very powerful gossip can be.

I was reminded of the damage gossip does recently when someone asked me if what they "heard" was true about a person. Of course, it was not true at all, in fact, the rumor was straight from the devil himself. But the sad part is that the hearer, even months later, still had a tainted view of the situation even after knowing the truth, all over a hell breathed rumor.

As I type this, tears are flooding my eyes over the damage that our words have the potential to do. Please, I implore you, all two of you that read this, please be careful with the words that come out of your mouth. Are they full of truth? And if so, is it something you actually need to be sharing anyway or is it private. Keep it private. Are your words full of grace? Are they encouraging and uplifting? Let's find the good in people and brag about that. People should feel so awesome when they leave our presence, not because of us, but because of how we made them feel. People should know when they come to a conversation with you that it's a safe place to converse, that it's an encouraging place to converse, and most of all, that it's a graceful place to converse.

I'll leave you with this verse in James 3:17-18 that says, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Isn't that so good? May we live out that verse today, and everyday to come. That we would judge the words of our mouth by that verse. May the hearer always leave our presence feeling like they can be the best they can be, that they are loved by a great and mighty God, and that no matter what the world tells them, they are indeed, super awesome!

I told someone awhile back that my goal was to be so encouraging that it was almost annoying! Almost. Would you join me in that? Let's pour salt on that filthy, old gossip slug. Besides, the trail the slug leaves is dirty enough...

He's gotta go

My little, nearly 8 year old Joei Kate is very observant; she is a people watcher to the fullest degree. So much so that she felt that the gal working at the Target Cafe yesterday was part of her family because she was watching her so much, (her words, not mine!) Then she told me the name of another Target employee that was smoking, but she was very pretty. She took all this in during the short amount of time it took to eat a little lunch. Observant.

Lately she is questioning the effects of drugs, alcohol & smoking. We have many a conversation about it, the topic intrigues her and she can't wrap her head around why anyone would be tempted by those things, things that have so much harming potential. I love her innocence and I pray so hard that she keeps that view about those things.

So yesterday in the car she asks me if I've ever broke the law. Awesome. I suppose I could have smoked (no pun intended) over the question but I feel like giving my kids as much truth as they can handle is beneficial. Of course I don't over do the details, but I walked the road I walked for a reason and hopefully they can learn from it. So I told her about the time I got caught stealing an obscene amount of make-up. I was 13, about to be 14 years old. Not my brightest moment in life, let me tell you. I shared some of the story and answered her questions then offered up my "excuse," so to speak. I said that I didn't know Jesus at the time so I didn't fully comprehend right or wrong. But as soon as that was out of my mouth I realized no, that's not exactly true Jen. I knew it was wrong to steal. I knew it was very, very wrong as I tried to walk out of the store with an overwhelming feeling of nervousness in the pit of my stomach for the wrong I was doing. I knew it was wrong. What I lacked was the desire to live for Jesus with every ounce of my being. The desire for serving Him that would overwhelm the desire for any temptation to do wrong that would come my way. So I had to amend my statement to my observant little girl. It is what it is.

I love 1 Peter 5:8-9 as it says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world."

The devil has sought to devour me on many occasions; he started before I even came into this world and he has not stopped ever since. He does not want me to realize the full potential I have inside of me so he comes after me with thoughts that will derail me from the course that God has laid before me. He tries to invade my relationships, my thoughts, my actions & my heart. And he will do the same to you.

That's why Peter is telling us to stay on alert! It's not time to mess around in this life God has given us. There is no time to fall prey to the silly, pointless temptations that come into our paths. There is no time to say "only this once and never again" because we have no idea how tremendous the consequences of that choice may be. There is no time to allow an offense to sit in our heart, festering and growing into a bitterness that we no longer can control. There is no time to allow mean and cruel words to come out of our mouths because once they are spoken out they can only be forgiven, not taken back. THERE IS NO TIME!

