Mark 4:35-41
New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Calms the Storm
35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
This portion of scripture is one of my favorites because there is tons that we can take and apply to our lives. All the way from Jesus' ability to sleep in a great storm, to the disciples actually questioning His love for them...so much great stuff. But today I wanted to share a thought that I apparently jotted down years ago. I recently found a binder full of notes I'd written; some all the way from when I was probably 18 years old! Boy I was a dork. With my overall jeans and low heeled shoes and insanely short hair. And shiny shirts. Oy.
Regardless of my 18 year old awesome self, this thought really hit me recently as I read through many of kooky statements. Although I probably wrote this in my 20's, when my dorkiness turned into "hello my name is Jen, I may be 20 years old but I dress like I'm 35." Hey, wait. I'm almost 35 now and I dress fairly decent. If you can count my pajama pants and tank top I currently have on as decent. You know, I probably just need to move on here...
Back to the thought. Jesus rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Or PEACE, be still." The wind was the effect but the waves were the cause. Jesus dealt with the cause; He dealt with the source of the problem first, the wind. He rebuked the root of the issue. All the disciples were noticing was that the boat was filling with water, as a result of the waves jumping higher and higher. We do the same thing; we pay no attention to the cause, rather, we look at the effect. We forget there is a great wind(cause) when we are drowning in the waves(effect.) How often do we deal with the outer issue, rather than digging down deep to find the source of the problem, to get to the cause.
Jesus simply spoke peace to the manifestation (effect) of the cause, and it had to obey, because it's power was no more. Since Jesus had already rebuked the wind, the cause was crippled at the very root, therefore the waves had no choice BUT to obey, since the cause was no longer productive! Can I get an amen!
How can we apply that to our own lives today? Take any stronghold that you may be facing, this concept can be applied to it, therefore gaining a freedom this very day! Do you struggle with an unhealthy relationship towards food? Has that become a stronghold? I use this example as it's one I deal with and have dealt with for many years. If we ask God to show us the root of the struggle, we can ask Him to put His healing touch on that root, crippling it at the very core of the cause, therefore our new effect will not be sabotage of our diet, and eventually of our success, but rather we would begin to see food in a healthy manner, and for a purpose.
Is your marriage struggling? Get to the root of the cause, rebuke the cause, and let God bless your marriage with the most wonderful effect you could ever imagine having!
Do you battle insecurity? Find the root of the cause. From there, you can begin the healing process. Once you can expose the things that trigger your insecurity, the devil can no longer play games in that arena with you! Sure, you may fall to it now and again, but you will recognize it for what it is.
Do you have no direction? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Do you feel like your existence does not matter? Rebuke the cause! Take charge of the negative effects that are spilling out from your life...remember, the effect has to obey once the cause is dealt with. Does that mean you will instantly see new effects take place? Maybe not. And maybe so. Every person & every situation is different. But there is something to be said for having knowledge of the root issue. Once you can call that thing out, once you expose it for what it is, it takes the power away! It may be a process, and it may be something that just quickly changes for you. But regardless, getting to the root of the issue is the best way to go! There is such power in saying "the truth shall set you free!"
Do you need peace today? Rebuke the cause. Expose the devil for what he is, a fake. A phony. A liar. A devourer. A stinking, no good peace stealer. Rebuke him. And welcome the new effects of peace, joy, love, clarity of thought & direction!
I love this hymn: "peace, peace, wonderful peace. Flowing down, from the father above..."
Thank God for His peace. The peace that He gives in the midst of our storm. You may still go through the storm, but you can have peace as you do.
Psalm 29:11
New King James Version (NKJV)
11 The LORD will give strength to His people;
The LORD will bless His people with peace.
Well I hope that made sense. And if not, just blame my pajama pants.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Pride.
