J's Away...

Certain Women

2012-01-11T09:03:00.000-08:00

Luke 8:1-3
"Now it came to pass, afterward, that He went through every city and village, preaching and bringing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God. And the twelve were with Him, 2 and certain women who had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities—Mary called Magdalene, out of whom had come seven demons, 3 and Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod’s steward, and Susanna, and many others who provided for Him from their substance."

I love this passage of Scripture! "Certain women" were following Jesus, as well as the disciples. Mary, Joanna & Susanna are mentioned in this portion, however, I imagine there were tons of others as well. They had experienced the love of Jesus and could not help but follow Him.

I have always loved the unique attributes that women possess. I love the characteristics that set us apart from men. I love that we are emotional and nurturing and talkative! I love when I see women interact with one another; I enjoy watching facial expressions while ladies talk and I love, love, love to see emotion. I bet Jesus did too. I bet He marveled at the species that God had created with such precision, not making a mistake in the slightest. I bet Jesus thought, way to go Dad, you done good!

Women are special. And yet, if you were to ask a group of women how many of them felt that way, nary a hand would be raised. Why? Well, there is a plethora of reasons but I think it boils down to this: we have forgotten that we are of the "Certain Women!"

If Jesus walked this earth in the flesh, you bet I'd be running to follow Him. Can you imagine what stuff they saw? And furthermore, can you imagine what a help those certain women must have been to Jesus. Had he been traveling simply with the disciples, I'd venture to say that Jesus would not have ate too well and His clothes would have been filthy! I'm sure the women there helped to meet the practical needs of Jesus, the passage of Scripture above confirms that, saying they provided for Him from their substance. But beyond the practical, I imagine the women to be the glue that held that group together, as we women do. They loved on people, they hugged, they laughed, they cried, they listened intently. No doubt they offered wisdom in areas that the men were unable to offer it. And again, I bet Jesus loved it.

He always was kind to women. He knew how special they were. In a culture that placed little to no value on women, Jesus wanted them around Him. He loved them. And He knew that they too were created for a purpose. He knew that they too had plans and gifts and talents and things that could be offered to the world. And so it was that certain women were there. Doing what we women do.

Obviously I can't follow His fleshly body today, but oh how I can follow Jesus. Oh how I can do my best to live for Him. Oh how I can do my best to be kind, to love deeply, to listen clearly, to serve wherever there is a need. My prayer today is that we women would realize that indeed we are part of the "certain women" that Jesus longs to have near Him. All of our flaws, all of our weakness', all of our quirky habits, He longs to have us with Him. Created in His image, to do something pretty cool with our lives. Because we have value. We are "Certain Woman."

Alone

2012-01-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

Psalm 62:5
My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.

The Psalmist is telling himself to wait, quiet down. Be still. Too wait for God alone. God is who I need. God is the one with the answer. God is the one that will make the way. I don’t need to look to everyone else, I need to look to God, because, MY EXPECTATION is from Him.

What I expect Him to do, only He can do.

In the book of Genesis we read about Jacob and a time that He wrestled with God.

Genesis 32:24 says, “Then Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with Him until the breaking of day.”

He was alone. His soul was waiting on God.

Jacob was returning to meet his brother Esau, who had become very rich. Esau had been blessed abundantly in the things of the world. He had authority and power to take all that Jacob had and to take vengeance on him. Jacob knew this. He also knew that there was only one way of deliverance, and that was that God would show him favor. He knew he needed God to intervene in this situation. God intervenes when conflict arises.

Our church is embarking on a 21 day fast tomorrow. We did it last year, for the first time, and look forward to this becoming a tradition each year. It’s when we get alone with God, when we set ourselves apart, as we are focusing on for these next 21 days, it’s in these times that we have the ability to see tremendous victory!

Jacob said, I will not let go unless you bless me! He was in a dark place and he knew without God’s intervention, he would not make it.

No matter where you find yourself today, press on. If you are in a dark place, press on. If you are sick in body, press on. If you need an answer from Heaven, press on. Dig down deep and hold fast to that strong will that’s inside all of us and press on until you get the victory. It may not come swiftly, but surely it will come.

Jacob wrestled all night with the Lord and in the end, God honored his determination. He blessed him. And when Jacob met Esau it was a wonderful reunion. Jacob sought after God’s will, after His favor. Will you? Will you seek to be in His will today? This 21 day fast has the potential to shave off the muck & mire we so easily get ourselves engrossed in. It’s a wrestling match, our will vs. God’s will. And in the end, when we tell our soul to wait quietly for the Lord, we not only will learn a whole lot about ourselves and become a better person, we not only will develop a greater love for people, but everything we expect God to do, our faith will grow to believe that He will do it.

You are not your past

2012-01-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

You are not your past. I am not my past. Sure, the history that has been my life plays a role, but it does not have to define me. We have certain quirks & habits about us, some that have been brought on by genetics and some that have been brought on by self; but they don't define me. Because I am not my past. You are not your past. We look a certain way, and we talk a certain way, and we have certain mannerisms, but that does not define us. That is not the sum of who we are.

The decisions we have made are powerful, of course, but they don't define us. While yes, it's true that our next step hangs on the hinges of our next decision and yes, it can be life altering for the good or the bad, BUT, it does not have to define us. It's up to you. And it's up to me.

We have all made poor choices in life; we have all said and done things that if given the chance to go back, we certainly would correct those things. But since we don't get the option of a re-do per se, we have to take today for what it is. And today is a day bathed in mercy, if we'll accept it. Today is a day bathed in grace, if we'll accept it. Today is a page that is yet to be written. You can choose today to be your past, or you can choose today to be your future!

I love Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Even in the midst of our worst choice, even perhaps when we did not know God, even while doing that very thing that we would change if given the opportunity, even then, Jeremiah 29:11 was still Jeremiah 29:11. Even in our past, God's thoughts toward us were peace. They were good and not evil. He still had a plan and a purpose for us. Even then.

And so in the today that we have been given, we make the choice. We either live in the past and allow our history to define us. Or we look at today and say "God, your will and not mine."

His mercies are new every morning. It's a new day, He is the God of new beginnings and this can be the best day of the rest of our lives, because of the amazing grace of God.

Let's not live another day in the valley of regret. Let's not allow the devil to make our mind a playground of our past mistakes or miseries. I am not my past. You are not your past.

It's a new day. The choice is yours. The choice is mine.

Refuge

2011-11-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy 33:27 says, "The eternal God is your refuge, and His everlasting arms are under you." Doesn't that paint such a beautiful picture for you? It does for me. Having grown up without a good father figure, I often picture myself with Jesus, doing "fatherly" things. I will close my eyes during worship and picture myself curled up in Jesus' lap, as my girls do with my husband. I just imagine that to be the most peaceful, safest place of refuge anyone could ever experience!

The word "refuge" can be translated "mansion" or "abiding place," which makes us think of our home. Well, I guess "mansion" is not the first word that comes to my mind when I think of home, but abiding place sure does! Although, our new home is a mansion to us. The Lord did a miracle for us over the summer and blessed us with a home that literally goes above and beyond all we could have ever asked for or thought for ourselves. It was as if God jumped right into our hearts and pulled out every last little desire for a house that we had so deep in our hearts, and just went "Voila!" The way the Lord worked all the details out, well, it's nothing short of a miracle.

That being said, we love being home. It truly is our "refuge." There is something to be said for the statement of Dorothy that cries out, "There is no place like home." I've been different places and thought to myself, oh how I wish I had on some ruby red slippers because I just want to go home! No place like it. Even when the girls are fighting and/or playing really loud, there is still such a peace in the house, a peace that I did not have in any home growing up. I'm so glad my girls get to live in a peaceful environment, one where mom & dad love each other, have fun together; a home where there is no fighting and shouting...just a refuge.

Home is a place of comfort. In our home, we pretty much always where our "cozies." As soon as we walk in the door, if we don't have plans to leave the house again, (and who am I kidding, even if I do have plans to leave again) off go the outside clothes and on go the cozies. We save loads of money in dry cleaning this way! But it's just cozy! You put on some cozy jammie pants and a shirt...nowadays you gotta throw on the sweatshirt too, but still, cozy. Our girls can always tell when Joey has somewhere to go and they plead for him to get on his cozies!

Home is a place of safety. It's a place of comfort. It's a place of rest, of peace, of joy. So if that is our earthly refuge from the outside world, how much more of a refuge is the Lord? He is our shelter and our retreat; He is our abiding refuge. As psalm 23 tells us, we can fear no evil when we are abiding in our refuge.

At home we let our guard down don't we? We just let loose and feel the freedom to relax without fear of anyone misconstruing our words or taking something the way it was not intended. We just are free. How much more free can we be with the Lord? That we could speak our hearts cry out to Him, knowing that He won't take our words out of context; He won't judge us for what we say or think. He knows the very deep recess' of our heart already, so we can take refuge in that...we can just be free.

I read this today by Spurgeon:

"Home is the place of our truest and purest happiness. It is in God that our hearts find their deepest delight. We have joy in Him that far surpasses all other joy. It is also for home that we work and labor. The thought of it gives strength to bear the daily burdens and quickens the fingers to perform the task; in this sense, we may also say that God is our home. Love for Him strengthens us. We think of Him in the person of His dear Son, and a glimpse of the suffering face of the Redeemer constrains us to labor in His cause."

Take a moment today to thank God for the refuge that He provides for us; a refuge from the craziness of the world; a refuge from the fear & worry that so quickly try to beset us. I love Jesus. And He loves me. And if home is where the heart is, then I'm relaxing for just a little while longer...

Get into position!

2011-11-03T10:22:00.000-07:00

Malachi 3:6 says, "I am the Lord, and I do not change." That verse is awesome! Life is full of change. So much so, that I'm tired of hearing myself say that so often. Change, change, change. But amidst the changes of life, it brings me such joy to know that God Himself will never change. He does not need to change. He does not need to work on His issues, like we do! He does not need to control His temper. He does not need to try to be kind while pummeling through a crowd at wal-mart, not that I've ever personally had trouble with that, nope. He does not need to check His motives, or the content of His heart. He does not need to grump at the driver that cut Him off on the road, even though that person can't hear said grumping; not that I've ever done that either ;)

He does not need to change! He is perfect. He is all knowing. He is powerful. He is my stability. He is my deliverer. He is the creator of Heaven and Earth. He does not need to change. He is my desire. He is my fortress. He will send His angels to protect me and to guard me in all my ways. He will set my foot on a rock! He will keep me from slipping into a pit. He does not need to change! He will collect my tears. He sees my need. He hears my prayers. He is preparing the answer to my prayers, even now. He desires good things for my life! He does not need to change! He is my provider. He is my defender. He is my King! He is my dad. He is my hero. He is my best friend. He is lovely. He is beautiful. He is kind. He is gentle. He is gracious. HE DOES NOT NEED TO CHANGE!

I love it. Everything changes. The earth. Space. The ocean. Our bodies. Our families. Our friends. Church. Work. Our homes. Our cars. Our lives. It all changes. But not God. He never changes. His ways are the same today as they were before the foundation of this earth was made!

And because of that fact, we can face any kind of adversity and come out of on the other side, with our head held high, because God never changed. We experience change in adversity, but God does not. He is the same as He ever was. We can rest on that anchor of truth; "I am the Lord and I change not!"

When we grab hold of that glorious truth, we find our stability. We can have that stability in the midst of anything we face. ANYTHING we face. Because James 1:17 says of the Lord that "there is no variation or shadow of turning." Meaning God is not even thinking of changing! No matter what you face, no matter what you have done, He is not even thinking of changing His position. And His position is Love, everlasting love at that (Jeremiah 31:3.) His position is peace. His position is grace & mercy. His position is provision. His position is way-making. His position is wisdom. His position is justice. His position is safety (Nah 1:7.) His position is truth. And that, my friends, will never change.

He loves you now as much as He ever did. Regardless of what you have done. Regardless of the toll life has taken. Regardless of the crisis you have faced. He loves you the same. Because He never changes. And He has no intention of doing so.

Now that gives me peace today. That helps me say like St. Paul said, "having done all, stand." Whatever you are facing today, whatever lemons life is throwing at you, stand. Stand. Stand. STAND! Because the never changing God is standing with you. All His attributes are with Him. No better place to be, then standing with the One who never changes.

Thank you Jesus.

Cause & Effect

2011-09-15T12:29:00.001-07:00

Mark 4:35-41
New International Version (NIV)
Jesus Calms the Storm

35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

This portion of scripture is one of my favorites because there is tons that we can take and apply to our lives. All the way from Jesus' ability to sleep in a great storm, to the disciples actually questioning His love for them...so much great stuff. But today I wanted to share a thought that I apparently jotted down years ago. I recently found a binder full of notes I'd written; some all the way from when I was probably 18 years old! Boy I was a dork. With my overall jeans and low heeled shoes and insanely short hair. And shiny shirts. Oy.

Regardless of my 18 year old awesome self, this thought really hit me recently as I read through many of kooky statements. Although I probably wrote this in my 20's, when my dorkiness turned into "hello my name is Jen, I may be 20 years old but I dress like I'm 35." Hey, wait. I'm almost 35 now and I dress fairly decent. If you can count my pajama pants and tank top I currently have on as decent. You know, I probably just need to move on here...

Back to the thought. Jesus rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Or PEACE, be still." The wind was the effect but the waves were the cause. Jesus dealt with the cause; He dealt with the source of the problem first, the wind. He rebuked the root of the issue. All the disciples were noticing was that the boat was filling with water, as a result of the waves jumping higher and higher. We do the same thing; we pay no attention to the cause, rather, we look at the effect. We forget there is a great wind(cause) when we are drowning in the waves(effect.) How often do we deal with the outer issue, rather than digging down deep to find the source of the problem, to get to the cause.

Jesus simply spoke peace to the manifestation (effect) of the cause, and it had to obey, because it's power was no more. Since Jesus had already rebuked the wind, the cause was crippled at the very root, therefore the waves had no choice BUT to obey, since the cause was no longer productive! Can I get an amen!

How can we apply that to our own lives today? Take any stronghold that you may be facing, this concept can be applied to it, therefore gaining a freedom this very day! Do you struggle with an unhealthy relationship towards food? Has that become a stronghold? I use this example as it's one I deal with and have dealt with for many years. If we ask God to show us the root of the struggle, we can ask Him to put His healing touch on that root, crippling it at the very core of the cause, therefore our new effect will not be sabotage of our diet, and eventually of our success, but rather we would begin to see food in a healthy manner, and for a purpose.

Is your marriage struggling? Get to the root of the cause, rebuke the cause, and let God bless your marriage with the most wonderful effect you could ever imagine having!

Do you battle insecurity? Find the root of the cause. From there, you can begin the healing process. Once you can expose the things that trigger your insecurity, the devil can no longer play games in that arena with you! Sure, you may fall to it now and again, but you will recognize it for what it is.

Do you have no direction? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Do you feel like your existence does not matter? Rebuke the cause! Take charge of the negative effects that are spilling out from your life...remember, the effect has to obey once the cause is dealt with. Does that mean you will instantly see new effects take place? Maybe not. And maybe so. Every person & every situation is different. But there is something to be said for having knowledge of the root issue. Once you can call that thing out, once you expose it for what it is, it takes the power away! It may be a process, and it may be something that just quickly changes for you. But regardless, getting to the root of the issue is the best way to go! There is such power in saying "the truth shall set you free!"

Do you need peace today? Rebuke the cause. Expose the devil for what he is, a fake. A phony. A liar. A devourer. A stinking, no good peace stealer. Rebuke him. And welcome the new effects of peace, joy, love, clarity of thought & direction!

I love this hymn: "peace, peace, wonderful peace. Flowing down, from the father above..."

Thank God for His peace. The peace that He gives in the midst of our storm. You may still go through the storm, but you can have peace as you do.

Psalm 29:11
New King James Version (NKJV)

11 The LORD will give strength to His people;
The LORD will bless His people with peace.

Well I hope that made sense. And if not, just blame my pajama pants.

Pride.

2011-09-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

I read the following exceprt in Beth Moore's book about Praying God's Word. This is a great book! It's chock full of scriptures to pray us out of any stronghold we may face. Today, I'm reading about Pride. It's a stronghold that shows itself in so many different ways. When we hear the word "pride," we often assume it to mean that a person thinks they are just so super awesome and nobody can touch their awesomeness. But that's not always accurate! That's why I love what Beth (yes, we are on a first name basis, Beth & I, she's my long distance mentor, she just does not know it yet!) says here. Pride comes to us through many avenues...and it's something the Lord is shining light on in my own life. I wanted to share this:

"My name is Pride. I am a cheater.
I cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
I cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this."
I cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
I cheat you of healing...because you're too full of 'me' to forgive
I cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong
I cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out the window.
I cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
I cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
I cheat you of greatness in Heaven...because you refuse to wash another's feet on Earth.
I cheat you of God's glory...because I convince you to seek your own.
My name is pride. I am a cheater.
You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue.
I'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...
If you stick with me, you'll never know."

See yourself in any of that? Regretfully, I do.

