Maternal Ramblings

Beware, this is a post from a woman about to birth a child in a week...I cannot be held responsible for any crazy talk!

I took Joei to the park across the street today, just to get her some exercise, and basically because I can just sit there like the beached whale I've become. Well, I really just enjoyed watching her interact with the other kids today. She is a real compassionate kid, real friendly as well. I just sat there with such pride over the little person she is becoming! Call me biased, but she really is a neat kid. I love the qualities she has and the character she seems to be developing.

I have been hit before with the reality of what it is to parent a child, but today it was in a different realm. I feel like I am truly embracing my calling at this time, and that is to be a mom. I honestly want nothing more right now, than to raise my kids, to watch how they grow, and to pray that I can leave them with something more than just my chin. (Yes folks, that is really all Joei has of mine, oh and bless her heart I think she has my feet.)

Inheritance. It is my job as a parent to impart anything I have learned, any gifting I have been given, anything I am, to my children. What good is life experience if its not shared? What good is a gift if it is not given away? I want to leave my children with an inheritance, and I don't mean monetary...granted I hope that is there for them as well, but there is so much more than that. I can only pray that my life is an example to my kids, that they would want to be like me. Not that I am anything, by an stretch, but rather, they would see the nothing in me, and know that God takes that nothing, and he does something with it. Auh now how is that for a run-on sentence. Again, I plead pregnant.

I don't know what came over me today at the park, but I honestly feel a fresh wind has come over me. And perhaps not a moment too soon. In a matter of 10 days I will have a newborn baby. That thought has freaked me out for awhile now but I can honestly say that I think things are gonna be alright! I think we just might make it after all. And I hope, and I pray, that one day my children will feel the exact same way that I do right now. Not necessarily that they have kids of their own, though I would love that of course, but that they would fulfill whatever dreams God gives them in life. And they would know that no matter what comes their way, God will always help them to achieve those dreams. Because at the end of the day, they can look at their mama, and they will know that God took a nothing, and He did something...

The stuff dreams are made of

So, in case you were wondering if indeed I am pregnant, perhaps my afternoon snack is proof that I am telling the truth, (pay no attention to the banana's in the corner, they mean nothing!)

His eye is on the sparrow

I heard this song in church the other day, and man did it bring back memories. I wish I could find the original artist, or at least the person I remember singing it, but this does the trick. Just take a minute to listen to the words, and to reflect on all the times that God not only took care of the sparrow, but the times that He took care of you as well!

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Faith of a mustard seed

The faith of children never ceases to amaze me. Last night, Extreme Makeover Home Edition was airing a re-run episode about a little 8 year old girl battling cancer, and Joei happened to glance up at the TV. She asked why the little girl had no hair, so we talked about her being sick with cancer, and then we prayed for her. Well this morning she woke up, came into the living room and asked me if the little girl had gotten better. Joei has this amazing faith, that the moment she prays, well heck, it's done. Imagine that. Anytime she prays for me to feel better, or anyone else for that matter, she assumes it's all good. If I complain again about something she will remind me that "mama we already prayed!"

Yes Joei, yes we did. Why can't we be that way? After all, that is how the Bible tells us to live right? Say the prayer, and trust that God will answer it in the way that will best suit our path.

In the instance of that sweet girl named Boey on Extreme Makeover, they said that she had lost her battle with cancer this last December. I cannot imagine the grief of her parents, I'm sure there are no words for it. But that little 8 year old girl left a mark bigger than alot of "grown" people ever will, what an amazing legacy she leaves. She had said on the show that she prays alot because it helps her; she prays for her healing. Well, she is fully healed now. That is what is so amazing about prayer. We don't know how it will turn out. It may not turn out the way we expect or want it to. But that is where the faith of a child is so powerful, and if we can but grasp just a tiny portion of that, we can leave all our anxiety at the door.

Matthew 19:14 says, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Matthew 17:20-21 says, ... "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. "

I just can't resist posting this picture!

Acceptance

Life has been a whirlwind of emotions around here...all good, but a whirlwind nonetheless. Anyway, I found this excerpt awhile back, LOVE it, and thought I would share. It's by an author called Veronica Shoffstall.

" After awhile you learn the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul; you learn that life does not mean leaning, and company does not always mean security; you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts and presents are not promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head high and your eyes ahead, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain, for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns, if you get too much. You learn to plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers; and you learn that (by God's sustaining grace,) you can really endure; that you really are strong; and that you really do have worth. "

God is good...all the time!

I have heard that saying SO many times...I even have a clock that says it. Get it? All the "time," get it, get it...ha?! Anyway, dorky statements aside, God truly is good, all the time. I'm sitting here in an attitude of thankfulness to God today. Sometimes I am just filled with such an awe of the Lord and all that He has done in my life. Of course, most days, I forget to thank God...I ask Him for stuff. God do this, God do that...God I need this, God I need that...blech! It's a wonder God keeps the phone line open!

But He does. Jeremiah 33:3 says, "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things..." I like that verse, kind of like God giving us His number. "Just call me," God says, and I will show you things. Things that God will do to get that answer your way; things that maybe we need to do in order to receive that answer; or the "other" answer, NO. Or worse yet, WAIT! I think I would rather get a NO than a WAIT. Ugh. Who wants to wait for anything?! It amazes me though, how detailed God is. He knows the desires of our heart, and the Bible tells us that if we delight in Him, that He will give us those desires. As we delight in Him, our focus is drawn heavenward, so that our desires truly are what God desires for our lives. And He knows how to make them come to pass. He has the ability to so strategically line things up in our lives so that everything meshes at just the right time, simply to meet our need.

It sure is nice to know that God is in control of EVERYTHING. That when we can't trace God, we can trust Him. When we cannot see the end of the trial we are going through; or the problem seems to big for anyone to handle, we can trust that God is in the business of working all things together for our good. All things. That means every single thing that happens in our lives, be it good, bad or indifferent, God's word promises to work it all out for our good, for those that love God. Auhhh.

Maybe that is why I feel such a thankfulness today. Maybe today, if just for today, I think I actually am resting in that concept. God really is good...all the time.