I read the following exceprt in Beth Moore's book about Praying God's Word. This is a great book! It's chock full of scriptures to pray us out of any stronghold we may face. Today, I'm reading about Pride. It's a stronghold that shows itself in so many different ways. When we hear the word "pride," we often assume it to mean that a person thinks they are just so super awesome and nobody can touch their awesomeness. But that's not always accurate! That's why I love what Beth (yes, we are on a first name basis, Beth & I, she's my long distance mentor, she just does not know it yet!) says here. Pride comes to us through many avenues...and it's something the Lord is shining light on in my own life. I wanted to share this:
"My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of 'me' to forgive
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out the window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in Heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on Earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me, you'll never know."
See yourself in any of that? Regretfully, I do.
Oh Lord, thank you for your light that shines ever so softly on the area's of our heart that need a work. You are so full of grace & mercy. I take delight in serving you Lord. Thank you for having me, Jesus.
"My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of 'me' to forgive
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out the window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in Heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on Earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me, you'll never know."
See yourself in any of that? Regretfully, I do.
Oh Lord, thank you for your light that shines ever so softly on the area's of our heart that need a work. You are so full of grace & mercy. I take delight in serving you Lord. Thank you for having me, Jesus.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Finger lickin good
It hit me tonight, on the way home from Kate's ballet class; hunger. The famished kind. Almost could have passed out. Ok, that's dramatic. But still. Well, turns out that I had trail mix left over in my cup holder from my Target trip earlier today, where I also was hungry, it was lunch time though, cut me some slack man! Back to my drive; I excitedly began to munch it tonight in the car, as it was just one of those delightful little joys in life where you think, man, that is so cool how that worked out! Like, the last few french fries in the bottom of the McD's bag. Good times. Or the left over slice of pizza in the fridge that nobody got to. Or your kid comes home with a really fun goody bag from a party! Do I have food issues? Nah. Well anyway, it had chocolate in it. And it had been sitting in the car since lunch time. Did that stop me? No. I kept gleefully eating the trail mix. Until my right hand was covered in chocolate. And I was 20 minutes away from my destination. And the wipes were way in the back seat. And no way could I lick the chocolate off my fingers, I'm so anti finger lickin. I would not be a poster child for KFC, cuz aint nothin taste that good to make me lick my fingers. See, no food issues here! I'm speaking by faith. So anyway, I drove the rest of the way one-handed. The moral of the story here is this: don't eat melted chocolate in the car. Unless you have wipes.
The end.
The end.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
A change will do you good
That song has been stuck in my head...but that's the only part I know! "A change, will do you good." Yep. That's all I know. I can't even tell you who the artist is. I suppose I could google it, but that would require to much finger tapping on the mouse and, well, don't wanna. So there. But regardless, I've been humming it all week!
I've posted on the topic of change before, but it always hits me in different ways. Fall is coming. The Crepe Myrtle tree (my fav) is starting to look not so pretty anymore...the evening temps are lower, it's getting dark quicker...all signs of fall. Fall gets me thinking about change, hence the song that I don't even know and don't know the artist being stuck in my head all week! Ah but I digress. Sheryl Crow? I think so. She seems nice. I love her hair.
Anyhoo. I shared on this topic Sunday at church, and I was reminded of when the iphone first came out. I was so anti the iphone! I had my little Razor phone and it was all I needed. Text and call. I'm good. Joey got one pretty early on, and I would fly into a panic every time I tried to figure that darn phone out! It was no use. I was like a fish outta water. A bird with no wings. Cereal with no milk. Playing Duck Duck Goose when nobody says "Goose." Sheryl Crow without her guitar as she sang about change. Or did she?
You get the picture. But, alas, the time came that I needed a new phone...and reluctantly, I caved into the iphone. And let me tell you friends that I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK! I have apps that track my food, track my moods, track my every blessed move. And i have not even tapped into the world of apps really. Point being, I use my phone now for quite a bit, it's extremely handy. I never knew I needed it until I had it. Did I "need" it? Well, no. But has it been handy? Yes.
Change. We don't like change! Very few people say how much they love change. Except Sheryl Crow. I think. But really, most people don't proclaim their love of change from the rooftops. "Good morning Change! I love you! I love being uncomfortable, I love stepping out into the unknown. I love not knowing what's around the corner. I love wondering where my paycheck is coming from now. I love not knowing which way to turn. I love using different shampoo." NO! Very few people can say they love change...that is, until they change.