Oh Lord, thank you for your light that shines ever so softly on the area's of our heart that need a work. You are so full of grace & mercy. I take delight in serving you Lord. Thank you for having me, Jesus.

Finger lickin good

2011-09-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

It hit me tonight, on the way home from Kate's ballet class; hunger. The famished kind. Almost could have passed out. Ok, that's dramatic. But still. Well, turns out that I had trail mix left over in my cup holder from my Target trip earlier today, where I also was hungry, it was lunch time though, cut me some slack man! Back to my drive; I excitedly began to munch it tonight in the car, as it was just one of those delightful little joys in life where you think, man, that is so cool how that worked out! Like, the last few french fries in the bottom of the McD's bag. Good times. Or the left over slice of pizza in the fridge that nobody got to. Or your kid comes home with a really fun goody bag from a party! Do I have food issues? Nah. Well anyway, it had chocolate in it. And it had been sitting in the car since lunch time. Did that stop me? No. I kept gleefully eating the trail mix. Until my right hand was covered in chocolate. And I was 20 minutes away from my destination. And the wipes were way in the back seat. And no way could I lick the chocolate off my fingers, I'm so anti finger lickin. I would not be a poster child for KFC, cuz aint nothin taste that good to make me lick my fingers. See, no food issues here! I'm speaking by faith. So anyway, I drove the rest of the way one-handed. The moral of the story here is this: don't eat melted chocolate in the car. Unless you have wipes.

The end.

A change will do you good

2011-09-01T20:54:00.001-07:00

That song has been stuck in my head...but that's the only part I know! "A change, will do you good." Yep. That's all I know. I can't even tell you who the artist is. I suppose I could google it, but that would require to much finger tapping on the mouse and, well, don't wanna. So there. But regardless, I've been humming it all week!

I've posted on the topic of change before, but it always hits me in different ways. Fall is coming. The Crepe Myrtle tree (my fav) is starting to look not so pretty anymore...the evening temps are lower, it's getting dark quicker...all signs of fall. Fall gets me thinking about change, hence the song that I don't even know and don't know the artist being stuck in my head all week! Ah but I digress. Sheryl Crow? I think so. She seems nice. I love her hair.

Anyhoo. I shared on this topic Sunday at church, and I was reminded of when the iphone first came out. I was so anti the iphone! I had my little Razor phone and it was all I needed. Text and call. I'm good. Joey got one pretty early on, and I would fly into a panic every time I tried to figure that darn phone out! It was no use. I was like a fish outta water. A bird with no wings. Cereal with no milk. Playing Duck Duck Goose when nobody says "Goose." Sheryl Crow without her guitar as she sang about change. Or did she?

You get the picture. But, alas, the time came that I needed a new phone...and reluctantly, I caved into the iphone. And let me tell you friends that I HAVE NEVER LOOKED BACK! I have apps that track my food, track my moods, track my every blessed move. And i have not even tapped into the world of apps really. Point being, I use my phone now for quite a bit, it's extremely handy. I never knew I needed it until I had it. Did I "need" it? Well, no. But has it been handy? Yes.

Change. We don't like change! Very few people say how much they love change. Except Sheryl Crow. I think. But really, most people don't proclaim their love of change from the rooftops. "Good morning Change! I love you! I love being uncomfortable, I love stepping out into the unknown. I love not knowing what's around the corner. I love wondering where my paycheck is coming from now. I love not knowing which way to turn. I love using different shampoo." NO! Very few people can say they love change...that is, until they change.

Because once we change we think doggonit I wish I had embraced this before! Like the iphone. That's a silly analogy, I know. But makes a good point.

Changing, learning, making adjustments, all are part of growing. But so often we get stuck in the same place, we fear change, we fear the unknown outcome, and so we stay the same. We don't launch out into the deep. We don't tackle that weight problem we've battled for years. We don't fix that friendship. We don't start that new business or ministry. We don't change our attitude. We don't change the way we treat people. We don't set healthy boundaries for ourselves when we know full well we need to. Because we fear that the outcome won't be what we expect. Or we fear that we will fail anyway, so why try. And so we stay right where we are. The same.

Proverbs 1:5 says, "A wise man will hear and increase in learning." I want to be wise. I want to always be learning, always increasing in knowledge, always growing. But in order for that to happen, I have to embrace change. It's never easy. Never. But man, once you walk into it, you wish you had done it so much sooner.

As fall is fast approaching, join me in looking for some opportunities for change. If we don't look for them, we just might miss them. Take the advice of my friend Sheryl, a change will do you good!

Another birthday? Sheesh!

2011-08-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

I guess these kids have them each year...I'd appreciate if the birthday train would stay away awhile! These girls are growing too fast. But here we are, the last day that my firstborn will be 6 years old. She will never be 6 again. Nope. Apparently tomorrow, the 19th, she will have to call herself a 7 year old. That's not with my approval, but some things are just out of my hand I suppose.

In honor of her last day as a 6 year old, Joei Kate & I are compiling a list of the things this wonderful year has brought her:

"In the year that I was 6, I, Kate (yes, she has stuck with the name change as a 6 year old) got to:

Go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium; go to the State Fair two times, with my cousin and without my cousin; move to a new house, but my dad won't let me get a horse; went to Kindergarten; learn math; have recess; fight with Lily; had fun with Madison, Lola, Paris; have Ayanna sleep at my house; have ice cream at church with little Gianni & little Isabella; go to VBS at church; go to doughnuts with my dad every Tuesday on the way to school; go swimming with Jaden at Aunty Jess' house & at the Moore's house; go to 4th of July with Aunt Cindy & Brookie, Uncle Donnie and DJ were there but I didn't ride with them; have a play date with Lola; learn how to read; lose some teeth; go to Disneyland; watched "World of Color;" win an award for Compassion at school; have mom at my school for "muffins for moms," (is she referring to my belly hanging over my pants? Nah. Couldn't be. Or is she?) Rode a bike without training wheels (she immediately took off as soon as the training wheels were off by the way!) Rode a horse, two times at the fair; go to Six Flaggs; give money to the kids in Haiti; learn that God created us, me and mommy & daddy & lily, for us to be a family; God gave me a good life and He gave me a good family too. The end. "

My sweet little Kate. She is such a great kid! It boggles my mind that she is going to be 7 tomorrow. She was just a little babe in a sleep sack. What the heck happened? Sheesh. I say it again. SHEESH! She really is a sweetie. She is a compassionate kid, and that is a quality I pray sticks with her forever. Here are a few pictures to commemorate the year of 6!

First day of Kindergarten!

Wasn't that last picture just taken a few weeks ago? No? Sure seems like it...

I'm phree now!

2011-05-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

Hmm, seems as though I've heard that before! When Joei Kate turned three, that's how she pronounced it as well. Since I did a post about Joei Kate turning 3, I wanted to do that for Lily as well, to look at some of the similarity's between them...but more than that, I want to remember this age! I LOVE three year olds. They are so stinkin' cute. Mine are particularly cute though, of course!

Lily Rae. She is her own little character, that's for sure. She has an amazing vocabulary for a 3 year old, it cracks us up actually! I reckon it's due to following her sis around, but that kid can talk up a storm, and you can understand that storm! Speaking of following her sis, she adores Joei Kate. Yesterday, as we were getting ready for church, Lily wanted to match her sis. She had to wear a skirt like sis, and a purple shirt like sis, and a sweater like sis, and a side ponytail like sis. So cute! Joei said something nice to her the other day and Lily said "Oh are you being nice to me?" As if sis is usually mean...and sometimes she is. They have the usual sibling rivalry that I imagine all siblings face. That probably is the one thing that drives me the battiest, the fighting between the two of them. But, I digress.

Lily told me the other day that she has a real friend in the nursery. "Mom, I have a real friend. Wait, what's her name? Hmm. Oh, Lindsey. My real friend is Lindsey. And Noah." She loves to play with other kids. She's got a great imagination. It cracks me up to watch them play, especially between Lily, Kate & Jaden, because they always start a sentence with "pretend that..." and then they list what they are pretending to play. Why don't they just pretend? Why do they have to be sure everyone knows that it's pretend? Ah kids, I don't get it.

What else? Let's see. Lily loves Toy Story. She loves to play dress up, loves Barbies, loves Dora...likes "boy toys" but yet loves all the girly toys too. She generally wants her hair down, like Rapunzel. She dresses herself. Most of the time I allow the outfits she chooses, although on Sunday's I usually give her a few things to choose from! She is terribly afraid of spiders. She can count pretty high. Lily keeps asking me how to spell certain things. If she sees a tree, "mom, how do you spell tree?" I'm not sure why. Maybe because Joei Kate is spelling words now.

I also should note that she be-headed her Woody doll. For a few days, she kept telling us that she knew how to take off heads. And apparently she does.

Lily loves to wear jammers around the house. She takes after mom. We always get our "cozies" on when we get home. Although she changes her cozies multiple times a day. She just woke up from her nap and immediately asked if we are still going to Payless. I promised her a trip once sissy is out of school. Lily will never let you forget anything you tell her you will do. You make a promise to her and she says "Pinkie promise?" while holding up her pointer finger. Not pinky. Pointer. And she just walked up to me and asked me how to spell treadmill. And that she is going to pee in the hallway. Oh wait, she says actually she is going in the living room. This is a far cry from the position in front of her toy box that she prefers. She refuses to potty train. And holds her pee. This is fun.

We just were changing her pull up and discussing our favorite princess. I said Belle has the same color hair as her...she laughed about how daddy has no hair...and asked "why doesn't daddy have hair on the roof?"

She's fun. Lily Rae, you are a fun little scallywag. I love you so much! You are my strong willed little rascal, that's for sure. But I remind myself that's a great quality to possess. You make us laugh often! You are such a snuggle bug too, you love to snuggle, hug & love. You are such a joy to your dad, me and your sis, and all that get to know you. People that know you are darn lucky that they get to. We love you Lily Rae!

(Having issues posting pics to blogger, will add a 3 year old picture later!)

I just knew...

2011-04-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

Good gravy, I've only been posting on this blog once a month! How can I expect to remember anything if I don't get it written down? I'm finding that my memory is not so awesome. I remember random stuff, but not important stuff! I need something to boost my memory. Anyhow, that's not the point of the post. What is the point you ask? I dunno. It will come to me. Eventually. Any second. In a minute. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Crickets.

Ok, let me just start with a scripture I've been loving lately:

Ephesians 4:1 " I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called..."

I quite like verses 2-3 as well, but that first part grabs my attention. What are you called to do?

It's funny, ever since I became a Christian at age 14, I always knew that I would do something for the Lord with my entire life. I had no idea what that was, but as I went through high school, and contemplated college/career choices, I just new that I would not take a path that led to a career, so to speak. I never had a defining moment, that I recall anyway, where I felt I had received a call from God for a specific path, I just knew. I just knew. I gravitated towards evangelism, towards Missions, towards youth ministry, but never had a specific calling, if you will. I just knew. And so I walked through doors that opened, in whatever particular arena of ministry it was, just walked...because I knew! I knew that I would not go to college, majoring in journalism, as my Grandfather had wished I would have. And I would have done anything for him, he was my bumpa, he is the reason for the name of this blog! I remember his disappointment when I told him that I decided to go to Bible College. Because I knew. I knew that I needed to have more Bible training than I had at the time, I knew that it would be far more useful to me than anything else...for me, anyway. I'd never been much of a student anyhow, so long term schooling never appealed to me. I'm not very smart, and I'm ok with that! But I love Jesus. And I love His Word. And so for that reason, I loved Bible College.

So I went to Bible College (while being heavily involved in youth ministry, loved that! I had the best youth pastors anyone could ever have! And that's really a whole other post in itself, I would not be the person I am today if not for them, and I don't mean that I'm super awesome, I just mean that I can actually function like a normal human being!) Then after that I went to England for a time to work in my Aunt's church doing missions & evangelism type of stuff. I enjoyed that too!

Then I came back home and eventually met my handsome husband. I did work a secular job at the time, and did ministry with him whenever I could. Loved that time in life too!

And now we Pastor a church. And I have tears in my eyes as I type this because I am so in love with this time in life that I am at a loss for words as to why the Lord is so good to use me. I dunno. The door opened, and we walked. And I'm so thankful for it. I guess if I've ever felt so sure about my calling, this would be it. I know it sounds hokey to say, but it's just what I'm feeling at the moment. I want to live that scripture, a life worthy of the calling with which you have received.

So what do you feel called to today? It does not have to necessarily have a job title! We are called to love Jesus. To love people, to serve them with every ounce of our being. Where are you at in life, that you can serve someone else? Jesus said that "the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." so as we strive to live a life worthy of our calling, I reckon we need to be like Jesus, and simply serve.

Oh gosh, I'm on a tangent now, forgive me. But I have to share verses 2-3.

Ephesians 1-3."I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

I take that to mean this: I'm called to love people. I'm called to be humble, to be gentle with everyone, not to speak my mind just for the sake of getting my "opinion" out there. To bear with people, over and over and over and over...to love. And through doing that, there will be peace in every situation & every relationship that I walk into.

I needed to hear that today.

And tangent done. Phew! Have a great day fellow sojourners!

Lily Picadilly

2011-03-11T08:49:00.000-08:00

My girls have tons of nicknames, I believe I've done a post about it before actually...but am too lazy to look for it! I just had to get this documented for future ref. Lily is showing me how she "skates" on the floor and I was cheering her on, "Go Lily!" She stopped and said, "my name is not Lily, my name is Putt Putt." That's one of her nicknames, Putt Putt. Putter, Putt Putt. She answers to any variation of it! So I wonder, does she really think that's her name? We do call her that often. Hmm. Lily Picadilly. That's another one. Skallywag. Rapscallion. But when I'm really trying to get Lily's attention, good old "Lily Rae" is usually the way to go.

Joei Kate, well, since she has changed her name to Kate, has quite a few new names. Kater Bater. Katie Bug. I often call her "my little Kate Kate." Skallywag. Rapscallion. Bear. All sorts...But, when trying to get her attention, she's Joei Kate.

What are some nicknames y'all have?

Bummer Deal

2011-02-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

Lily & I were just at Walmart, getting a few things we needed to get us through the week, God bless Walmart and their low prices. I am thankful for that store when I go early in the morning, when I go later, I despise the place! But today, it was early so all was well with my soul.

Anyway, that is not the point of this post, but somehow I just gravitate towards a Walmart rant!

So as I was in the produce section, gearing up to purchase some banana's from the low price leader, an older gentlemen looked at me, and I could tell he was trying to process my face. He apologized for doing a double take, said I looked like his daughter, but that there was no way she would be there shopping as she does not live near here. I continued to see him throughout the rest of my trip, making awkward corny jokes, as you do when you see someone that you had a small convo with, but yet you don't know them. You know the kind. You see them at the end of the aisle and think oh gee, what can I say now in regards to me being his daughter. I think at one point he jokingly called me daughter and I do believe I responded with "have a great day dad!" Yes, it was that cheezy and that bad. Leave it to Walmart to bring that out of me.

Of course, he was behind me in the check out line, because well, the awkwardness had to finish out the trip right? So as I was walking away from my pretend dad, something within me began to well up with emotion. It was the bizarrest thing. I started to tear up thinking gosh, that must be so cool to have a dad. Walmart has seen many of my emotions, tearing up though probably was not one of them! But alas, there I was, feeling emotional and a tad sad that I did not have the relationship that an earthly Father should present to their daughter.

My dad is now gone from this earth, and we did not have much of a relationship to speak of anyway, the time I did have with him is not looked upon with fondness, unfortunately. Although we were able to have a wonderful time of reconciliation before his death, and I thank the Lord for that hour I spent with him, but that's a different post for another time! I'm curious to see what the Lord has for our relationship when I get to Heaven.

I also have a step-dad that I've not seen in years. I often wonder what he is up to these days. But anyway, that too is another post!

The fact remains that I do not currently have a relationship with any father, and that's a bummer. Now, I don't think about it on a daily basis, or even on a weekly basis, really I don't think of that lack very often. But to be fair, there are moments every now and again that I think man, I wish I had a dad. A good dad. Bummer deal.

Yes, God has most definitely become my Father. He has given me joy, peace, security, all those things that an earthly dad is supposed to provide for his daughter, God has been that to me. He has given me double for my trouble, He has given me a life I never thought I'd get to enjoy! Having said that, I'm human. So as long as I live in this earthly shell of a body, there will always be that tiny hole that was left by my father. Has God healed me of the hurt caused by my dad? Yes. Has God filled every void in my life with His wonderful presence? Of course He has. But God created this little girl with an earthly longing for a father, and since that does not exist on this earth, there will be the occasional twinge of sadness for that loss. And I think that is ok. It's ok with God. And it's ok with me.