That old devil knows our weak spots and he goes after them continuously. He can't read our mind, but he can read our actions. I love this from Smith Wigglesworth:

"We must resist in the hour when Satan's schemes may bewilder us, when we are almost swept off our feet, and when darkness is upon us to a degree that it seems as if some evil thing had overtaken us. 'Resist him, steadfast in the faith.'"

We can get to what feels like the lowest of lows in our life; we may feel like the pressure is so intense that we can't bare another minute before our top blows off. That's the very moment that our resistance will bring a breakthrough. Don't give in to his schemes or to his temptations. Resist him! James tell us to "Resist the devil and he will flee." So that tells me that our resistance, our standing up to that sucker and saying heck no am I going to bow to this pressure, no way am I going to let you run my mind any longer, no way am I going to receive the thoughts you are sending to my mind, no way am I going to allow that thing to fester in my heart, playing that hurtful conversation or scenario over in my head any longer, no way am I going to go out and give into that temptation you are driving me to, there is NO WAY I am doing that so look out devil because my Resistance is bringing my breakthrough!!

Romans 8:18 says, "For I consider that the sufferings on this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

It's not worthy. Whatever you are facing today, be it pressure, physical hardship, mental anguish, anxiety like you have never faced before, temptation so overwhelming you feel as though you cannot resist it, disappointment, doubt - whatever the case may be in your life today, remind yourself that it's not worthy.

It's not worthy when you put it up against glory. It's not worthy when you look at it from an outside lens, that we are simply passing through this life. It's not worthy when you read God's Word and see that He is preparing a place for you in Heaven. A place so great that He will wipe every tear from our eyes. We have tears now, we have hurts now, we have issues now, we have set-backs and temptations now...but there. Oh my goodness. It's not worthy. It's not worthy.

Be sober. Be vigilant. Be steadfast. Be strong. Be courageous. Be you. Because it's not worthy.

Un-friended. Again.

Do you ever see a bumper sticker that you remember? One that just catches your attn. and either makes you laugh, cry or get extremely angry? I have.

For instance, I cannot stand it when people distort the Fish that represents Christianity, with something referring to evolution, the devil, etc. Drives me batty. I have to refrain from staring at the driver as I pass them because, well, that would prove their point if I did! Where's the love in that? I have to remind myself to pray for that person as they clearly have not met the Jesus that I have. They don't know Him to be so loving and kind and compassionate. They don't know that He loves them on such an extreme level that we can't even comprehend it. But I pray that one day they do. And then they will realize why distorting that fish hurts my heart to see...

Every now and again a bumper sticker really makes me laugh. I love it when I see one that is just genuinely funny! Then you have the stickers that have cuss words on them and again, the mad Jen comes out because I'd rather not have to explain to my 7 year old that can now read what it means...and again, pray Jen, pray.

I remember in school we had to make our own bumper sticker; we were to come up with the slogan and design it and carry it on to completion. I must have been 10 or 11 and all I could come up with was "Only pigs snort." It was supposed to be an anti-drug kind of thing, with a pig snout and all. Ya, it was pretty lame. So clearly I'm not the most clever when it comes to bumper stickers. But hold your hats folks because I've got a good one now:

"Excuse my poor driving, I've been un-friended. Again."

Or how about, "I could use a hug, I've been un-friended. Again." Or, "Pay no attention to my erratic behavior, I've just been un-friended. Again."

Perhaps you can guess what this post is about. It's happened to me numerous times, and perhaps it's happened to you. Social Networking is great for a lot of things; keeping in touch has never been easier, organizing events, killing time, tons of fun right? Right. Until you get un-friended. Sometimes it's innocent, a person just cleaning up their friends list and realizing you don't talk much, they delete you from their facebook. Totally understandable. But then their are times it's deliberate. And they go to your little profile picture, look at your cheezy, happy mug and still choose to un-friend ya. Delete you from their friend list. Remove you. End your relationship. Done. Buh-bye.

If you have not felt that feeling before, it's not the greatest feeling. Hence my need to come up with bumper stickers full of humor to deflect the fact that I have feelings too. And you do as well.