Because once we change we think doggonit I wish I had embraced this before! Like the iphone. That's a silly analogy, I know. But makes a good point.
Changing, learning, making adjustments, all are part of growing. But so often we get stuck in the same place, we fear change, we fear the unknown outcome, and so we stay the same. We don't launch out into the deep. We don't tackle that weight problem we've battled for years. We don't fix that friendship. We don't start that new business or ministry. We don't change our attitude. We don't change the way we treat people. We don't set healthy boundaries for ourselves when we know full well we need to. Because we fear that the outcome won't be what we expect. Or we fear that we will fail anyway, so why try. And so we stay right where we are. The same.
Proverbs 1:5 says, "A wise man will hear and increase in learning." I want to be wise. I want to always be learning, always increasing in knowledge, always growing. But in order for that to happen, I have to embrace change. It's never easy. Never. But man, once you walk into it, you wish you had done it so much sooner.
As fall is fast approaching, join me in looking for some opportunities for change. If we don't look for them, we just might miss them. Take the advice of my friend Sheryl, a change will do you good!
I've posted on the topic of change before, but it always hits me in different ways. Fall is coming. The Crepe Myrtle tree (my fav) is starting to look not so pretty anymore...the evening temps are lower, it's getting dark quicker...all signs of fall. Fall gets me thinking about change, hence the song that I don't even know and don't know the artist being stuck in my head all week! Ah but I digress. Sheryl Crow? I think so. She seems nice. I love her hair.
Anyhoo. I shared on this topic Sunday at church, and I was reminded of when the iphone first came out. I was so anti the iphone! I had my little Razor phone and it was all I needed. Text and call. I'm good. Joey got one pretty early on, and I would fly into a panic every time I tried to figure that darn phone out! It was no use. I was like a fish outta water. A bird with no wings. Cereal with no milk. Playing Duck Duck Goose when nobody says "Goose." Sheryl Crow without her guitar as she sang about change. Or did she?
You get the picture. But, alas, the time came that I needed a new phone...and reluctantly, I caved into the iphone. And let me tell you friends that I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK! I have apps that track my food, track my moods, track my every blessed move. And i have not even tapped into the world of apps really. Point being, I use my phone now for quite a bit, it's extremely handy. I never knew I needed it until I had it. Did I "need" it? Well, no. But has it been handy? Yes.
Change. We don't like change! Very few people say how much they love change. Except Sheryl Crow. I think. But really, most people don't proclaim their love of change from the rooftops. "Good morning Change! I love you! I love being uncomfortable, I love stepping out into the unknown. I love not knowing what's around the corner. I love wondering where my paycheck is coming from now. I love not knowing which way to turn. I love using different shampoo." NO! Very few people can say they love change...that is, until they change.
Because once we change we think doggonit I wish I had embraced this before! Like the iphone. That's a silly analogy, I know. But makes a good point.
Changing, learning, making adjustments, all are part of growing. But so often we get stuck in the same place, we fear change, we fear the unknown outcome, and so we stay the same. We don't launch out into the deep. We don't tackle that weight problem we've battled for years. We don't fix that friendship. We don't start that new business or ministry. We don't change our attitude. We don't change the way we treat people. We don't set healthy boundaries for ourselves when we know full well we need to. Because we fear that the outcome won't be what we expect. Or we fear that we will fail anyway, so why try. And so we stay right where we are. The same.
Proverbs 1:5 says, "A wise man will hear and increase in learning." I want to be wise. I want to always be learning, always increasing in knowledge, always growing. But in order for that to happen, I have to embrace change. It's never easy. Never. But man, once you walk into it, you wish you had done it so much sooner.
As fall is fast approaching, join me in looking for some opportunities for change. If we don't look for them, we just might miss them. Take the advice of my friend Sheryl, a change will do you good!
Monday, April 11, 2011
I just knew...