I think sometimes, we as Christians, think we succumb to some sort of defeat if we allow ourselves to feel any negative emotion, especially a negative emotion that God has sought to free us from. My walk with the Lord is a special one to me, very special. We have the most intimate conversations, nobody knows me like Jesus does. I am thankful for the victory that He has given me over the years, victory in so many areas. He is precious to me, and He is, indeed, my Father. I am not bitter at my dad, I'm not angry at him, I have no un-forgiveness in my heart towards him, so I don't know about you, but that says "Victory" to me! Do I take back that victory by having a few moments of sadness over something I missed out on? No. Absolutely not. Does it diminish anything God has done in my life, any healing He has done in my heart? No. Absolutely not.

The Bible says that "weeping may endure for a night, but Joy comes in the morning." Sure, I was sad there at Walmart today...but am I going to stay sad? No. That my friends, is where the victory lies. Yes, it's a bummer that I don't have a dad. I sure wish I did. That would be super cool! But I don't. Bummer deal. But I'm choosing to keep going with my head held high! I'm choosing to keep being the daughter that any dad would be proud to have! Because God has made me that way. I want to be the best daughter for the Lord, because He has given me a purpose and something to do in this life. I think I make God proud. I could not have said that years ago, but now, as the Lord has done so much healing in my life, I think He looks at me and says "my sweet, kind, beautiful daughter, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud."

And He says that for you to. No matter what area in your life it is that may occasionally cause you sadness, there is victory for you too. Just because it saddens you sometimes, doesn't diminish your victory. Nope. I dunno, but maybe, just maybe it strengthens it. Because it's in the moments like I had today, that I realize just how far God has brought me. I realize just how much I'm loved. And I realize just how human I am. And that's ok.

Say what?

2011-01-25T17:49:00.000-08:00

Lily has a friend in the nursery at church named Noah. Well, apparently they play together quite often, they hold hands and what have you. So of course, Joei Kate being the older sibling teases Lily about said hand holding. As if Lily even comprehends it!

Just now at the dinner table the following conversation ensued:

Kate: Lily loves Noah (said in a sing song voice)
Me: There is nothing wrong with that, Noah is her friend, she can love her friend.
Lily: Ya. Noah is Ken and I'm Barbie.

Say what?

Flow through me Jesus!

2011-01-24T18:48:00.000-08:00

I love the kids Story Bible that Joei Kate has, it does such a great job of explaining certain things in a light that I've never thought of. I highly recommend it for children of all ages, so well done! I love it! You can find it on Amazon. It tried to input a link for it, but apparently I'm not that sharp! It's called "The Jesus Storybook Bible."

We just read a chapter called "The Perfect Storm," taken out of Mark 4 & Matthew 8. It really was a fitting chapter to read tonight, as Joei tends to be drawn towards worrying about this, that and the other. She was fascinated that Jesus slept in the midst of a horrendous storm! She was pretty confident that there would be no sleeping for her in a storm like that! She was also intrigued by how quickly the winds and the waves listened to Jesus' command to "Hush!" I love how this is worded:

"The wind and the waves recognized Jesus' voice. They had heard it before, of course - it was the same voice that made them, in the very beginning. They listened to Jesus and they did what He said."

The winds and the waves knew the voice that commanded them to be still! I imagine we can flip that to our personal lives as well; the fear we carry, the worry that consumes our thoughts, the condemnation we allow ourselves to sit under...that too knows the mighty voice of God! And if we would but activate our faith and speak to those things that are not as though they were, they have to submit to the authority of Jesus that is able to flow through us!

Joei Kate told me that she wished the winds and the waves would listen to her too. She said she wanted to be like the Lord...and that she wants the light of Jesus to flow through her. Of course that touches this mamma's heart; oh how I pray she always desires that. At 6 years old, she is asking for the light of Jesus to flow through her.

It reminds me of the scripture in 2 Corinthians that says "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." Our lives have the ability to reflect the glory of the Lord; that same light that my little baby Kate wants to flow through her. It's quite a prayer to pray, that Jesus would flow through us. I'd venture to say that it's one He is ready and waiting to answer.

I win!

2011-01-20T10:07:00.000-08:00

Lily is showing herself to have quite a competitive spirit! Anytime we are going to a different room in the house, or anywhere for that matter, she will generally run ahead of me and upon reaching the destination will turn around and say, "You lost, I win!" (Wish I had a video of her dancing right now behind me...)

I'm honestly glad that she has that competitive edge showing, it makes me laugh when I see it, but more than that, it makes me proud. It makes me feel like she is growing up in a secure environment, believing that she truly can win. Ok, ok, that may be a stretch, sure, but I relate most stuff to what my childhood was like. I don't ever recall feeling that competitive spirit, not ever. I was such an insecure child, that I was happy if I did not get picked last when teams were formed. I was happy if I did not trip during a race in P.E. class, for fear of looking foolish. I was happy if the "cool" kids acknowledged me. Insecurity is a far cry from feeling so secure that you can proclaim to anyone and everyone that you are a winner!

Now of course I am aware that too much competition can be bad, so can too much of anything. But for my little 2.5 year old, I'm not teaching her humility when she yells that she won...not yet. For just a little while, I'm going to enjoy seeing the security flow from my little daughter. There will be plenty of humbling opportunity in her life, so for now, while life is simple, Lily Rae, yes, you won. Indeed kid, you won.

How about you? How about me? Do you have that competitive edge that would drive you to do something great in this life? I didn't. Not for many, many years. It is only until fairly recently that I can honestly say, look out Jack, I'm going to do something great in this life. Because that's the security that I've found in knowing the Lord...He wants us to win too. So who am I to stifle that competitive edge =)

Non-Sufficient Funds

2011-01-03T09:12:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was about 20 or 21, I went to stay in England for 6 months. At the time, my aunt lived there and I was doing some work in her local church. It was a great time in my life, but that's another post for a different time! Anyway, I left my bank account open here in the States, I don't think there was hardly any money in it though! But nonetheless, I left it open. Well, I had a gym membership that I cancelled prior to leaving, as it was deducting money from my account and I needed that to stop. Come to find out, 6 months later, they were still taking money from my account, leaving me with non-sufficient funds, and a ton of fees. Good times.

I read a neat quote today, it says, "We never cry out to God and receive a returned check stamped 'Insufficient Grace.'" - Sandy Smith

Don't you love that? It does not matter what you put into your so called Spiritual bank account, or what you do not put into it, Grace is always there for you. God does not respond to us with even a hint of rejection! Ah I love that!

Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

While yes, indeed we are created to good works, we do not receive love or grace by doing said good works! If we never did a blessed thing again on this earth for Him, God's love would still be there for us. He still would smother us with his ever present help, love, mercy & grace. What a great Lord!

But we can't get away from that scripture, that yes, we were created for good works....His workmanship...that means we were carefully planned....every detail of our world, every facet of our lives, every little personality quirk we have, our looks, our hopes & dreams; It's all just a part of God's crafty workmanship. WOW!

There are tons of reasons we were created to do good works, but let me touch on two of them that I personally think:

1. To help people! Just plain and simple. We are called to be God's hands extended, in all that we do. Oh man, that I would grab hold of that calling, and be the hands of Jesus wherever I go. Whether it be to help someone cross the street, be kind to the person that shoves you at Wal-Mart when you have lost every last ounce of blessed patience at that store, or even just being a blessing to your family and friends. Every facet of our lives, created to do good works. To help people!

2. To help us! It just plain feels good when you have something to do with your life. Especially for us ladies, we need to be needed. And we need to know that what we are doing is worth something. Oh what a great place to live, knowing that you are doing your best to reach your full potential in life! I love to think about that; God creating us to do good works simply for our benefit. It's a good life...

There, of course, is more...but since Lily is cartooned out at the moment, I need to sign off!

I just wanted to drop these thoughts on the blog today, in light of this great New Year that is ahead of us. I want to take Ephesians 2:10 to heart this year, more than ever before. I want to help people. I wish that everyone would know the wonderful grace that Jesus gives. And I want to live to my highest potential...for such a time as this. How about you?

I like the buiful day.

2010-11-17T20:52:00.001-08:00

Lily is such a funny little kid, like, really really funny. She has this knack for re-enacting stuff she says and does. If she had a moment of crying, she will later tell me all about how she cried and proceed to fake cry, for dramatic effect of course! She is just hilarious!

Tonight, we were leaving church in the dark, and come to find out, she is not a fan of the dark. We are not out much at dark so I guess that's probably why, but nonetheless, not a fan. She said, in the most whiny voice she could muster, "I not like the dok, I like the buiful day."

Most of us would agree with ya Lil! We like the beautiful day too! Although, I actually quite enjoy driving at night for some reason, I must have the eyesight of a gazelle. Or a wolf. Or, whatever the heck animal is known for keen eyesight. Ah but I digress.

We really don't like the dark, and yet, so often, that's exactly where we find ourselves. The dark. Life takes us through different phases and stages, some dark, some light, some gray, and some, well, some are just beautiful! Oh how we long for the beautiful days. When your bills are paid. When everybody is healthy. When you feel you have a purpose in this life. That is beautiful.

But what about the dark days. When you can't pay your bills, let alone buy something you just plain want. Or when you are sick in your body, or a loved one is battling an illness. When you feel like you have no purpose in this life. What then?

Lamentations 3:22-24 says:

22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”

Oh I love that. I LOVE that. I have hope. I have a hope that God will provide my every need. I have a hope that God has the power to touch a weary body. I have a hope that God can bring a peace that passes all understanding to every situation! I have a hope that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, plans of good and not of evil, plans to prosper me and give me a hope and a bright future!

God is our portion. Period. He is all we need. He KNOWS all we need. That's how you make the dark days beautiful. There is beauty when you cry out to a beautiful God...in the dark. Just because it's dark does not mean God is absent. I'm going to venture to say He is all the more near to you in that dark time. Why? Because you are drawing nearer to Him. And the Bible says that if we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. That my friends, is beauty at it's fullest. The creator of Heaven and Earth, the amazing, amazing redeemer, gets down in the midst of our darkness and begins to shed His glorious light. It may be slow. It may take a real long time, but if we stay near to Him, the light will eventually begin to shine. You may notice a tiny little sliver of victory...that's the light. It's comin. It's comin. It's comin!!! And when it does, it's nothing short of beautiful.

Yes, we like it too Lily. We like it too.

Sweet Conversion

2010-11-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Do you remember where you were when you accepted Jesus into your heart? Maybe you have yet to pray that prayer, the prayer that allows Jesus to be Lord of your life. Perhaps you have never been given that opportunity. It's so simple to do, so simple that my little Joei Kate has Jesus in her heart. I love that! I love how simple it really is. Unfortunately, Religion has complicated salvation. Religion makes us believe that we have to do x,y,z before Jesus will accept us. Thank you Lord, that is not the case. We simply just ask. Just ask.

I remember where I was. I was 14 years old, it was the summer before I entered high school. I was a mess of a teenager, let me tell ya. I carried so much hurt, bitterness and insecurity, that I could hardly even function right. Sure, I got by. But I was so riddled with insecurity and pain, masking it all the way.

I was invited to go on a church trip to Mexico. I thought it sounded like fun, get away from everyone, sign me up! I didn't know there was going to be preaching at night, and quite honestly, I don't remember any other service during that trip, except for the first night. That night, Coco Perez was preaching. He was using the text from the book of Joel, I will never forget it. He put out the call, that sweet simple call that has long been too complicated for people, the call to receive Jesus. And I did just that. I knew I needed something. I knew I needed something.

My life changed in an instant that night. I really mean that. The peace of God came over me, and I was changed. The pain began to release...Sure, I struggled with stuff, and of course had to face tons of obstacles, and still do, but I have tried my hardest to never quit running the race. All because of the simplicity of the gospel. It's so simple. And yet, I gained so much by accepting that simplicity. Thank you Jesus.

This Sunday mornings message has me thinking about this, Joey is preaching about his thankfulness for the Cross. I'm so thankful too.

That, and this morning I was reading about Saul's Conversion in the book of Acts. That is SO fascinating to me. He was a man that absolutely hated anything to do with Jesus. A persecutor of Christians. Just an all around bad egg. But that all changed when he had an experience with that sweet simplicity. Ahhhh Jesus.

I love Acts 9:15 because here the Lord tells Ananias that "This man (Saul) is my chosen instrument..."

Wow. An outwardly evil man. A man nobody would except that the Lord would use in such a dramatic way. But Saul, also called Paul, indeed was used.

I also love the verse in Corinthians (1:27) that says "God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise."

It still amazes me that the Lord would take a messed up, broken little girl like myself, and use me to do anything at all. I'm so thankful, this November, for the cross. I may not have confounded anyone just yet, but don't count me out! It aint over...

I'm so thankful for that sweet simplicity. Thank you Jesus.

Do you remember?

Random thoughts about my girlies...

2010-10-25T20:36:00.000-07:00

I wish I was a scrapbooker; forgive me if that is not the right term. Ok, I wish I was a person that scrapbooked. Or did books with scraps. Hee hee. Whatever the correct term, I wish I did it. And yes, it's never too late too start, of course. Buuuuut. But, but, but. Anyway, one of these days I do hope to join the world of scrapbookers. Or books with scraps. But until then, this blog will have to suffice. So excuse me while I ramble on about my girls for a spell.

Joei Kate.

She is so cute with her two top teeth missing! One of them is growing in really quick. She was so nervous when they were loose, remember that feeling? Gosh I do. She is a lot like me. She is very cautious about stuff, takes her time with things and analyzes each detail of a decision before making it. Joei is in Kindergarten, 6 years old. She enjoys school, most days anyway. Although I will say that the transition has been rough on her. She is quite tired and by the time I pick her up from school, she is grumpy, hungry and yep, you guessed it, tired.

It's really a miracle that she goes to school for 6 + hours a day, given the fear/anxiety she battled while in Pre-K. Thank God, He totally helped her with that. I hated seeing her so afraid, that was a rough time. She is still stuck to our leg when we drop her at school, but she is totally fine once we leave.

Joei decided (after much thought, of course) to begin going by her middle name, Kate. Her teacher calls her Kate, and most of her class mates do also. Whatever floats her boat! It's lasted longer than I thought it would.

She has a few good pals at school that she hangs out with. One of them is named Madison. It's such a cute relationship because Madison is a lot smaller than Joei. She is a little nervous about being away from her parents so they make good pals together. The other night when Joei, ahem, Kate & I were reading about Rachel and Leah, we got to talking about what makes a person beautiful. We were talking about the inside of us being what matters and about caring for other people. She told me that she cares about Madison, so she pushes the button on the water fountain for her to get a drink, on account of her broken arm. It nearly brought tears to my eyes!

So many times I worry about the kind of parent I am. Do I discipline too much, or not enough? Do I teach her enough? Am I showing the right traits? Do I feed them right? On and on the list goes. That's why any little glimmer of compassion I see in my kids mean so much to me!

Kate is such a cool kid. She really is. She totally has her own style and does not like to wear anything that she is not keen on. She likes leggings with skirts right now, sometimes dresses. She is not a fan of jeans, although she will do skinny jeans on occasion. (Forgive me, this really is my book of scraps!) And a funny detail is that she loathes showing her toes, so sandals are out of the question!

She goes about the house sounding out letters as they are doing that in school; she will be reading before you know it! She read the word "jump" all on her own tonight and was so thrilled! Her favorite toys right now are her Barbies, Strawberry Shortcake, and pretty much using her imagination. She is extremely creative and loves coloring/drawing. I have an awesome 6 year old. I really do.

Lily Rae.

Lily is the funniest 2.5 year old I have ever known! This picture says it all. This is her personality! She talks very well for her age, says all kinds of crazy things. Tonight at dinner she was praying for every bite before she took it, "bless Jesus, Amen!" She is extremely addicted to her pacifier, or 3 of them. It's crazy really. She loves them. At bedtime she needs to have 2 paci's (at least) her night night, her juicy...and tonight she wanted a few toys too. She loves Toy Story at the moment so it's all about that. She currently has on Toy Story jammers, clearly made for boys. But it's all good. She's happy in em! She loves to dress herself, the clothing all over her room right now is proof of that. Unlike Joei, Lily loves to wear jeans. The first words out of her mouth when seeing her dad are "Daddy, snuggy!" They snuggle all the time, it's her favorite thing. Then she wants to tell dad a secret, and it's usually that she wants to watch Scooby Doo without me knowing. She is so funny, it's almost like she has a crazy sense of humor already! She loves to make us laugh, she repeats most everything her big sis says and watches her to follow her lead. Lily does miss Joei when she's at school. The other morning she said, "where's my Joei Kate?" She also has no desire to potty train, not really. She is aware that she can go to school when she uses the potty, and really wants to go to school, but apparently not bad enough to hit the old toilet. Man I wish she would. She also loves to use her imagination in play time; she will grab any toy or object and start off with, "what's your name?" And will ask you repeatedly until you answer. Then she takes her toy/object to her house, and to swim and sometimes to eat popcorn and apples. So cute! Also, when she gets mad she says, "I'm going home," and crosses her arms. The funniest time she does it is when she is already at home. Rascal.

Lily currently is going into the whole tantrum phase, yelling "NO" at the top of her lungs. It's not my favorite thing, let me tell ya. She is a persistent little sucker too, does not like when we don't give her exactly what she wants, when she wants it. I know that's the nature of kids, but Lily takes it up a notch!