Not everybody is going to like us. Jesus said, "the world hated me, and it will hate you." Sometimes decisions are made that are not popular, and you loose friends. Sometimes you make a comment you wish you could take back, and you loose a friend. Sometimes there are mis-understandings and again, you loose a friend.

But it leads me to this question, were they ever really a friend to begin with? Do you really have 500 friends! Because true friends hash stuff out. True friends don't resort to facebook to air their dirty laundry. True friends talk in a real life manner. "Friend" is a very deep word. Very.

Social networking is great for many reasons, but it's also not great, for many reasons. You don't hear peoples tone of voice over social networking. You don't get to see the emotion they are portraying. You don't truly get to hear the heart of a person.

I suppose if you go into the Social world of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc., you have to go in with a light heart. You have to know that everybody takes themselves far to seriously and it's easy to fall into the trap to do the same thing.

Facebook is fun! Twitter, fun. I don't plan to give them up anytime soon, although I have contemplated it as of late. But again, can't take ourselves too seriously!

So long as we keep in mind that those things can't define who we are, we will remain in a good place. If we allow the thoughts and opinions of others to define us, we move to a bad place. If we dwell on those that reject us, we move to a bad place. If we go to facebook with our emotions on our sleeves, we are heading to a vulnerable place, not one that belongs floating around cyberspace for all to see. Let's be wise when it comes to that kind of stuff. Have fun! Don't take yourself to seriously. And don't take your friends, or lack thereof, too seriously either. It is what it is.

I just thought of a new bumper sticker, "Jesus won't un-friend me. Ever."

Nor will he un-friend you. Nor will He turn on you. Nor will He leave you. Not ever. He's cool like that.

Memories

I'm reading a great book at the moment that is really challenging me in quite a few areas of life. You ever read a book at just the right time, right when you needed to read it, so much so that everything in that book is like a light bulb? Well that is this book I'm into at the moment. Excuse me as my daughter runs in, having changed for the umpteenth time to go nowhere wondering if her shoe is on the wrong foot. And now she is changing shoes. Ok then...

So anyhow, I read yet another great thought the other day and decided to personalize it to myself. I wonder if you might like to do the same.

Philippians 4:8 is a pretty common verse, one many of us are familiar with, but my goodness many of us don't live it on a daily basis, myself included.

"Finally, my brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things."

There ya have it. If what my mind is set upon does not fall into the category above, it's not worthy of my time.

This book, "Made to Crave," deals with the emotional side of eating. It deals with much more, but at the core of the book is getting the reader back to a place of craving only God. When our hearts desire is the Lord, all else in life falls into place.

We all have issues. We all have had stuff happen to us along life's journey that has shaped us and made us who we are, be it a negative or a positive, we have all had experiences that have been engraved into our memories.

Often our minds go to those negative things that have happened and they camp there, bringing out all sorts of emotions and actions that we would rather do without. I believe that we need to let ourselves feel the emotion of the circumstance, we need to grieve that negative thing that caused a loss to our life, wether it be a physical loss or an emotional loss, still very powerful either way.

But I also believe that the Bible says, "He whom the Son sets free is free indeed." So there has to come a point where we move past the hurt; we recognize the issue for what it is, we grieve it, but then we hand it over to God and we don't look back. The Bible also says in Galatians that "it is for freedom that Christ set us free, no longer to be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

We are not to be slaves to the circumstances that have caused us pain. If we stay camped in that moment, we forego true freedom, and without even realizing it all of our choices and actions flow from a heart that is broken, stuck on an incident.

So that's where this great scripture in Philippians comes in. The author of "Made to Crave," took a negative circumstance in her life and dug around for the positive. It was hard to find, but she found it.

A negative circumstance in my life was growing up with an alcoholic father. As a result of that addiction, my home was full of hurt, pain, fear and mass chaos. For much of my life, the choices and actions I made came from a place of hurt. But then I met Jesus and slowly began to turn those things over, too where there is no longer a sting anymore. But if I'm not careful, my mind can still mull over the things that I saw or heard or felt or feared.