Good gravy, I've only been posting on this blog once a month! How can I expect to remember anything if I don't get it written down? I'm finding that my memory is not so awesome. I remember random stuff, but not important stuff! I need something to boost my memory. Anyhow, that's not the point of the post. What is the point you ask? I dunno. It will come to me. Eventually. Any second. In a minute. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Crickets.
Ok, let me just start with a scripture I've been loving lately:
Ephesians 4:1 " I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called..."
I quite like verses 2-3 as well, but that first part grabs my attention. What are you called to do?
It's funny, ever since I became a Christian at age 14, I always knew that I would do something for the Lord with my entire life. I had no idea what that was, but as I went through high school, and contemplated college/career choices, I just new that I would not take a path that led to a career, so to speak. I never had a defining moment, that I recall anyway, where I felt I had received a call from God for a specific path, I just knew. I just knew. I gravitated towards evangelism, towards Missions, towards youth ministry, but never had a specific calling, if you will. I just knew. And so I walked through doors that opened, in whatever particular arena of ministry it was, just walked...because I knew! I knew that I would not go to college, majoring in journalism, as my Grandfather had wished I would have. And I would have done anything for him, he was my bumpa, he is the reason for the name of this blog! I remember his disappointment when I told him that I decided to go to Bible College. Because I knew. I knew that I needed to have more Bible training than I had at the time, I knew that it would be far more useful to me than anything else...for me, anyway. I'd never been much of a student anyhow, so long term schooling never appealed to me. I'm not very smart, and I'm ok with that! But I love Jesus. And I love His Word. And so for that reason, I loved Bible College.
So I went to Bible College (while being heavily involved in youth ministry, loved that! I had the best youth pastors anyone could ever have! And that's really a whole other post in itself, I would not be the person I am today if not for them, and I don't mean that I'm super awesome, I just mean that I can actually function like a normal human being!) Then after that I went to England for a time to work in my Aunt's church doing missions & evangelism type of stuff. I enjoyed that too!
Then I came back home and eventually met my handsome husband. I did work a secular job at the time, and did ministry with him whenever I could. Loved that time in life too!
And now we Pastor a church. And I have tears in my eyes as I type this because I am so in love with this time in life that I am at a loss for words as to why the Lord is so good to use me. I dunno. The door opened, and we walked. And I'm so thankful for it. I guess if I've ever felt so sure about my calling, this would be it. I know it sounds hokey to say, but it's just what I'm feeling at the moment. I want to live that scripture, a life worthy of the calling with which you have received.
So what do you feel called to today? It does not have to necessarily have a job title! We are called to love Jesus. To love people, to serve them with every ounce of our being. Where are you at in life, that you can serve someone else? Jesus said that "the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." so as we strive to live a life worthy of our calling, I reckon we need to be like Jesus, and simply serve.
Oh gosh, I'm on a tangent now, forgive me. But I have to share verses 2-3.
Ephesians 1-3."I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
I take that to mean this: I'm called to love people. I'm called to be humble, to be gentle with everyone, not to speak my mind just for the sake of getting my "opinion" out there. To bear with people, over and over and over and over...to love. And through doing that, there will be peace in every situation & every relationship that I walk into.
I needed to hear that today.
And tangent done. Phew! Have a great day fellow sojourners!
Ok, let me just start with a scripture I've been loving lately:
Ephesians 4:1 " I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called..."
I quite like verses 2-3 as well, but that first part grabs my attention. What are you called to do?
It's funny, ever since I became a Christian at age 14, I always knew that I would do something for the Lord with my entire life. I had no idea what that was, but as I went through high school, and contemplated college/career choices, I just new that I would not take a path that led to a career, so to speak. I never had a defining moment, that I recall anyway, where I felt I had received a call from God for a specific path, I just knew. I just knew. I gravitated towards evangelism, towards Missions, towards youth ministry, but never had a specific calling, if you will. I just knew. And so I walked through doors that opened, in whatever particular arena of ministry it was, just walked...because I knew! I knew that I would not go to college, majoring in journalism, as my Grandfather had wished I would have. And I would have done anything for him, he was my bumpa, he is the reason for the name of this blog! I remember his disappointment when I told him that I decided to go to Bible College. Because I knew. I knew that I needed to have more Bible training than I had at the time, I knew that it would be far more useful to me than anything else...for me, anyway. I'd never been much of a student anyhow, so long term schooling never appealed to me. I'm not very smart, and I'm ok with that! But I love Jesus. And I love His Word. And so for that reason, I loved Bible College.