It's so funny to me how different they are; complete opposite personalities. What worked with Joei won't work with Lily. Ah I love my girls. They are so much fun at these ages!

We can't forget their cousin Jaden! They all are together so much, they are more like sisters really. Jaden (AKA J-bug) is a funny kid too. She and Lily are a lot alike actually. Bug is 5, a real compassionate kid, funny as all get out...she gets that from her mom. We wish we could fast forward a good 5 years to see if her voice is like it is now. Man I hope it is, it's so cute. But I guess maybe she won't think so in those pre-teen years!

Here is Jaden.

And one last picture that I love of Joei Kate & Jaden over the summer:

Thanks for letting me scrap!

Leah & Rachel

2010-10-21T20:29:00.000-07:00

Tonight Joei (Kate, or whoever she is at the moment...) and I read the story of Rachel & Leah. I love how this particular kids Bible reads though, it paints the story in such an easy way that I grasp it better! Oh wait, I mean my 6 year old can grasp it better...riiiiight.

Anyway, the story of Rachel and Leah starts in Genesis 29. It's such a gut-wrenching story to me. Here you have two sisters, Rachel and Leah. Apparently, judging from scripture, Rachel was very beautiful whereas Leah did not have the outward appearance that Rachel held. The kids Bible I read to Joei was painting Rachel as the popular girl, the one everybody always liked...the one that got picked first. Leah, on the other hand, was the one picked last. So in comes Jacob, of course he falls in love with Rachel. Her father says he can marry Rachel once he works for 7 years for her, Jacob complies, only to be tricked on his wedding night into marrying Leah. Father says he can really really have Rachel, in another 7 years. Jacob complies, and finally gets the girl.

I don't know what guts me more about this story: that Leah already feels the stigma of being deemed the "ugly" one or that she actually has to marry a man, knowing full well that man does not love her, that he loves her sister, that she is considered second best to her. Or that she has to continue in a marriage with a man who does not find her attractive, at all. Or that all the other women in the village talk about Leah behind her back, or perhaps they are flat mean and do it to her face. Or is it the tension between two sisters that guts me? Or is it the fact that Leah tried so hard to gain Jacob's affection by giving him child after child after child. Or. Or. Or. Rejection. Pain. Hurt. Ugly.

I would love to sit down and talk with Leah. I would love to ask her what thought process finally brought her to child number four. It's interesting to me that she named that child Judah, saying "this time I will praise the Lord." And that was that. The battle for Jacob's affection continued between the two women, but I wonder what Leah's heart must have felt when she finally said, yep, it's time to praise the Lord. I wonder, did Leah finally realize the beauty that was within her? Did she finally begin to see that she had value, regardless of her outward appearance? Did she finally grow weary of trying to reach a man that never had a heart of joy for her?

We have all felt like Leah at one point or another, more often then not I'd say. My own personal struggle in the area of self-image has been quite a journey...one that continues daily, but thankfully a journey that God has been so faithful to see me through. But that's a story for a different day. Or night actually. I fear my eyes shall cross if I type much more!

My favorite scripture right now is Psalm 45:11, "The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

The word enthralled means "to be filled with wonder and delight." Imagine that! God, all knowing, all powerful, gracious, merciful, provider, deliverer, comforter, protector...GOD, He looks at me and is filled with wonder and delight. No matter what. Regardless of how I feel about it. Regardless of what other people feel about me. God is enthralled with me! The same God that was filled with wonder and delight when He looked at precious Leah is the same God that looks at you & me today and finds us pretty darn awesome.

Leah spent so much time fighting for Jacob to notice her. She tried everything in her power to cause his eyes to turn towards her. All the while God was gently whispering to her soul "I'm enthralled with you Leah. I think you are beautiful. I think you are pretty darn awesome."

That same God whispers to us, His precious daughters, that very same thing today. You are beautiful. You are precious to me. You bring me joy. You bring me delight. I am enthralled with you. With YOU.

The Devil made me do it

2010-05-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

Joei was just sharing with me what she learned today in Sunday School; they apparently are learning about "The fruit of the Spirit." So she told me a story about giving, and how you feel when you do and so on and so forth. Then she said, "You remember when me and Jaden used to be selfish? I'm glad we aren't anymore. I think that was just the devil that made us do that."

So it looks like Joei and Jaden are free from being selfish! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Wow, to be free at 5. My goodness, the world is their oyster.(Sarcasm noted of course!)

If life were that simple eh? If freedom only came that quick...ah but it does. Sometimes. And sometimes it's a process. A long, grueling process. We all have junk. We all have stuff. We all have issues. Some of us have more junk than others. And I don't mean junk in yo trunk. Although I have plenty of that junk. But I digress!

The Bible tells us in Galatians that it was for Freedom that Christ set us free, that we are not to be burdened AGAIN by a yoke of slavery. I find the word "again" so interesting. When we open ourselves up to any kind of sin, it's tough to break free from it. I love how the Bible describes it as "entangling." So true. But at the same time, Christ died so we could have freedom from that. Is the freedom there the moment you receive Christ? Absolutely. But then there is that word "again." There must be a reason for that word being in that particular verse right? I imagine it applies to those that are set free from sin, those that receive that initial freedom when they accept Christ, but then AGAIN, they walk back into that sin, just as quickly as they walked out of it.

Sin is an interesting word. There are loads of definitions of Sin. But I've always heard it to mean "missing the mark." I like that. Anything that draws us away from God, it's sin. Anything that causes us to not be the best version of ourselves that we can be, it's sin. Plain and simple. We don't like to say the word sin much, because it causes people to shut you out, we don't like to hear that word. But I loved something that Joey said today in church, he was talking about it being God's kindness that leads us to repentance. And that's so true. God is so kind. So loving. He wants us to have the best life possible, so He leads us to repentance, He leads us to freedom. Again. And again. And again.

The Lord never gives up on us. The Bible says that He is kind and compassionate; that He is slow to anger and rich in love. He is so rich in Love. The Bible gives us a guide book to live by; standards that are purely for our benefit. The Bible standards are not given so that a particular church, denomination or Pastor can tell us what to do, they are given for us to live our best life possible. It's up to the Lord to show you what to do with your life. It's up to Him to guide and direct you. It's up to Him to speak to us in that still small voice, to show us a certain area in our lives that perhaps is prohibiting us from being the best we can be. It's not up to man to do that. Man can't offer freedom. But Christ can. Christ did. And He will continue to do it. He was human once. He knows how easily the devil tries to trip us up, to make us miss the mark that God has intended for us.

I love the Grace of God. I can't say enough about it. It is so heavy on my heart these days, in a good way of course! Unfortunately, the church in general, has such a stereotype about it. That the church hates sinners and that it's just a bunch of hypocrites and that you have to be x,y,z (you fill in the blank) to fit in. When I hear things like that, it makes me sad. Seriously, seriously sad. Because their are wonderful churches, churches that operate under the banner of Grace. That all are welcome in the house of God, no matter where you are from, no matter what you have done. Perhaps my heart is so drawn to grace since we now Pastor a church and I see people that just need the love of Jesus, not a list of rules. Or perhaps I'm just at a place in life that has me so doggone thankful for His grace. Whatever the reason, I am thankful for God's grace. I'm also thankful for His gentle leading in my life. I'm thankful for His great love, His great mercy. I'm thankful for His provision, for His compassion. But today, I'm thankful for His freedom. The freedom that He gave me 19 years ago when I accepted Him...and the freedom that He has continued to give me. Again. And again. And again.

Good Friday

2010-04-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

I will be honest, I'm not sure why today is called Good Friday. I've done a bit of reading on the subject, but can't find a concrete answer.

What I do know is this, Jesus did die on the cross, for me. It does not matter what day of the week it took place, not to me anyway. Nor does it matter what time of year it was, what the weather was like, who was there. Not to me. There are only two things that matter:

1. That He went to the cross, for me.

2. That He rose from the dead, for me.

For me. Ya, for you to. But the fact that He did it for me, that blows my mind.

I am weak. But He did it for me.
I am insecure. But He did it for me.
I give way to worry, doubt & fear. But He did it for me.
I am not perfect. But He did it for me.
I was on a road marked for destruction. But He did it for me.
I was fatherless. But He did it for me.
I was lost. But He did it for me.
I was alone. But He did it for me.
I was shamed. But He did it for me.

Remembering what the Lord did on that cross, ya, it was good.

I am strong. Because He did it for me.
I am the Righteousness in Christ. Because He did it for me.
I have the peace that passes all understanding. Because He did it for me.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Because He did it for me.
I have been given a new road map. Because He did it for me.
I have the Almighty God for my dad. Because He did it for me.
I am found. Because He did it for me.
I will never be left. Because He did it for me.
I am clothed with strength and dignity. Because He did it for me.

He did it for you to. But today, on this Good Friday, I'm thinking about myself. Because He did it for me.

Where's my suitcase?

2010-03-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Joei & I have been talking a lot about what the meaning of Easter is, that it's much more than just a bunny rabbit. So we were talking about how amazing God is, that not even death could keep Him down; referencing the difference between when people here die and how that's it...but when Jesus died, that wasn't the way it stayed. Now mind you, Joei is extremely inquisitive. She asks questions that seriously make me have to think long and hard for the right answer. She is going to be a researcher before she dives into anything, that I can already tell. So she says to me, "I thought that when people die here they live in Heaven?" I explained that yes, that is true, she was concerned with the time frame of it all! So I talked about Joey's granny, whom recently passed, sharing about how once she died here, she immediately was alive in Heaven. And in the blink of an eye she left her adult body and returned to her 5 year old self and said, "but how did she pack her stuff?"

To Joei, the thought of Heaven without toys is boring, her words. Boring. Ah sweet Joei, it's anything but that. Granted I've never been so who knows, maybe there are toys there for kids. I'm going to bet that there is. And I'm also going to bet that Jesus rolls on the grass with all the kids and plays with their toys. Because the kind of Jesus that I love, the Jesus that saved me from the muck and mire of my life, that kind of Jesus would do something like that. He would get down and play with the kids. I'm just going to bet...

Kid stuff

2010-03-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Lily is approaching Two years old soon! I cannot believe how quickly time flies, if I had a buck for every time I've said that, I'd get that fur coat I've always wanted. Not really.

She is starting to talk in sentences now, it's so cute! Granted, Joey & I are probably the only people that fully understand her, but still, it's exciting.

Lily: Momma where sissy? (while scratching her butt)
Me: Sissy's at school (refusing to scratch my own butt)
Lily: Where daddy? (still scratching the old butt)
Me: He took sissy to school (holding firm on the no scratching rule.)

And off she runs to the kitchen for a snack. I guess scratching ones back side will make a kid hungry. I would not know this, on account of my no scratch rule and all.

Joei is starting Kindergarten soon. Again, where's my buck? She's such a good kid, truly just a great little lady! We've had some anxiety/fear issues with her over the past year, it's been pretty brutal. I hate that she has to feel anything negative, and we are doing our best to help her through it. Sometimes it's very frustrating and I find myself loosing my cool. But then I try to put myself in her shoes, realizing how her little mind feels.

Wait, I thought I tossed all the wretched dress up clothes? How is Lily running in here with a snow white top begging me to put it on? I loathe dress up.

I digress.

Joei's got her 3rd tooth loose. Insanity right? Bucks, bucks and more bucks.

She and Jaden still have a love/hate relationship. I've been picking Jaden up from school lately and so badly wish I could record the convo's they have.

Jaden: Did you know holy crap is a bad word?
Me: Yes, yes it is.
Jaden: It's ok to say though if a bad guy is trying to hurt you or something.
Joei: Ya, or a bully.

Then Jaden told a joke that she promised hilarious laughter as a result...none resulted. Poor kid hit a doozy. And Joei was sure to tell her that "it was not funny." As if that was not enough, Joei felt the need to share a joke that was not even remotely a joke. With Jaden's joke, her Muppet sounding voice makes anything funny...with Joei, she talks like an adult so to hear an adult say "what did the toilet say to the something or other" well, it sorta takes any humor right on out.

Ah the kids. They do make me laugh. And holler. And cry. And then laugh some more. Most the time.

Shut up!

2010-03-19T13:12:00.000-07:00

That's mean to say right? We teach our kids not to say the phrase, "Shut-up." We use, "hush," or "be quiet," or "shhhhhh." Sometimes though, we need to shut up. Shut the yapper, quit saying negative things about ourselves...quit saying negative things about others. And for sure, quit saying things that are not true. We just need to shut up!

I'm loving the Bible in such a new way these days, (hows that for a transition, "shut up" to "loving the Bible!") Really though, it's coming alive to me so much lately. The relevancy of the Bible amazes me, how it's living and active in my life today, just as much as it was living and active in the lives of those hundreds of years past. Amazing.

Anyway, this verse is so alive to me at the moment. Isaiah 54:17 " No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LORD.

That is our heritage, simply for serving the Lord! We are made righteous through Jesus, therefore He gives us the authority to shut the mouths of our accuser(s.) In essence, we can tell them to "shut up." Rude? Maybe. Sometimes necessary? Absolutely.

Sayings

2010-03-13T06:14:00.000-08:00

"Lily was up at the butt crack of dawn." Yes folks, I really did just say that, out loud. Where in the world did that saying come from? I mean, that's ridiculous! The butt crack of dawn? Since when does the Dawn have a butt? And what in tarnation would posses me to say it?

Sayings. I have a lot of strange sayings, I am teased on a regular basis for the sayings I use. " The bee's knees," is another fave of mine. Why do I get teased for that? It's a fun saying! Hey, you think you are the bee's knees don't ya? (You know you wanted me to use it in a sentence, don't pretend you didn't.) I guess I could dissect that one too, bee's knees? Really Jen.

"Two shakes of a lambs tail." Or there's always this one, "flying like a bat outta hades." Then of course we have the few that I have made up on my own, like "ratsapattack." Or if I like something I say, "neato frito chicken burrito."

There are so many more sayings that I use, and would love to share them, but you see, this little sucker woke me up at the butt crack of dawn, so my mind is still a tad foggy.

What sayings do you use?

Win souls

2010-03-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

The following verse jumped out at me today, ok not literally, because well, that would be plain freaky, but you know what I mean.

Proverbs 11:30 says, "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise."

Isn't that the crux of the Christian faith? This verse could be the theme of any church, group or person. And yet, I think we get sidetracked on everything else. Yes, the "everything elses" of life are so important, but what about the good old fashioned basic Christian walk.

This verse may mean something totally different to me than to another person but how I take it is this: Our life is intended to produce fruit, fruit that will last. That is a great sign that we are doing something right! When the fruit of our life is multiplying, when it is ripe for the harvest, something is working right.

Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

When we operate by those guidelines in life, or if you are like me, we strive to operate by those guidelines, (because Lord knows I often am the exact opposite of that verse,) the fruit that we will reap is life! And by life, that means people will be drawn to the Lord through us and in turn, we win souls. Ah, I love that!

It really is so simple to be a Christian, I wish folks did not complicate it so. Jesus loves us. Simple. Living your life for the Lord is so much better than anything else out there, so much sweeter. Simple.

Matthew 22:37-39 says, "Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself."

Simple. Love God, love people. Win souls.

No eye has seen

2009-11-20T12:43:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 2:9 says, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him."

I was just driving down the road today and this scripture popped into my head, so I got to thinking about it...in my head...as you do....where else would I think? I guess I should stop saying that "I had a thought in my head." It only makes me look my hair color. But I digress.

There are some fantastically beautiful places on planet earth right? If you went to Hawaii, you would be in awe. There are islands in the Caribbean that would take your breath away! I hear New Zealand is quite amazing as well. The list goes on and on and yep, you guessed it, on. I'm sure if we could physically be in the most gorgeous place this earth has to offer, we might find ourselves thinking that surely this must be what Heaven is like. But alas, it could not be true. If it were true, than the scripture would say, "go to the most beautiful place on planet earth and yes, that is what God has prepared for you." But it does not say that. In fact, it says that 'no mind can even conceive what God has prepared for us!' Amazing. We can let our imagination run wild, and when it reaches a dead end stop, that won't even come close to the goodness that is prepared for us.

It would be enough for me, to just have my sins forgiven. It would be enough for me, to just walk in victory over flesh, once and for all. It would be enough for me to have every tear wiped from my eye. It would be enough for me to stand around the throne singing "Hosanna in the Highest." That would be enough. I can't fully conceive even those things...but imagine, that God says there is much, much more prepared for those that love Him. And I do love Him. I do.

The grace of God never ceases to amaze me...and I pray more than anything, that it never does.

I can't take it!

2009-11-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

Why don't mothers have video cameras built in so that they can record every last crazy detail that happens?! Sure enough, the funniest scene just played out in the backyard and alas, no camera.

Joei and Jaden are playing in the backyard, ever so quietly. Given the quiet, I assume they are up to something. I go back there and indeed, they have the hose on, in 60 degree weather. Now to many folks 60 degrees is a heat wave but to this wimpy California girl, it's downright cold. COLD I say.

Me: Turn that hose off right now.