So while I often have thought of my Dad in a negative light, the same was said for the author of the book I'm loving at the moment, she chose to find a positive in her Dad, a healthy place that her mind could camp. So I'm going to do that too.

In all honesty, my last conversation with my dad before he passed away is a great memory for me, one that I hold dear and thank God for. It was a tremendously healing moment for me. But that was recent. If I have to dig deep into my childhood, I have two fond memories of my dad.

One was at a very, very young age, maybe 2 or 3. Kind of wild that I remember that far back, but it's only a glimpse. My dad was laying on his back playing airplane with me; the game where you put your belly on someones feet and they lift you up. I enjoyed that moment! Although, I do recall it ending in me throwing up on him...oops.

My other memory was a time that my dad allowed me to stay home from school one day. I'm surprised I even wanted to stay home with him to be honest, but for whatever reason, I did. He wore an apron while making spaghetti. I recall making a tent by placing a sheet over the table...and building towers with muffin liners.

Two good memories I have of my dad from an otherwise painful childhood. I don't have much remembrance of those memories, but that's ok, because I have them. And they remind me that my dad himself was not a bad person, it was the choices that he made that were bad that caused the pain. He was not bad. His choices were. Because a person that is truly evil would not play airplane with his little girl and not be angry after being vomited on. A person that was truly evil would not build towers out of cupcake liners in an attempt to create a normal day in his daughters otherwise abnormal world.

My dad was not an evil man. In spite of the other countless negative memories I have that may prove otherwise, these two memories allow my mind to camp in a positive place. And as I allow my mind to camp here, on these two vague memories, any hold of hurt or pain that tries to rise from the negative memories has no power anymore! If a hurtful thought comes to me, I can recall my little belly on my dad's feet. If the devil tries to bring up a shame filled moment again, I can picture a tower built out of flimsy little muffin liners. And then I'll remember that my dad really was good. His actions were not. Be he was. He was.

So I encourage you to do the same today. Together, let's press on towards a high calling in Christ Jesus. He has stuff for us to do. He has freedom for us to grab hold of. He has goals for us to meet. He has giants for us to conquer. He has a song for us to sing. He has something lovely for us to think about.

I believe it's out of our darkest moments that God desires to bring forth a beautiful light...

Let's camp there; in the light of a good memory. We all have them. You may have to dig deep, but I guarantee that as you dig, you will find one. It may be vague, but it will be enough. God always makes sure that we have enough. He is our portion. He is truly, truly our father.

Perspective

I don't necessarily like to excercise but I'm thankful I have the legs to do it. I don't necessarily like to clean my house but I'm thankful for the amazing home I live in. I don't necessarily like to scrub the shower, but I'm thankful that I have one. I don't necessarily like to do my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, but I'm thankful I have the finances to buy groceries at all. I don't necessarily like putting said groceries away, but I'm thankful for a stocked pantry when it's done. I don't necessarily like to wash & dry my giant hair, but I'm thankful I have hair. I don't necessarily like it when my girls wake me up at night, but I'm thankful they know mom means safety. I don't necessarily like when my girls whine, but I'm thankful they have the ability to speak, and that I have the ability to hear them. I don't necessarily like getting gas in my car, but I'm thankful for the car and I'm thankful for the money to buy the gas. I don't necessarily like doing dishes but I'm thankful for running water.

These are the thoughts running through my head lately. For all the stuff we complain about doing, what if we looked at the good in it? Who enjoys doing chores? Well, sometimes I get in the zone and actually do enjoy it; when the music is going and I have ample time to put into cleaning. But then there's the other 99% of the time, he he. Really though, what if we flipped the script. Tossed the salad. Turned the pancake. Cracked the egg. Sliced the cake. Am I hungry? Probably.

But you get the picture. It's ok to admit we don't like doing something, but we do it anyway. That's just life! But my challenge to myself lately is to take the "it's just life" and live it big. So I'm flippin the script today, care to join me?