So I went to Bible College (while being heavily involved in youth ministry, loved that! I had the best youth pastors anyone could ever have! And that's really a whole other post in itself, I would not be the person I am today if not for them, and I don't mean that I'm super awesome, I just mean that I can actually function like a normal human being!) Then after that I went to England for a time to work in my Aunt's church doing missions & evangelism type of stuff. I enjoyed that too!
Then I came back home and eventually met my handsome husband. I did work a secular job at the time, and did ministry with him whenever I could. Loved that time in life too!
And now we Pastor a church. And I have tears in my eyes as I type this because I am so in love with this time in life that I am at a loss for words as to why the Lord is so good to use me. I dunno. The door opened, and we walked. And I'm so thankful for it. I guess if I've ever felt so sure about my calling, this would be it. I know it sounds hokey to say, but it's just what I'm feeling at the moment. I want to live that scripture, a life worthy of the calling with which you have received.
So what do you feel called to today? It does not have to necessarily have a job title! We are called to love Jesus. To love people, to serve them with every ounce of our being. Where are you at in life, that you can serve someone else? Jesus said that "the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." so as we strive to live a life worthy of our calling, I reckon we need to be like Jesus, and simply serve.
Oh gosh, I'm on a tangent now, forgive me. But I have to share verses 2-3.
Ephesians 1-3."I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
I take that to mean this: I'm called to love people. I'm called to be humble, to be gentle with everyone, not to speak my mind just for the sake of getting my "opinion" out there. To bear with people, over and over and over and over...to love. And through doing that, there will be peace in every situation & every relationship that I walk into.
I needed to hear that today.
And tangent done. Phew! Have a great day fellow sojourners!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Lily Picadilly
My girls have tons of nicknames, I believe I've done a post about it before actually...but am too lazy to look for it! I just had to get this documented for future ref. Lily is showing me how she "skates" on the floor and I was cheering her on, "Go Lily!" She stopped and said, "my name is not Lily, my name is Putt Putt." That's one of her nicknames, Putt Putt. Putter, Putt Putt. She answers to any variation of it! So I wonder, does she really think that's her name? We do call her that often. Hmm. Lily Picadilly. That's another one. Skallywag. Rapscallion. But when I'm really trying to get Lily's attention, good old "Lily Rae" is usually the way to go.
Joei Kate, well, since she has changed her name to Kate, has quite a few new names. Kater Bater. Katie Bug. I often call her "my little Kate Kate." Skallywag. Rapscallion. Bear. All sorts...But, when trying to get her attention, she's Joei Kate.
What are some nicknames y'all have?
Joei Kate, well, since she has changed her name to Kate, has quite a few new names. Kater Bater. Katie Bug. I often call her "my little Kate Kate." Skallywag. Rapscallion. Bear. All sorts...But, when trying to get her attention, she's Joei Kate.
What are some nicknames y'all have?
Monday, February 7, 2011
Bummer Deal
Lily & I were just at Walmart, getting a few things we needed to get us through the week, God bless Walmart and their low prices. I am thankful for that store when I go early in the morning, when I go later, I despise the place! But today, it was early so all was well with my soul.
Anyway, that is not the point of this post, but somehow I just gravitate towards a Walmart rant!