Joei: But we are just giving our pets a bath (hence the stuffed animals in buckets, now drenched and probably about to meet their new home called the garbage.)

Jaden: Ya, we were just trying to keep the grass watered and clean the patio (with the most hilarious 'don't you know anything Auntie' look she could muster up. And with her shoes on the wrong feet. AND covered in mud. AND with pajama bottoms on under a dress, with a jacket.

Joei: We have been out here stepping on spiders (now said in a sing-song voice) and killing bugs that are already dead. And taking their heads off.

I go inside. I can't take it. They are too funny for words. I take them their lunch to eat outside because the filth will now require a tub...and Joei comments on the beauty of the blooming Hibiscus, and proceeds to dance like she thinks a hibiscus would dance.

Annnnnnnd scene.

Crazy kids

2009-09-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

I need to share a few Joeisms...I can't bare to forget.

" Mom I'm so glad I was not born a boy, then I would just have to look embarrassing all the time. I would have to wear flat underwear and have a flat butt. "

" Jaden, do you want to play a board game? It's not boring though. "

Auh Joei. She still thinks everything "butt" related is funny. I hope that passes. She and Lily have the typical sister relationship. Joei completely is the boss of Lily and tries to push her out of any affection from Joey as she possibly can. They do have moments where they play nice with each other, Lily runs to hug sissy every morning. But more often then not, they push each others buttons. Anytime I am telling Joei no, Lily pipes in and points to Joei yelling, "NO!" That makes Joei as mad as can be! It's funny to watch, I can't help but chuckle. And this, Joei does not appreciate.

They are doing great though. We decided to start Joei in Kindergarten next fall, one more thing she does not appreciate. She wants to be in Kindergarten. But we figure with her B'day so close to September, it's better she be in the oldest group than the youngest. We'll see...

Lily is a typical toddler now. I forgot how much work they are at this age! Lily is far more into stuff than Joei ever was so I feel like I'm getting my money's worth in toddler hood. She is cute though, so that makes up for it. Sometimes.

Grace and Truth

2009-09-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

Luke 4:22 says, (speaking of Jesus) "All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips."

Gracious. That word just jumped off the page at me this morning! I think so often we picture Jesus' ministry here on earth to always be so intense; as if He was just turning over tables, calling people out on their sin & going after Pharisees. It's easy to over look the real reason He came, for grace. Perhaps it's just me that thinks this way though, since I tend to be the one that thinks Jesus has grace for everyone else, and not for me. The Lord has really had to work with me in this particular area, and still does. It's much easier for me to say that God has grace for you; I can believe that with every fiber of my being however, it's humbling to say that He has grace for me.

The Bible also says in Isaiah 30:18 that He longs to be gracious to me, that He rises to show me compassion. That became one of my favorite verses awhile back, that the Lord would long to be gracious to me is mind boggling. I'm the least deserving of such a thing and yet, He longs to do it.

No matter what I've done, no matter what I will do...wow. I look forward to being in Heaven one day and watching the old movies about Jesus' ministry here on earth. He spoke truth. Truth is always authoritative and gracious. Authoritative words should never be harsh, and gracious words should never be without power. Everything about Jesus was mixed with grace. Yes, even the time he over turned the tables in the temple, it was done in grace. When He met the woman at the well and read her mail so to speak, that screamed grace as well. The way that Jesus spoke to sickness with authority, there was grace. When Jesus would cast a demon out of someone, He drove it out with authority but again, the grace for that person was present.

That is amazing. Oh if we could only live our lives by the same token that Jesus did. That we would show grace to people, yet walk in authority. That people would want to be around us just because of that sweet grace we walk in. That we would take authority over the things that try to hold us captive. That we would take authority over the sickness that would try to come against us. That we would take authority over the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts. All the while, showing grace to others and not forgetting to show grace to ourselves.

The Lord longs to be gracious to us, He rises to show us compassion. Sit on that for awhile! If that does not make you smile and have a fantastic day in the Lord, I don't know what will. Thank you Jesus for that amazing grace.

And there go the Crepe Myrtles

2009-08-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

I posted last year, around this same time, about my favorite tree, the Crepe Myrtle. I likened it to the seasons changing and what not. Well it's that time of year again, where my favorite tree is starting to loose it's luster. Some still look real good, as they probably bloomed a tad later; however you can see the tree's that bloomed early as the fluffy flowers they exude are now beginning to dry up and fall.

I've been reading a book lately called, "Never give up!" I'd like to share a short excerpt from it:

"God uses difficulties to make us people He can trust and people He can use. When we face adversity, we must have the spirit of a conqueror. David had to face Goliath before he could become King. We must not try to escape or avoid difficult situations while we are going through them. Instead we need to say, "God, if this is something I have to go through, then I am going through it victoriously. I want to go through it with the attitude of a conqueror. Whatever you want to do in my life through this, I want you to do. But one thing I ask, God, that you help me press past my feelings and behave in a godly manner all the way through it." Getting away from trouble never needs to be our goal; our goal needs to be to conquer it with Christlike attitudes and behaviors."

I don't about you, but that challenges me. Like the Crepe Myrtle that is now beginning to dry up, it's so easy to let our heart dry up, taking on offenses and becoming embittered. It's so easy to allow frustrations and impatience overtake the goal set before us. I want my blooms to stay ever so beautiful, not allowing anything, not anything, to take me off the mark. The place of God's purpose is the place of His power. That's where I want to stay, in the place of God's purpose. So long as I stay there, His power can work through me...and what a mighty place to be. How amazing is the Lord, that He would be so gracious to us, to allow us to be vessels for His power. Wow. Unlike the Crepe Myrtles that bloomed to early, perhaps before it was time...as they were tricked by the strange weather, now they are drying up before their time. But imagine, if we wait on the Lord, we bloom when He tells us to, we jump out of the boat when He says its time, we go when He says to go, imagine how lovely and prosperous our blooms will be. It does not make a difference the source of the trouble, if we can walk through it with the attitude of a conqueror, then we already have the victory. It starts with us.

Shake it baby

2009-08-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while on the treadmill, my loving and honest daughter asked me the following:

"Mom, why does your butt always shake when you are on the treadmill?" To which I replied, "it just does."

"Mom, (in the most serious tone she could muster) do you want me to hold your butt for you while you run, so it won't shake?"

I had to stop to laugh...I'm always up for a reason to stop anyway! I told her that I was ok, she did not need to hold my butt for me. She persisted though, "mom I really can? I can."

I know dear. I know. But we don't hold people's butts.

All in a days work

2009-07-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

It's official, we have sibling rivalry in our household. Joei took a good year to show her true colors towards Lily but man alive, they are red with anger! Or green with envy. Or whatever other colors express "that she is annoying." Yep. Joei is almost 5 and says her sister always annoys her and interrupts her shows and tells her no. While yes, that is all true, cut the baby some slack, she's only one year old!

I remember sibling rivalry with my younger brother; except it did not really set in until my teenager years. I was cool with him around as a kid; everything around us was such a mess that I welcomed his birth. I was thrilled! But once we were older, forget it. I was mean to him...real mean. I think I have since apologized for those years, if not, I need to! Poor guy.

I guess it's natural. Or maybe it's not. No matter the norm, I want my girls to be loving towards each other. I don't want them to grow old and regret they spent more time fighting than they did loving. Perhaps I'm way over analyzing this, Lily has only been in the family for a year and all...but still. My mind goes. There is no stopping it.

I actually threw my hands up and said to both girls, (after Lily spilled Joei's water and they both began to wail as if I cut their legs off) "I quit being mom!" I walked out of the room and Joei followed me pleading, "be the mom, BE THE MOM!"

Well ok fine, you talked me back. Whatever, I'm the mom. But can I just have like 2 seconds off from that particular role? Would using the restroom without a toddler crawling on my lap be too much to ask? Or perhaps a shower during the actual day-time, that didn't involve a child throwing toys in to join me? Or sleep? Sleep? Do people still do that? Hmmm.

Ya ya ya...I'm blessed to be a mama, this I know. It's a great thing in life; something I thought I never would experience. For many years I made up excuses as to why I would not have kids, all rooted in fear of course. Have some of my fears come true? Sure. I've seen some traits in myself that I feared I would, yes. Do I get through it, pray through, cry through it, talk through it...yep. Yes I do. And it brings me back to this place, the place of thankfulness. That even though I didn't think I could be a mom, the Lord knew I could. And while I mess up more than I would care to admit, my girls still call to me "BE THE MOM!" They would not trade me for anyone...and I think that's a pretty neat thing.

The President

2009-07-09T17:44:00.001-07:00

Joei just saw President Obama on TV and the following conversation took place:

Joei: When he is done being the President, will he be the old President?
Me: Yes. We need to be praying for him, he does not make the best choices.
Joei: Why? He has such a nice smile!
Me: Laughing hysterically.
Joei: But he looks like he loves God because of his big smile!

(I wish that were the end of it, my wonderfully mature, almost 5 year old has such wisdom right? However, I would be remiss if I did not document what she is now recording on a recordable card that she keeps changing...)

"Obama farts, he has a big butt and he goes poop and pee.")

Why do kids find potty humor so funny? WHY!!!!!

I'm tired

2009-06-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

Allow me to forewarn you, this will be a long and boring post. I just want to have it my arsenal when Lily has kids of her own!

I recall blogging when Lily was a small infant about what a chill type of personality she seemed to have; I lied. She is not the least bit chill! Over the past few months, she has shown us her true colors! Lily has a temper on her like no other baby I have ever seen! Man oh man if you do something she does not like, forget about it! She will get all red faced and hold her breath and give you the meanest look you ever did see. Um, you are one kid, chill out.

I guess what has me so tired is that she has not slept all that great since she was oh, about 2 months old! It's funny, she slept great around that time, but she slowly picked up some bad bedtime habits. She will go a few days, sometimes less, of sleeping really good at night...then she goes on spree's of waking at night for hours, or just not going to bed good at all and staying up for hours...and hours....and crying....and wanting to be rocked, or her head rubbed, or her little butt patted or a bottle. Yes, a bottle. I have tried letting her cry a bunch of times, but I always cave because she sounds so pathetic. I know crying works, at least it worked like a charm on Joei around this age. But Lily? Well, Lily is a totally different personality than Joei, go figure. I guess I assumed my kids would be the same! Lily is far more strong willed than Joei, at least that is how it appears. And hey, that's a great quality to have as she gets older, and grows into a woman and what not. But for now, at one year old? Not so much.

I've always been hesitant to let her cry it out as I seem to often have a reason why it just isn't a good time. She had bladder infections in the past, tons of colds, often cutting teeth...all obviously not times to let her cry. So I'm always second guessing myself on letting her do that, even though it may be the key to solve her sleep habits.

And my last gripe and I promise I am done; she wants to be carried all the time. If you dare leave a room, she will follow you whining until you either pick her up or sit down on the floor. Perhaps she is starting separation anxiety. Perhaps she's just so darn social that the thought of being left alone in a room just does not sit well with her! Or perhaps she's just being a big old baby! Who knows. One thing I do know is this, I'm tired. But I reckon this too shall pass...and I will have this proof for Lily when she has kids of her own. Good luck with that Lil, good luck with that!

Opposition

2009-06-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

You ever have something happen in life that would seem very obvious to just be a plain old attack from the devil? Something does not go your way, a particular person gives you trouble, trials and what not hit out of the blue...the obvious conclusion that we jump to is the devil right? And yes, sometimes it is just a plain attack of the devil, trying to get us off course, to lose the mark that we are set for. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's the Lord.

I believe that God puts things in our paths just to see what we will do with it. And while we start praying against all sorts of things, perhaps it's just the Lord trying to refine us, building character that cannot come any other way. How are we going to know that God is a healer, unless we have had to battle sickness before? How will we know that God is our vindication, unless we have had to face injustice? How can we know that God will provide all of our needs unless we have been in a place of absolute null?

The Bible tells us that ALL things work together for the good right? So when I'm faced with opposition in a particular area, do I trust that God will indeed take that and work it for the good or do I shrink back and run from the problem, thereby losing whatever good that God was going to do?

We all face trials. We all have difficulties. We all have our family issues. We all have bills that seem never ending. We all have moments that test our character to the fullest degree. What do we do with those moments? Sure we can pray the stupid devil away, that certainly does not hurt! But what if we just say Lord, do your good. I trust you. And I know that I know that I know, you are working ALL things for my good. Not some things...ALL things.

He's all I need

2009-06-05T14:05:00.000-07:00

Joei generally goes to bed pretty easy for me; we have her routine and so long as it's followed, all is well. Unless she wants her dad. Then it's a bit more time spent assuring her that he will be home soon, calling him and on and on. She will drag that horse out as long as she can!

Last night, she was in tears at bedtime, she wanted her dad. She started getting so upset that she could not catch her breathe and began saying over and over, "Call my daddy, he's all I need!" Over and over. And over.

I personally can't resonate with a statement like that, at least not in the physical realm. I don't recall a time in my life that I ever wanted my dad, a time that I thought he would meet my need. Ever. In fact, I had a terrible time accepting that God wanted to be a Father to me. So much so that I did not like calling God "father" because to me, that was an insult to the Lord. He was so much more than what I knew a father to be. It has taken quite a few years but yes, I do have a father. And yes, He is all I need.

When Lily was in the NICU and we were given the worst diagnosis possible, He was all I needed. When I quit my job to stay home with Joei and we were not promised any additional stable income, He was all I needed. When I have faced various trials throughout my life, again, He was all I needed. When I woke up this morning with a beat in my heart, even still, He is all I need. As I sit here this fine afternoon, in my wonderful home, yep, still...all I need. No matter the phase of life I am in, may I never forget to "call my daddy, He's all I need."

It's inevitable

2009-05-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

Gas. It happens to the best of us right? Well, I have noticed that the gym brings out the worst in people, quite literally. You sweat, you stink, you get wedgies that you have to ever so discreetly dis-lodge from places you never knew underwear could go...it's not your best time, appearance wise. Well, then you have the fact that you are all loosey goosey from working out, sometimes it just creeps up on ya...you know, gas. Not much you can do about it, but just hope that your neighbor thinks it's someone else right?

Odd post, yes. It just hit me as hilarious today though as I was laying on a machine (no I had not passed out, as some would guess...it's supposed to lay down) and this man walked by me and without a care in the world, let one go. And I mean, loud. No care from him, no little chuckle, no comment like "oops, that's embarrassing," no squeezing of the buns to hold it in...nope. He didn't care. He was at the gym. And well, it's just inevitable.

Lily Rae turned one!

2009-05-14T10:40:00.001-07:00

It's official, she's no longer a baby! No more will I say she's x months old. I realize that when people ask how old your kid is, and you say it in months rather than years, you can see them trying to calculate the age! If you are talking to a person that has not had little ones in a long time, forget it. They will just nod their head like they know exactly how old 19 months is, even though they would rather hear oh about a year and a half!

But I digress. Lily is a funny little girl, that's for sure. She lets you know exactly how she is feeling, when she is feeling it. Her whole face tells the story. Either she is so excited that her legs move a mile a minute, kicking back and forth, or she is so cross that her face gets the most pathetic look of any baby I've ever seen. Very expressive that Lily. She is not the greatest sleeper and I will be sure to remind her of that fact when she has a newborn of her own. Though of course being the control freak that I am, I will offer to live with her when she has a baby so as to take the brunt of the sleepless nights. I'm sure I will be the mom that causes Lily to say to her close friends "I love my mom but she really needs to give me my space!"

Again, I digress.

Lily Rae we love you and are so happy that you are part of our family. We cannot imagine what it was like before you were here. Well, that's not true. I slept a whole lot better! But that's ok little putter, you are worth every minute I miss. Most of all though, I look back to this time last year...you were still in the hospital. It was the worst feeling I have ever had, leaving there each day, without you. I can't describe how awful that felt. But I'm so glad, so thankful that the Lord touched you in a quick manner. After 8 days, you were home. It was the longest, blurriest 8 days of my life, that's for sure. But what a great end result. Happy first Birthday Lily!

Compassion International

2009-05-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

I follow quite a few blogs, a few of them being folks that just went on a trip for Compassion International, an amazing ministry. The blog posts so moved me, that we decided to sponsor a child from India. I have always loved the Indian people, ever since I was a teenager, so it seemed fitting to pick a child from that culture. I am not posting this to act like I'm super awesome for doing that, I really just want to brag on my kid a minute. I told her my idea, she jumped right on board with me, so we sat at the computer and began to look through the kids that were in need of sponsors. Bless her little heart, she wanted to sponsor a child "that had no family." And she totally understood the importance of doing so as well. We were unable to find any orphans, so we continued the search and she ended up picking a little girl named Ashwini, real close to her age. We read all about her life, Joei looked at the blog posts I had been following, the pictures and video and what not. It's really been a great way for us to talk about how blessed she is in life and how much more we need to help people. I really think this is going to be such a great way for Joei to learn compassion for herself...

I look foward to getting to know this sweet little girl, and getting to see my sweet little girl grow as a result. I will keep y'all posted!