So as I was in the produce section, gearing up to purchase some banana's from the low price leader, an older gentlemen looked at me, and I could tell he was trying to process my face. He apologized for doing a double take, said I looked like his daughter, but that there was no way she would be there shopping as she does not live near here. I continued to see him throughout the rest of my trip, making awkward corny jokes, as you do when you see someone that you had a small convo with, but yet you don't know them. You know the kind. You see them at the end of the aisle and think oh gee, what can I say now in regards to me being his daughter. I think at one point he jokingly called me daughter and I do believe I responded with "have a great day dad!" Yes, it was that cheezy and that bad. Leave it to Walmart to bring that out of me.
Of course, he was behind me in the check out line, because well, the awkwardness had to finish out the trip right? So as I was walking away from my pretend dad, something within me began to well up with emotion. It was the bizarrest thing. I started to tear up thinking gosh, that must be so cool to have a dad. Walmart has seen many of my emotions, tearing up though probably was not one of them! But alas, there I was, feeling emotional and a tad sad that I did not have the relationship that an earthly Father should present to their daughter.
My dad is now gone from this earth, and we did not have much of a relationship to speak of anyway, the time I did have with him is not looked upon with fondness, unfortunately. Although we were able to have a wonderful time of reconciliation before his death, and I thank the Lord for that hour I spent with him, but that's a different post for another time! I'm curious to see what the Lord has for our relationship when I get to Heaven.
I also have a step-dad that I've not seen in years. I often wonder what he is up to these days. But anyway, that too is another post!
The fact remains that I do not currently have a relationship with any father, and that's a bummer. Now, I don't think about it on a daily basis, or even on a weekly basis, really I don't think of that lack very often. But to be fair, there are moments every now and again that I think man, I wish I had a dad. A good dad. Bummer deal.
Yes, God has most definitely become my Father. He has given me joy, peace, security, all those things that an earthly dad is supposed to provide for his daughter, God has been that to me. He has given me double for my trouble, He has given me a life I never thought I'd get to enjoy! Having said that, I'm human. So as long as I live in this earthly shell of a body, there will always be that tiny hole that was left by my father. Has God healed me of the hurt caused by my dad? Yes. Has God filled every void in my life with His wonderful presence? Of course He has. But God created this little girl with an earthly longing for a father, and since that does not exist on this earth, there will be the occasional twinge of sadness for that loss. And I think that is ok. It's ok with God. And it's ok with me.
I think sometimes, we as Christians, think we succumb to some sort of defeat if we allow ourselves to feel any negative emotion, especially a negative emotion that God has sought to free us from. My walk with the Lord is a special one to me, very special. We have the most intimate conversations, nobody knows me like Jesus does. I am thankful for the victory that He has given me over the years, victory in so many areas. He is precious to me, and He is, indeed, my Father. I am not bitter at my dad, I'm not angry at him, I have no un-forgiveness in my heart towards him, so I don't know about you, but that says "Victory" to me! Do I take back that victory by having a few moments of sadness over something I missed out on? No. Absolutely not. Does it diminish anything God has done in my life, any healing He has done in my heart? No. Absolutely not.
The Bible says that "weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning." Sure, I was sad there at Walmart today...but am I going to stay sad? No. That my friends, is where the victory lies. Yes, it's a bummer that I don't have a dad. I sure wish I did. That would be super cool! But I don't. Bummer deal. But I'm choosing to keep going with my head held high! I'm choosing to keep being the daughter that any dad would be proud to have! Because God has made me that way. I want to be the best daughter for the Lord, because He has given me a purpose and something to do in this life. I think I make God proud. I could not have said that years ago, but now, as the Lord has done so much healing in my life, I think He looks at me and says "my sweet, kind, beautiful daughter, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud."
And He says that for you to. No matter what area in your life it is that may occasionally cause you sadness, there is victory for you too. Just because it saddens you sometimes, doesn't diminish your victory. Nope. I dunno, but maybe, just maybe it strengthens it. Because it's in the moments like I had today, that I realize just how far God has brought me. I realize just how much I'm loved. And I realize just how human I am. And that's ok.
Anyway, that is not the point of this post, but somehow I just gravitate towards a Walmart rant!