Good thing

2009-04-23T15:41:00.000-07:00

Joei: Mom, what's a stretch mark?

I show her, as I have stretch mark a plenty.

Joei: Is that where they cut your stomach off? (referring to my c-section of course.)

Me: No, it's right here. (I show her my scar.)

Joei: They only cut your stomach off and not your face?

Me: (chuckling.) No, they didn't cut my face.

Joei: Oh. That's good that they didn't have to cut your face off, because that would hurt.

Me: Yep. That's a good thing.

Seriously?

2009-04-16T11:24:00.001-07:00

I need a permanent video camera taped to my arm or something; the things that come out of my 4 year olds mouth are insane! She is well into fashion, has been for awhile now. It's taking new turns though, I must say. She wants to wear her "heels." I got her a pair of peep toe wedges at Target awhile back, only because they were clearanced for a few bucks and I thought what the heck. Well, she gets mad when she can't wear them. She gets mad that she can't wear a dress to school. Hello child, it's still chilly and you play outside in the morning at school. She does not think it looks "cute" to wear jeans. She brings me outfits that she puts together to ask my opinion on them. What bow shall she wear? How will I do her hair? What shoes can she wear? Can she put on lipstick?

Seriously? You are 4! She is also quite the help when getting dressed myself though, as I know I'm going to get an honest opinion. I even hear Joey ask her what shirt she thinks he should wear. It's hilarious! She is very aware of fashion in other people, of their hair, of their make-up, the whole package. Maybe the Disney Channel is on too much in this house, who knows, but for whatever reason the kid is all about fashion...oh wait, she was "all about Barbies" this morning. Her words.

You should hear the bickering that goes on between us in the mornings...I can only imagine what her teenage years will bring.

Pray for Stellan

2009-04-15T21:01:00.001-07:00

Hey guys - I know there are just a few readers here, but if you could take a moment to pray for Stellan, every bit counts! The latest blog entry has some big changes for the little babe, he needs prayer.

Thanks!!

Perspective

2009-03-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

Lily has been sick the majority of this year, nothing real major, just colds and what not. We did have a scare with multiple bladder infections a few months back, and today found out she has a pretty raw throat with white little bumps...so while it's nothing life threatening by any means (although any sickness with your baby is heartbreaking regardless,) it's enough to keep her awake at night, often. She does not sleep all that great, she has not slept all that great for months now. Last night was another rough night with her and in fact, I'm a but delirious so if this makes no sense, forgive me.

In my bad attitude towards my lack of sleep, I'm hit with such an awe of gratitude to the Lord. I'm thankful that my momentary trouble is simply a baby with a nasty cold, some teething issues & sleep trouble. There is a button on my blog to pray for baby Stellan (you can click on it if you want to read more.) He's just a little guy, fighting for his life in the hospital. I have a friend whose mother is facing Alzheimer's. Joey just visited a man in the hospital from our church who is battling cancer. He had a major operation on his stomach in order to get just his basic functions going again. He looked at Joey and said how thankful he was for the Lords grace in his life, that he did not deserve it. He is fighting his momentary battle better than many of us fight silly little things.

In this moment, my heart is turned toward those battling real serious life issues. I don't know how they do it; not only face the battle, but attack it head on with faith. It's amazing to me. In this life we will have trouble, says the Lord. But He tells us to take heart. Why? Because He has overcome this world. He has overcome that sickness. He has overcome that diagnosis. He has overcome that financial pit. He has overcome that depression. He has overcome that adversity. He has overcome. Thank you Jesus that you are there to give strength to those that need to overcome. Thank you Lord. And forgive me for allowing the silly little things in life to cause me to lose sight of the big picture. Remind us to pray Lord. Remind me to pray.

2 Corinthians 4:17 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

She's ready for college

2009-03-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

Selah gave Joei a Hannah Montana hat the other day...Joei put it on and said, "ok mom, I'm ready for college!"

And here is Lily in a hat her sis put on her...

My girls are getting so big; I have one ready for college and the other one ready to walk soon!

And it starts...

2009-03-12T13:21:00.000-07:00

The clique's that is. At 4 & 1/2, Joei is already doing the old girly business. She started pre-school a few weeks ago, just to get her a little bit of exposure before Kindergarten (we have not 100% decided to put her in K this year, but are leaning towards it, we'll see.) So the first week she seemed quiet, kinda sad. She said she had no friends except for Jaden. Well the 2nd week she kicked it off with a bang because she announced she made a friend named Taylor. Fast forward to the 3rd week and this is what she just told me:

Joei: " Moltse (yes, that's her friends name) wants be my friend. So I'm her friend. But Bridgette only wants to be Tiana's friend. "

Me: " Bridgette does not want to be your friend? "

Joei: " No. "

Now this is not the first time she has mentioned this Bridgette gal, so my guess is that she's the "popular" girl. Brother! It's already starting. Too bad she has a good 18 years left to deal with this...then she gets to deal with adult cliques. Welcome to the real world Joei!

On a side note, I now have proof positive that the TV is on too much in my house. I'm sure you have seen the infomercial for the "Snuggie" right? It's the creepy, monk looking blanket with arms that's all the rage amongst TV infomercials...well we were driving home last night and Joei told me that she was cold...and yes folks, that she wished she had a Snuggie. A Snuggie? Seriously? Oh my kid. Not only are you a TV junkie but you pay that close attention to the commercials you actually debated with me when I said it was called a "Snugglie." For the record, Joei is correct. Just give the girl a Snuggie will ya.

To be, or not to be

2009-03-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

This post will be pretty random in nature, I'm in a chatty mood! I just put Lily down for a nap and Joei is happily watching cartoons. She's quite the TV junkie. If I kept it on all day, she would more than likely sit and watch, ALL DAY. So needless to say I have to be careful how long the TV is on for. I used to keep it on TLC for hours, just as I would putz around the house, it would be on in the background. However, Joei started enjoying watching The Baby Story and shows like that! So ya, no more background TV. I used to worry that I let Joei watch too much, and maybe I have/do, but I'm over that worry! I figure heck, I grew up watching TV and I turned out ok. I just monitor what's on and for how long and it seems to work for us.

She is in "prayer mode" today. It's so cute. For some reason, she's all about praying for people. And you can tell she's trying to think of words that she has heard people pray before. "God, we love you. God, you are mighty. God, give us strength. God, help the people that have no home and no food. God, give them strength. God, give them prayer. In Jesus' name, Amen." It's so adorable, I want to get out the camera but I don't want to bring embarrassment to her praying. So TV & prayer, that's what Joei has going on today!

Lily is not napping. I hear her in there talking. She is 10 months old tomorrow! It looks like a tooth is FINALLY poking through. She has a cold, and apparently teeth popping up, poor babe.

I wonder what my girls will grow to be? I have been pondering that lately. The most consistent answer Joei ever gives to the "what do you want to be" question is a doctor. She goes between being a Pediatrician and an Obstetrician. My guess is she picked up on the whole Ob thing from The Baby Story. See, one day if she does become an Ob, I can tell all the TV nazi's that her watching TV inspired her! Ok, ok, I digress. So a doctor would be neat. She also was on a kick for awhile there, talking about being a "Carni" when she grew up. She wanted to run the rides. That lasted until she realized she had to travel and leave home. Phew! So I guess she plans on being a doctor and still living with us. Fine by me! I wish I could see into the future, just to see what she becomes, should the Lord tarry. She also loves music, so I could see her doing something along those lines. Although Joei does seem shy when it comes to performing in front of people, so maybe not. But she's often making up songs, playing her toy instruments and singing. Who knows. (I'm just documenting what I see now so I can come back and read it one day!)

Lily, on the other hand, has a totally different personality than Joei. I know it's hard to say at 10 months old, but she is coming into her own. She seems to me like she will be a bold personality, very strong. I see her being the more outspoken one of the two. Joei has a leader quality about her, but it takes her awhile for that to come out, she has to be really comfortable. Whereas Lily seems to be the kind of baby that's a go getter...except when it comes to feeding herself or holding her own cup. In that case, she's a lazy bones.

Anyhoo. Just random thoughts I'm having today...

I remember

2009-02-28T14:59:00.000-08:00

I'm having one of those "thankful" days, ever have those? Just a day to reflect on all you have seen, all you remember, and being thankful for where you are today. I remember.

The other night we met with the Pastors at our church that do outreach and as we were talking about different things we want to do to reach our city (mind you our city is named the "most miserable place to live) I remembered. I was sharing with them how there was a time as a kid that I recall getting food from a church. It broke me into tears talking about it, as if it just happened. We lived on Welfare most of my childhood, and that's not a fun place to live. It was not like my mom did not work hard either, it was just that my dad was no help at all to her financially. She did not sit around, collect government money and call it a day. She was one that tried her hardest to get off the system; but with 4 kids, you can imagine how hard it was. When I look back on my childhood, I generally think of everything from my perspective, how it affected me. Now that I'm an adult, with kids of my own, I can only imagine a glimpse of what my mom must have felt on a daily basis.

I did not intend for this to be a sad post however, sometimes you have to remember the rough times in order to appreciate the now. I remember. And I appreciate. I generally am a thankful person anyway, not because I'm super awesome and always have the right attitude, no. I guess it's just because I do remember, I remember where I used to live. And I see where I live now.

I'm so thankful that God lifted me out of the mirey clay, that He set my feet on a solid rock. I'm so thankful to have a great family, to have great friends. I'm so thankful to be part of a church that is gearing up to reach this miserable place to live. I'm just so thankful. Because I remember.

He hears

2009-02-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

I know that God hears us when we pray; I pray with full faith that God is totally hearing me, that He is placing things into action to facilitate the answer that I need. Yes, I believe in the power of prayer.

Having said that, I tend to forget that God hears me when I'm just talking to Him, not really praying for anything in particular, just talking. I know He hears me, but sometimes I need to be reminded that I know it.

Just now, I was sitting down to read a bit before I go to bed, ya, it's 8:30 and I'm getting ready for bed, so what?! Anyway. I just was talking to the Lord briefly about different areas in my life that I feel are lacking...you know how that goes right? You always have something you feel inadequate about...at least I do. I found myself telling the Lord things about myself that I wish were different, and to even type them out here, well, it would sound so silly to you all. It's not physical, although I always am griping to the Lord about weight. Nope, tonight I was just talking to God about how I wish that I were smarter, had more to offer people...more value...things along those lines. I won't go into detail, but you get the gist right.

So I open a book that I have started to read before but had forgotten about. I decide to read the introduction, and was reminded that yes, I know God hears. The intro starts off talking about the time that Mary went to the tomb and was met by Jesus Himself! It goes on to say how Mary knew that Jesus cared deeply about her simply because He called her by name that day...this is the portion that jumped out at me:

"God knows each of you and cares for you just as He cared about Mary. He knows your name; you belong to Him (Isaiah 43:1). No matter who you are or what kind of baggage you carry with you, no matter what you look like or feel like, no matter what you do or don't do, God loves you just as you are right now. You don't have to get your act together, lose ten pounds, run a marathon, write a best-selling book, or raise perfect children. You are an extraordinary woman in His sight right now."

Ok, crazy right? Man. No sooner had I just finished talking to the Lord about all these attributes that I feel are lacking in myself, that I read that He thinks I'm extraordinary. I have never, ever used that word in describing myself but lookout guys, I may just have to start!

So there ya have it; the next time you start off on a list of things you want to change, remind yourself that you are already extraordinary!!! Just.as.you.are.

What have I started?

2009-02-19T15:44:00.000-08:00

Joei just walked in and said, "Mom, you will be so happy to hear this! Payless has the BOGO sale!"

Creepy Barbie lives

2009-02-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

Joei had been asking for this life size Barbie that she saw at Wal-mart, and Santa being the jolly old soul he is, decided to bring it for Christmas. She was over the moon when she saw it. Immediately she stripped the Barbie of her clothing and wore it herself. It fit, sorta. The Barbie made the rounds with her that day, at the table, in her room, in the middle seat of the car. Seriously.

Jaden came over on Christmas morning and was lucky enough to get a shot with the Barbie. Jaden, please contain your excitement.

Joei was very possessive over the Barbie, as if she were her real life friend. They danced together, sang, chatted...yep. Now can you see why she acquired the name creepy? You can't? Just wait.

Joei also got a Hannah Montana wig from Santa, here's a shot of the awesome wig along with El Creepo.

Well Creepy Barbie was laying low for awhile, she just sat next to Joei's bed. Creepy Barbie has not been played with much for the past few months...however, she has made a come-back. She sat at the table last night while Joei ate supper. Joei has danced yet again, chatted yet again and yes, wore her clothes.

She gives me the jeebs because at first glance you think it's a kid sitting there! Still not sure why I call her Creepy Barbie? Well, you would call her Creepy Barbie as well if you were in the kitchen, minding your own business, only to turn around and see this....

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Wait for it....

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Imagine very scary music playing right now...think "shower scene from Psycho."

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Lily's birth

2009-02-08T19:20:00.000-08:00

I don't think I have shared Lily's story surrounding her birth, and I figure with the rate that time flies, I better get it documented. We encountered some scary stuff when she was born, fear of the unknown. But in that, God showed Himself mighty. Take a walk back there with me, will ya?

Lily was born on May 7th, 2008. I had a c-section scheduled around the time I was 39 weeks along, due to the fact that I had a previous c-section. Where I live, you don't get the choice to have a natural birth if you have had the section...fine by me though, I probably would not have gone natural anyway. I like knowing what's happening! Having said that, I was far more afraid the second time around. I thought that I would not be, having been there before...but perhaps that's also why I was afraid. I remember the fear that crept over me as I was having the spinal inserted; it was a panic, none that I had ever really experienced. I was just praying and saying Psalm 23 over and over in my head. They layed me down and the panic continued, so much so that I thought I was going to have a panic attack of sorts! I was so scared! And I don't really know why. Regardless of the reason, I was freaking out and I could feel myself slipping into a bad place mentally. I just began to take deep breaths and pray...that helped. The anesthesiologist gave me some medicine as I was beginning to get a very bad headache...thankfully the medicine helped as they feared I had gotten a "spinal headache" and that would have not been good at all.

Dr. Hickox was late in arriving, crazy doc that he is. I really liked him, he was a fantastic doctor! So funny, very animated...but busy. And so he was late. They already had my spinal in so time was of the essence when he arrived. I remember asking him if he had started and when he said yes there was a load off my shoulders. Perhaps that was part of my fear, that I would feel it! I know that I did not feel it when I had Joei but who knows, my mind was wandering.

They brought Joey in and that was such a relief as well. We did not talk much, just waited in anticipation of Lily's arrival. The doctors were commenting on how I stuffed that big of a baby (8lbs 11ounces) in there as my belly did not seem all that huge. Out she came! Dark hair and crying! I got a quick glimpse and she was off to the nursery, Joey followed.

It took the doctors about 20 minutes or so to close me up and I was off to recovery. That's such a bizarre feeling, lying there being closed up, knowing that your new baby is somewhere in the building, outside of your body. Very strange.

I finally got to my room about an hour and half later, got to see Lily. She was sweet as could be. I tried to nurse her, she latched on a little bit, but pretty soon after she threw it up. Kinda strange. A little while later Lisa gave her a bottle and she threw that up too. Hmmm. I did not really think anything of it.

I had a few visitors...but my greatest joy was seeing Joei Kate meet Lily for the first time! So sweet. Dr. Hickox came in and basically kicked everyone out, told them I needed to rest. So everyone went home, and there was Lily, in a bassinet next to my bed.

When you have a c-section, you can't move for a good 8 hours or so...I could not reach Lily in the bassinet so I had to call for help when I needed her. Lily began to choke, at least that's what it sounded like to me. Thank God a nurse just happened to be walking by and grabbed her and was able to help. I asked them to take her to the nursery because I was afraid she might do that again and I could not get to her fast enough. They did. I tried to rest but I really couldn't. I wondered what Lily was up to. They didn't bring her back...I thought that was kind of strange. I would occasionally ask a nurse how she was and they would just say she was eating or sleeping, something like that. I was content with that as I knew I could not really do anything for her at that time.

I didn't sleep at all that first night I don't think. I had some loud neighbors...and your adrenaline is still going that it's just hard to rest. About 4 in the morning, 2 nurses came into my room, with Lily, to tell me that they are taking her to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) and that they brought her to me to say goodbye. Huh? She was fine. She was eating and sleeping. What do you mean the NICU? The nurse told me that they had been observing her in the nursery due to her throwing up; they ran blood work on her and found that she was fighting some sort of infection in her blood.

Tears filled my eyes as I held Lily for a few seconds, said a prayer and kissed her on the head, handing her back to the nurses. It was probably the most awful feeling I think I have ever felt. I had no idea what they meant and why they had to take her there. She looked fine. Everything was fine. This was not supposed to happen.

I did not want to call Joey at that time, no sense in getting him worried at 4 in the morning. I laid there in bed, awake, praying, crying, wondering...I finally called Joey at 6 am and told him, I could barely even speak. He had Joei to care for so he could not just rush down right away, as I know he wanted to.

I sent a text message out to friends to start praying, and the first person to show up was Marlene (AKA Grammy.) I remember the flood of emotion I felt when I saw her; it was the same feeling I would have had if it had been my mom walking through the door. It's hard to describe the feeling, it's just like this flood that comes over you. I was glad she was there. I needed her there.

It's all kind of a blur as to what happened next. The nurses helped me stand, a very painful process after a c-section. Anyway, I eventually got to the NICU and there was Lily, in an isolette, with little sunglasses on as she was also being treated for jaundice. The doctor said that jaundice should not show that early on in a newborn. Great. He also said he may have heard a heart murmur. Ok. And that she had a blood infection...and depending on how the blood culture came back, she may or may not need a spinal tap.

They had stopped feeding her because she was just throwing up everything she ate. She wanted to keep eating, but they had to call it quits. That broke my heart. I began to pump, and thank God as soon as she got some colostrum, she was able to keep the food down.

Long story short, by the 3rd day, her white blood cell count was beginning to get back to normal, the doctor said her heart was fine, she would not need a spinal tap and she was able to come out of the isolette and into a regular bassinet! Praise you Jesus she was going to be just fine. She had to stay in for a full dose of medication though, so we got her home on the 8th day.

Looking back, it feels like a blur. It was a very tough time, to say the least. We had to drive back and forth to the hospital a few times a day; that's difficult to work out when you have another child to care for as well and I was not allowed to drive. In that time, my incision did not heal, so I had to have another surgery to fix it. It was a very difficult time. It was a trial.

At the time, I was not thinking to myself, "oh boy, I'm in a trial." No. We just walked through it. We just prayed, and walked. Trusted and walked. And the Lord brought us through it.

I'm very thankful for Lily and her health, I know that many a parent does not have the fortunate outcome that we had. That's one of those things that we will never understand, not until we get to Heaven anyway.

Little Lily is a miracle. She turned 9 months old yesterday! Cute as can be. I've been blessed with two really great girls...I don't know why the Lord picked me, but I'm glad He did.

25 things

2009-01-31T12:42:00.000-08:00

A challenge from a pal's blog: Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, challenge your friends to do this!

Prepare to be bored.

1. I love cookies. I could probably eat a good 8 in one sitting and not flinch. I love chocolate chip cookies, double chocolate cookies, peanut butter cookies, all the cookies that Subway carries pretty much, and cake...basically I love anything baked!

2. I was relieved when I found out Lily was a girl. The thought of having a boy scared me.

3. My mom was 14 years old when she got pregnant with me. Last weekend we were having supper with some folks after church where the subject came up of my mom's age; one of the people there said, "wow, you were a statistic waiting to happen." At first I was taken aback, thinking, um, you really just called me a statistic (he meant it as a compliment though, I think...) But the more I think about it, he's right. And I was honestly on the same road that my mom was on, just waiting to join the "statistic" ...but then God...

4. Sometimes I speak before I think, then regret what I said. On the same note, I often mull over a conversation in my head over and over to think of what I could have said better/different.

5. I have control issues.

6. I call Joey "bear." I rarely call him by his name unless it's in public, and even then sometimes I forget! He calls me that as well. And we call Joei that too. We have not called Lily that yet though, hmmm, must be a rite of passage or something!

7. I can be super sensitive and get my feelers hurt easily...but I won't show it.

8. I have done my make-up pretty much the same since I was 14. Oy-vey.

9. I'm uber modest.

10. Someday I want to be a hospital Chaplain. And a writer.

11. I'm afraid of spiders.

12. I value the good friends I have. Things they do for me, that seem trivial to the average Joe, mean the world to me. I appreciate it more than I can ever say.

13. I like funny people.

14. The last time I slept a solid 8 hours, without waking, was July 2005. Seriously! I remember it. It was the Friday that we came home from summer camp. I slept from 10-6 without a peep.

15. Lily is SO close to crawling right this moment! Joei is trying to help her. I'm so thankful for my healthy girls. They are so fun! Drive me nuts on occasion, but fun nonetheless. And I'm pretty sure we are good with our 2 kids. I don't know that I'm made to have more!

16. Food is my friend and my enemy at the same time.

17. Public speaking scares the crap out of me (sometimes quite literally,) but at the same time, I love to do it.

18. I love airports.

19. In like the 5th grade, my friends and I performed "Walk like an Egyptian" in the talent show. I wore a full body spandex suit. Yep.

20. I stalked Joey when I met him.

21. When I was about 11, I was playing freeze tag with some neighborhood kids and I had to take a break to use the bathroom. As I was peeing (sorry if that's t.m.i) I remember thinking to myself, "I'm having the best day!" Fast forward to my wedding day, I took a potty break during my reception and I remember having the same exact thought.

22. I cry very easily.

23. Sometimes I feel like a crappy mom.

24. I hate to exercise. But I also hate being overweight. I have battled weight for more of my life than not. But that's a whole other post!

25. I was "jumped" by a group of girls when I was 13. I also thought I was Mexican at the time, had insanely huge bangs and tried to talk with an accent. I wanted to change my last name to Servantes, that was the last name of the gals I hung out with. I'm embarrassed of that particular era of my life! Come to think of it, I deserved the beating I got! Oh yes, and to make matters worse, a few days later, I got caught stealing make-up at K-mart. My step-dad grounded me from make-up for like 2 months. I happened to start going to church around that time, and my 14Th birthday fell into the "no make-up" period. Well, with the scratches from my beat down, my step-dad let me wear make-up to church that night. Only that night though. So from then on I just had to sneak the make-up...I accepted the Lord a few months later.

Alright, so who's up for the challenge?

Congratulations sis!

2009-01-31T11:12:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to tell Jess how proud I am of her; I already told her, but I want y'all to know why too. I will just give the brief story, it's up to her to go into detail if she wants...anyway, she moved here over 2 years ago, with nothing, just her and bug (that's the nickname for her daughter Jaden, who is 3.) She came to live with us from our hometown of Sacramento, there was nothing for her there, and she just needed that extra hand to help out with Jaden. The very next day she went into a temp agency and what do ya know, she got a job! Just like that. It was totally the Lord that she move here as everything fell into place. It will be 3 years in September that she has been at that same job, imagine that. Jess has had many ups & downs on this road she's on but she keeps on going, and I am so proud of her for that. I admire her more than she knows.

Anyway, I say all that because yesterday she came over here during her lunch break to tell me some great news; she had won an award at work. And it's not just any award, you know the kind that your boss gives you and it's just some little pat on the back to make you not want to leave and to work harder for them for nothing in return...ya, this was not that kind of award. This was a company wide deal, and her company is world wide, not just here in the states. Her name was announced in front of all the big wigs there in New York! She is the youngest one to win this award.

It amazes me to see what God has done with her in the short time she has been here. Jess was willing to do whatever she needed to do in order to get ahead and life, and she has done just that. This award is proof of the hard work she does every day for a company that really still has no idea of the character of this woman. Her co-workers do though, she models it to them daily.

Way to go Jess!

Peep her blog out too, she's hilarious!
http://canigetsomeurllove.blogspot.com/

Ya I don't know why I can't get the link to work...you can copy and paste though

Get the camera, quick!

2009-01-30T14:09:00.000-08:00

Man I wish I could get this filmed without Joei knowing...she is in the backyard playing by herself and I hear this song coming from her, with attitude and all:

" Hey boys, take a walk on the wild side....I said hey boys, take a walk on the wild side. "

100 posts?

2009-01-29T19:16:00.000-08:00

Really? I have posted 100 times? Huh. I'm a regular sitcom in and of myself.

Well in honor of my having posted 100 times, I thought I would share a few pictures that Cindy took of the girls...it's been awhile since I posted any. I have shared before in one of my 100 posts that I'm the worlds lamest photographer, so anytime someone else snaps a shot, I like to share it!

And this last one is typical of a day with the two of them, Lily being man-handled by Joei and her crazy face!

Out of the blue

2009-01-28T14:16:00.000-08:00

I love the out of the blue statements Joei makes, this is one that I don't want to forget. We were just sitting there with Lily and Joei said, "the other day, when we were watching the new President, the people didn't clap for the old President. They clapped for the other Presidents, but not the old one. That made him feel sad."

Um, ok. For one, how in the world did she pick up on the fact that nobody clapped for President Bush? Sure, some people did, but I heard that people actually boo'd at him. I was not paying that close of attention when he was introduced, though it was on and I saw it, I just don't recall the booing or lack of clapping. As the previous Presidents were being introduced, I was trying to explain to Joei that they were not the new President and what not. So the fact that she could totally pick up on that, just shocks me! Kids are so perceptive.

Name your pet peeve

2009-01-28T08:16:00.000-08:00

What drives you nuts?!!

I have quite a few, more when I'm pregnant or when my period is due! Um let's see. I can't stand gum smacking. Drives me up the ever lovin' wall. I don't like the sound of crunching on chips. Close talking people. Humming. But not the "oh I'm humming to my kid type," the "oh I'm humming to a song I don't know the words to but I'm going to pretend I do by humming." Sorry. I had a friend that used to do that and I wanted to scream "YOU DON'T KNOW EVERY STINKING WORD TO THE SONG, AND NOBODY CARES THAT YOU DON'T KNOW IT SO STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU DO!" Sigh.

There are more, but those two little things in the living room called my kids are requiring food or something trivial like that.

So c'mon. Share!

Slumber party?

2009-01-26T12:17:00.001-08:00

Already? Apparently Joei thinks that she is ready for a sleep-over, at someone else's house. Hmmm. Doubtful.

Joey preached at a church in Brentwood yesterday so we went with him last night; the pastors are really nice people that I have not seen in years, so along we went. Joei made a little friend named Lilli (yes, that is the correct spelling; I guess when you meet someone with the same name as a child of yours, the spelling is bound to come up,) she was 5. Lilli was so cool because she was not afraid of a fake tarantula they found on stage. Why there was a fake tarantula on stage, I know not. Nevertheless, Lilli was uber brave for touching it.

So we went out to dinner after church and brave Lilli was there also. Joei, Lilli and another little girl Ava were playing at the restaurant together, driving all the other patrons nuts I'm sure. I took all three girls to the bathroom, yep, I guess the girl tag along to the bathroom thing starts young. I had to go in the big stall as I needed to change Lily's diaper, so Joei had to go with me. Lilli went in her own stall; after all, she is 5, and hello, she aint mine. So after we leave the stall I tell Joei to wash her hands. Well, she was already on the way to do that, but did not want me tagging along. When she realized I was behind her she totally stomped off and said "Grrrr why does my mom always have to come with me!?"

I laughed. Did she have attitude? Yes. But it was too funny and dramatic I totally let that one roll.

So then she & brave Lilli come up to me and decide they are having a sleep over. Lilli proceeds to tell me what her house looks like, and that if I just go on the computer, I can find it. Um, ok.

We wrap up our time together and get ready to head out...I'm sure all the folks trying to enjoy a quiet supper breathed a sigh of relief. In the car, Joei insists that she wants to sleep at Lilli's house. Riiiiight. For one, don't know her, don't know her mom, don't know anything about them. So that's not happening. For two, Joei is so anal about bedtime I cannot imagine her sleeping somewhere else without causing quite a racus. Maybe she would do it, but I doubt it.

She does not understand why she can't sleep over somewhere when her cousin Lila is allowed to stay here. Hmmm. I can already tell this is going to be a tough one in the future. Aint no way I'm letting Joei stay anywhere unless I know the parents extremely well, and even then, I may need to put a tape recorder in her sleeping bag just to record all the goings on!

So awhile ago she asked me if she could have a sleep over at Jadens. Good luck with that one Jess...

Prime example of why we need to pray

2009-01-23T09:21:00.000-08:00

For President Obama that is. The following article was on Yahoo just now...

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama plans to sign an executive order ending the ban on federal funds for international groups that promote or perform abortions, officials told The Associated Press on Friday.

The move, long expected in the Democratic president's first week in office, will be welcomed by liberals and criticized by abortion rights foes.

The policy bans U.S. taxpayer money, usually in the form of U.S. Agency for International Development funds, from going to international family planning groups that either offer abortions or provide information, counseling or referrals about abortion. It is also known as the "global gag rule," because it prohibits taxpayer funding for groups that even talk about abortion if there is an unplanned pregnancy.

Also known as the "Mexico City policy," it has been reinstated and then reversed by Republican and Democratic presidents since GOP President Ronald Reagan established it in 1984. President Bill Clinton ended the ban in 1993, but President George W. Bush re-instituted it in 2001 as one of his first acts in office.

The Democratic official and senior U.S. official who disclosed the plans did so on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to pre-empt Obama's announcement.

Obama was expected to sign the executive order at a low-key event, one day after the 36th anniversary of the landmark Supreme Court ruling in Roe v. Wade that legalized abortion.

The move was not a surprise as both Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, who will oversee foreign aid, had promised to do away with the gag rule during the presidential campaign. Clinton is to visit the U.S. Agency for International Development, through which much U.S. foreign aid is disbursed, later on Friday.

Obama has spent his first days in office systematically signing executive orders reversing Bush administration policies on issues ranging from foreign policy to government operations. But, save for ending the ban, Obama has largely refrained from wading into ideological issues, perhaps to avoid being tagged a traditional partisan from the outset after his campaign promises to change "business as usual" in the often partisan-gridlocked capital.

Rather, Obama has chosen to focus initially on issues in which there is consensus across the political spectrum and support from the public, such as closing the prison camp for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to making government documents more accessible.

Organizations that had pressed Obama to make the abortion-ban change were jubilant.

"Women's health has been severely impacted by the cutoff of assistance. President Obama's actions will help reduce the number of unintended pregnancies, abortions and women dying from high-risk pregnancies because they don't have access to family planning," said Tod Preston, a spokesman for Population Action International, an advocacy group.

Prayer request

2009-01-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

So I know only a few folks follow this blog however the Bible says that where two or more are gathered, that He is there to meet the need...so I will take all two of you!

Please pray for my friend's Paul & Lisa. Their little girl Abby, she's 4, has Scarlet Fever & Strep Throat. It appears she has developed quite a bit of junk in her lungs so please pray for a quick recovery and strength for her parents. Also pray that her little brother Gabe does not get it.

Thanks!

History is made

2009-01-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

I've never been much into politics, however I find myself mesmerized at all the Inaugural happenings today. Watching the masses of people that just hoped to hear President Obama speak to them in person, that was pretty astounding. The first African American President. What a wonderful thing for the country, I can only imagine the pride that must be felt from every hardworking African American. Or from the older generation that saw slavery first hand. Amazing. Although, his race was never an issue to me, at all. Though unfortunately I'm sure it was for many other Americans, and that's why this day is so historic. Personally, I did not vote for him for other reasons, things that I don't agree with...however, gotta love the "howevers" in life don't ya. However, God has called us to pray for our leaders, and that's what I will do.

I was trying to explain to Joei this morning about the President, and what his job is. I told her that we needed to pray for him to make wise decisions. So when she saw Obama on the screen for the first time, she asked if that was the new president and I said yes. And she said, "oh he's just some guy from the news!" Well ya, he's been on the news but my darling, yes indeed, he is our president...and we need to pray for him. She said, "no we don't, he has not made bad decisions." So there ya have it, while Joei may have faith in our new President, many don't. That being said, it's not up to us as Christians to criticize and argue the political views surrounding President Obama; rather it is up to us to lift him up in prayer. No, of course we don't have to agree with everything, or keep silent. There is a time and a place for that though, but for now, I hope that we can just pray for President Obama, and his family.

1 Timothy 2:1-3
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior.

How did I get here

2009-01-18T21:41:00.000-08:00

To age 32 that is. When the heck did that happen? Gosh, I remember being in my early 20's and thinking that was a crazy place to be and now thirties? WHAT?!! Yep, I turned 32 the other day, and I'm comfortable with that. I don't mind aging, to be honest, I welcome it. I like the person I am now, much more than the person I was in my early 20's. I mean sure, I was cool then and all (well, not cool in the sense of the word, I dressed like a serious dork, wait, I still do...) but I liked myself fine and all, I guess I just like aging because with it comes experience and maturity. That's not something you can teach a person, it has to be learned. So the cards with jokes about getting older, well, they don't really phase me. I'm good with it. For now anyway =)

So my pals threw me a surprise little shin-dig last night, it was so fun! I knew something was up, just because I can read my husband like a book...I know when he says certain things that yes, something is most definitely awry. But it was so thoughtful, it really touched me, more than I can say. Sometimes I forget that there's a handful of folks out there that really do like me! I'm the kind of person that likes to do things for people, I don't say that to act like I'm all super awesome or anything, I mean that I just like to see people happy and doing good, and if I can help in some way, that's great. So I guess that I don't expect that people will in turn do things like that for me. That sounds so lame, I can't explain what I mean! For example: my friend Deana gave Lily a bazillion hand me downs from her daughter; clothes, toys, jumper's and baby carriers, all types of stuff; I remember thinking man, she could totally sell this stuff and make a good chunk of change but she would rather give it to me. Why?! Well, cuz she's my friend. It's just hard for me to accept that kind of stuff sometimes. I'm totally content to give to others, but receiving is a bit tougher for me. Although that's a totally different post for a different time!