So as I was in the produce section, gearing up to purchase some banana's from the low price leader, an older gentlemen looked at me, and I could tell he was trying to process my face. He apologized for doing a double take, said I looked like his daughter, but that there was no way she would be there shopping as she does not live near here. I continued to see him throughout the rest of my trip, making awkward corny jokes, as you do when you see someone that you had a small convo with, but yet you don't know them. You know the kind. You see them at the end of the aisle and think oh gee, what can I say now in regards to me being his daughter. I think at one point he jokingly called me daughter and I do believe I responded with "have a great day dad!" Yes, it was that cheezy and that bad. Leave it to Walmart to bring that out of me.
Of course, he was behind me in the check out line, because well, the awkwardness had to finish out the trip right? So as I was walking away from my pretend dad, something within me began to well up with emotion. It was the bizarrest thing. I started to tear up thinking gosh, that must be so cool to have a dad. Walmart has seen many of my emotions, tearing up though probably was not one of them! But alas, there I was, feeling emotional and a tad sad that I did not have the relationship that an earthly Father should present to their daughter.
My dad is now gone from this earth, and we did not have much of a relationship to speak of anyway, the time I did have with him is not looked upon with fondness, unfortunately. Although we were able to have a wonderful time of reconciliation before his death, and I thank the Lord for that hour I spent with him, but that's a different post for another time! I'm curious to see what the Lord has for our relationship when I get to Heaven.
I also have a step-dad that I've not seen in years. I often wonder what he is up to these days. But anyway, that too is another post!
The fact remains that I do not currently have a relationship with any father, and that's a bummer. Now, I don't think about it on a daily basis, or even on a weekly basis, really I don't think of that lack very often. But to be fair, there are moments every now and again that I think man, I wish I had a dad. A good dad. Bummer deal.
Yes, God has most definitely become my Father. He has given me joy, peace, security, all those things that an earthly dad is supposed to provide for his daughter, God has been that to me. He has given me double for my trouble, He has given me a life I never thought I'd get to enjoy! Having said that, I'm human. So as long as I live in this earthly shell of a body, there will always be that tiny hole that was left by my father. Has God healed me of the hurt caused by my dad? Yes. Has God filled every void in my life with His wonderful presence? Of course He has. But God created this little girl with an earthly longing for a father, and since that does not exist on this earth, there will be the occasional twinge of sadness for that loss. And I think that is ok. It's ok with God. And it's ok with me.
I think sometimes, we as Christians, think we succumb to some sort of defeat if we allow ourselves to feel any negative emotion, especially a negative emotion that God has sought to free us from. My walk with the Lord is a special one to me, very special. We have the most intimate conversations, nobody knows me like Jesus does. I am thankful for the victory that He has given me over the years, victory in so many areas. He is precious to me, and He is, indeed, my Father. I am not bitter at my dad, I'm not angry at him, I have no un-forgiveness in my heart towards him, so I don't know about you, but that says "Victory" to me! Do I take back that victory by having a few moments of sadness over something I missed out on? No. Absolutely not. Does it diminish anything God has done in my life, any healing He has done in my heart? No. Absolutely not.
The Bible says that "weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning." Sure, I was sad there at Walmart today...but am I going to stay sad? No. That my friends, is where the victory lies. Yes, it's a bummer that I don't have a dad. I sure wish I did. That would be super cool! But I don't. Bummer deal. But I'm choosing to keep going with my head held high! I'm choosing to keep being the daughter that any dad would be proud to have! Because God has made me that way. I want to be the best daughter for the Lord, because He has given me a purpose and something to do in this life. I think I make God proud. I could not have said that years ago, but now, as the Lord has done so much healing in my life, I think He looks at me and says "my sweet, kind, beautiful daughter, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud."
And He says that for you to. No matter what area in your life it is that may occasionally cause you sadness, there is victory for you too. Just because it saddens you sometimes, doesn't diminish your victory. Nope. I dunno, but maybe, just maybe it strengthens it. Because it's in the moments like I had today, that I realize just how far God has brought me. I realize just how much I'm loved. And I realize just how human I am. And that's ok.
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