A cake. Something as simple as a cake brought me to tears! I am always the one to make the cakes for peoples birthdays, I love to do it actually and don't mind a bit. But to have the Garcia's actually put thought into a cake for me...it was nice. Real nice. And my sis remembered that my favorite ice cream is mint chip...and I don't think Charity knew this, but I love, love, love spaghetti.

It was a wonderful supper, with wonderful friends...a birthday I won't soon forget. Thanks guys!!

Disneyland is "sorta" the happiest place on earth

2009-01-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

I have yet to post about our trip to Disneyland; we went back in December and had such a great time! I say it's sorta the happiest place, because we did encounter a few meltdowns. The good thing about them though, is that they serve as tips for any future visits to the old mouse house. For instance, it's very dark at night there - you would think the lighting would be much brighter at night! Then again, it is in California and being the liberal state it is, they probably are some strange type of energy efficient lighting! Ah but I digress. So ya, the dark. Joei was not keen on much at night, simply for fear of the unknown. I'm afraid she gets that from me, likes to know exactly what is going to happen and when and why and where and, well, you get the gist. By the last day there, she had just about conquered her fears of the unknown and was down for pretty much anything...but of course it was the last day!

Lily was a trooper! She enjoyed being in the baby Bjorn much of the time, rather than the stroller. It was challenging with an infant, due to feeding & sleeping schedules, diaper changes and what not. That being said, she really did a great job! She slept well at the hotel for us and was just an all around good little bug.

The car ride was about 7 hours, with the LA traffic and all. The girls did surprisingly well! I only had to crawl in the back seat a few times =)

Here we are at the front entrance

The famous Sleeping Beauty castle!

This was the Joey's in line for their first ride, Joei chose Dumbo!

The girls on a train ride

Joei & Cinderella

Joei & Belle (She was SO classy, I loved the way she talked)

This is Joei at Ariel's Grotto, that is where we met the princess'. It is a ridiculously expensive breakfast, so Joey was telling us to "eat every morsel!"

Snow White

And the last princess photo, Aurora. You may wonder why is there not a picture with Ariel, being her grotto and all. Well, they take your pic with her as soon as you walk in, and she vanishes. They then want you to pay a bazillion dollars for said picture. Sorry Joei, here, have another bagel.

King Triton's Carousel

I was trying to get a nice photo of Joei in front of the Christmas tree however, being the known terrible photographer that I am, this is the best ya get.

I just love this picture! We were in line for the "Finding Nemo" ride, and it ended up being a good 45 minute wait...Lil just couldn't hack it any longer!

Kickin' back, waiting for the tram to take us back to the parking garage

And this is the last pic we took, with the ridiculously priced ears on. Everything is ridiculously priced there! But we had a great time, look forward to going back when Lily is older and able to enjoy it.

And now comes the tude

2009-01-11T16:33:00.000-08:00

Attitude, that is. In full force here in our household, and no, not from me =)

Joei has always been prone to coppin' the tude (as my mom used to say) but man alive, she is drivin' me nuts with it the past few weeks!

We got home from church, she was sitting down to eat and I told her to go wash her hands...

" moooooommmmmmmmmmm that STINKS. I just want to eat my chicken. " (and stomps to the bathroom no less.)

uh-huh, ok kid, eat your chicken, and all the filthy little germs that you picked up from the time you left my car at church until now. Good luck with all that.

Ok, ok, maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but gosh, is it too much to ask that you wash your grubby little hands prior to eating? I think not.

Ya, the tude's visiting. I say "visiting" in hopes that we can nip it in the bud. Although doubtful, I will do my best. However, I have a feeling my mini teenager is here to stay.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

2009-01-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what kind of a dork I have become since having kids, but apparently I'm more of one than I thought.

I left Lily in her room, sitting on the floor and playing with toys. Joei was in there as well, in the chair, stuffing things in her guitar. I was doing my daily blog reading and I heard Lily fussing, Joei was oblivious to her fussing, still shoving things in her guitar. By this time, Lily was flat on her back, mad at the world because she can't sit herself up on her own. Rather than roll over and grab a toy and just play with it that way, she laid there, whining for me to come fix her situation. Of course, as her mom, I am happy to do that...but I found myself saying to both girls, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I have no idea where that came from, I can't recall the last time I heard that. It must be my inner dorkdom coming out or something!

It's true though! When crappy things happen, it is much easier to lay there and wait for someone to fix it, or at least to tell us how to fix it. Like Lily, I would rather flop around like a fish than muster up the energy to roll over and do something about it on my own. But how much more rewarding is it when you take that lemon, and you make lemonade?

I did not have a great life as a kid, I have shared that before...but at the age of 14, I accepted the Lord. From then on, I made lemonade. Yes, it was hard, very hard. I had to learn to forgive people, I had to realize that I was the only one that held responsibility for my happiness. Sure, it is still an ongoing process; it's not like all of a sudden sun rays beamed down from heaven and a thousand person choir was behind me singing "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and all was honky dory (if that's even a word!) It was a process. It is a process. We continually will get lemons, sometimes more often than other times. And you may have a season that you get to go without the sour little suckers. But when you get the lemon, make lemonade. Sure it may have seeds, sure it may still need more sugar, but doggonit, it's lemonade.

I'm not just referring to huge obstacles in life, we get little lemons all the time as well. What do we do with them? The car breaks down, there is not enough money to pay the mortgage, you have a falling out with someone...really the list goes on and on. Or you have the lemons that are not big problems in the scheme of life, but they still affect you. I really want to get Joei into some Pre-K before she starts Kindergarten, but we have not been able to afford it. Well, to me, that's a lemon. So what am I going to do with that? Not sure yet. We might be able to swing a few days a week now, hopefully. But if not, I will just have to look around and try to teach her some things on my own, and hope she gets her social end of school from church. See, that's not a big issue in the scheme of things, AT ALL. But to me, it is. Just like you may have a nagging situation that to the regular bear, aint no big thang. But to you, it is. Lemons are lemons. It's what we do with them that makes all the diff.

Well I have kept your ear longer than one should so I'm signing off with one last thought, Pink Lemonade is the best! Taco Bell and Miguels (a Mexican restaurant here) have the best. Just in case you wanted to know!

Joei is going to now watch her new Little Mermaid movie since, "she is wearing Ariel pajama's so she feels like a mermaid."

You big cry baby

2009-01-05T19:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our first official Sunday at Lakeview, as Associate Pastors. It was such a great day! There are some really wonderful people there, just genuinely nice. And so excited about us being on staff! Sure, sure, it's like a honeymoon period...I'm sure soon enough they will not like us for something or other, but until then, it's nice to feel so welcomed =)

Joey wanted me to share a little bit before he spoke, and of course, as usual, I cried. I wish I could master the art of crying & talking at the same time, but I just can't seem to do it. Cry baby. I'm such a baby. I don't mind that I cry, I just would like to be able to continue talking without that awkward pause! Oh well, all for the Lord I suppose 'eh. I do get emotional when I talk about my past, because it reminds me of all the Lord has brought me through.

So anyway, the thought that came to me when I was sharing yesterday was out of Matthew 28, when Mary went to the tomb of Jesus after he died. She was met by an angel of the Lord that told her Jesus was Risen! He was not there! Those words just jumped out at me from the page the other night, He is not there. Nope. He rose, just like He said He would. What amazes me is that the same power that rose Him from the dead, that same power, it's available to us. Whatever we have need for in life, that power is ours to draw from. That's pretty wild.

Well that's that. It was a great day! And I cried. Nothin' new on that front though.

It's a new day

2008-12-28T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today was a really cool day, very emotional to say the least. We went to church in Roseville, Abundant Life Fellowship, for a few reasons; to have Lily dedicated to the Lord and for Pastor to pray a release over us.

Pastor Bird in Roseville has been our Pastor for years, he married Joey & I (along with Donnie) and he & his wife Janice have been huge influences in our lives. We had Joei dedicated back when she was just a few months old, so we wanted to have Lily dedicated there as well. Praying a prayer of dedication over our kids means so much to me; just hearing the words of blessing over my kids, man, that's enough to make me cry. I want my girls to grow in the grace of the Lord, to know God all their days.

Another thing that blessed me today was just hearing the excitement in Pastors voice over our new adventure with the church; he is SO proud of Joey and how much he has grown over the years. It was refreshing though, just to hear someone that we respect so very much say that he believes in us. Pastor believes in us. It's sort of like an out of body experience, this whole new day we are coming into. We have had dear friends pack up and move here to Stockton, just to be part of the church. That boggles my mind to be quite honest! We are thankful for the friends we have, and the friends we are going to make along this journey.

Anyway, that's my day. A new day. I'm so excited! I'm so happy to have a task to do as a family now, one that we can all be part of. I don't pretend to think it will be all super and easy and wonderful...yes, there will be tough times...but man, as long as my family is together, we are gonna get through it. And I think we are going to have a fun time doin' it!

On a side-note, I have ate too much cake for one person. Like, a ridiculous amount of chocolate is in my belly. It's not good. Well, the cake was good. The fact that I ate massive slices, not so much.

The Santa card

2008-12-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year, for many reasons of course. However, pullin' the Santa card ranks pretty high on the list. It's my sure fire way to get Joei to obey without discipline.

Me: Joei, you have to take a nap.
Joei: I don't want to take a nap. I'm not tired.
Me: Do you want me to call Santa?
Joei: No, I will take a nap.

Me: Joei, tell me no one more time and I'm calling Santa.
Joei: Sorry mom. Please don't call Santa.

Me: Pick up those toys now or Santa's gonna hear from me.
Joei: Ok.

Me: Do the grocery shopping, bath your sister, clean the house and do my hair and makeup for me, or I'm callin' Santa.
Joei: Ok.

Alright, alright, the last one is a slight exaggeration, but you get my drift. The Santa card is awesome man! It's good from at least October on until Christmas. Then you have the Birthday card during the summer, that's a good one too. Then I guess when the cards run out, you have to do the discipline thing. Bah humbug!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas this year! I'm thankful for this season. I'm thankful that it represents new beginnings in so many ways. It is never too late to start fresh.

Merry Christmas!

Whatsoever things are good

2008-12-16T15:36:00.001-08:00

...think on those things. That's what we have been trying to tell Joei the past few days; to think on the good things. A few months back, she started saying the "mean" words. Now mean words to a 4 year old are your typical stupids, dumbs, shut-up, hate and although she knows not the meaning, fat. Ugh. I since discovered that she picked them up from playing with a certain friend of hers, at church no less. We pretty much were able to handle it with the right discipline and the words were gone, for literally months. Well, on the way home from Joei's Christmas program (where she did awesome by the way) she began with the words. Yep. Had lunch with said friend that day too. Coincidence? I don't think so.

When we got home from the play, we watched the video so she could see herself. She ran out of the room; I assumed it was because she was embarrassed but no, she was afraid we had video taped the car ride home, and she just did not want to hear herself say the words. Sad. I can flip the OCD switch often and I'm thinking that's what she is doing at the moment. If she hears the words, or thinks them, she feels like she has to say them. So she says them, and then cries. It's awful! I had sent her to her room earlier because she was on a "stupid" kick and I heard her in her room praying.

" Lord, please help me to not have the mean words in my head. "

Ugh. My poor baby. She's just in her first little battle of the mind. It reminds me of the scripture that I'm too lazy to look up right now, where Paul is talking about how what he wants to do, he does not do, and what he knows he should not do, he does.

Welcome to life little Joei. I'm sorry, but sometimes that darn mind gets the best of ya. It does to me as well babe. It does to me as well.

Quick praise report!

2008-12-15T14:38:00.000-08:00

Lily is all good! She had a VCUG done on Friday (they insert a catheter, fill her bladder with dye and take x-ray pics, it's awful) and it came back normal! And today, her urine tested all clear of infection! Thank you Lord!

Stalling

2008-12-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

The girls are both napping, miracle of miracles, but yes, they are both sacked out. I have a million things to do and yet, here I sit. I need to do a Disneyland post since we just got back, but I don't have the energy for picture loading at the moment!

Let's see, what else: Lily is doing pretty good. She is off all antibiotics at the moment; I have to take a urine sample in Monday for testing. She had a VCUG yesterday. They have to insert a catheter into her bladder, fill it with dye and then watch her on x-ray to see what happens when she pees. Needless to say it was an awful experience. I about puked. She was a trooper though, we played patty cake and that cheered her up. Poor baby.

Um, what else. Well Joey is going to church with us tomorrow, that is beyond exciting for me. If you know how our life has been in regards to Sunday then you know that we rarely go to church as a family. But that's changing =) He will only travel once a month now, as opposed to every Sunday, I'm so stoked!

Joei has her Christmas play tomorrow night, should be cute. She is so ready to go. I told her she should practice to which she replied, "Don't worry about it." I asked her if she had it down and she assured me she does. We shall see if she buckles under pressure or not! She is a funny kid.

Well I have stalled enough. I better go clean, do laundry, bake the cookies, work out (can someone do that one for me please, but give me the effects of it) and do more laundry. Catch y'all later!

Santa's wife

2008-12-08T05:28:00.000-08:00

Joei calls Mrs. Clause,
"Santa's wife." No two ways about it. This was the first year she has visited Santa, years passed she has wanted nothing to do with him in person. I liked that this Santa gave her the choice of who's lap she wanted to sit on, my girl did me proud and chose the wife! When you think about it, kinda creepy to just sit on some man's lap!

Anyway. Santa asked her what she wanted and she requested a drum set; followed by a request for "every instrument." Greeeeeaaaaat.

What a compliment

2008-12-05T20:18:00.000-08:00

So tonight, we were all in the living room watching a little Joel Osteen on TV, and he was talking about people being talented. Joei piped in and said, "I'm talented, and I have a lot of friends." Who knew the two went hand in hand, but to a four year old, I guess they do.

Then she proceeded to tell me that I was talented and that daddy was as well. So Joey asked her what she thought he was talented at to which she replied, "preaching!"

Now that was so cute, it really touched Joey's heart, you could totally tell. But then she went on to say one more thing, she said to him, "and you love people."

I just thought that was so neat. She knows that her dad loves people. Of course she threw me a bone and later said that I do too, but that probably was because she saw me tear up. It just blessed me.

I guess you just think that your kids see all your flaws, all the time. Parenting brings out the worst in me sometimes, that's for sure.

Lily just can't catch a break

2008-12-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

Say a prayer for Lily if you think about it; poor thing is on her 3rd bladder infection. We are not sure what is causing it, as her urine cultures all come back negative (that's a good thing so Praise God for that!) however for some reason she keeps getting them. Makes me sad because I know she hurts. Poor babe. Anyway, please pray for little Lily Piccadilly.

She's a trooper though! She proved to us in the NICU at birth that she was a strong little sucker, I know she will be just fine. The Lord brought her out of the worst case scenario in there (gotta love when docs give you the worst of the worst) so I know He can handle this one just fine. She just needs a break from pokes and prods though!!

** Update **

Lily's doctor called back and wants to schedule an ultrasound for her kidneys. She said that's where she will start, if something is wrong there, they will have to do further testing, but I pray they don't have to go that far. So please believe God that Lily's kidneys are all good.

What was I thinking?

2008-11-30T07:52:00.001-08:00

I remember back when I worked for The Money Store, oh say 9ish years back, I had many a day where I looked down at my outfit and thought to myself, "what the heck was I thinking?" You can ask my friend Amy that worked with me, and was also my roommate, about my fashion sense, or lack thereof rather. I just always seem to be one step away from looking fashionable, ok, maybe two steps. Seriously. I have zero sense. I should not say I have no sense, I mean, I know what looks good, I know what's in style and all that, I just never wear it! The majority of the reason is because I'm always trying to lose stupid weight so I never buy clothes. BLAH! One day folks, one day I will actually dress like I live in the year 2000. We always joke that I dress in the 90's still! I do. I'm ok with my dorkiness. That is, until here it is Sunday morning and I have nothing to wear to church, except something from the 90's.

The funny thing is that I worked in retail for a few years, you would think I would be better at this. I worked for Lerner, now it's called New York & Co. However, I started working there when I was 18 and back then, the clothes were geared toward an older age group. For instance, I recall having to wear stirrup pants one Christmas season. Shudder. Maybe that was the start of my fashion demise. I won't even tell you what my sisters nick named me back then. It was not nice! But in hindsight, I see it. My dorkdom started young. I never had a chance. Had I worked at a store that was more my age group, perhaps we would not be here. Or perhaps I would just be trying to squeeze into clothes that did not fit. I will never understand why women do that? Why do some people wear clothes too tight? I just can't get on board with that one. Don't worry guys, you won't catch me in spandex and a tube top anytime soon. Although I did sport that when I was about 13. Again, shudder.

Oh well, things could be worse right =) I need to be on TLC's What not to wear. Except that I'm not that bad. And I refuse to buy clothes until I weigh what I want to weigh. So technically, it's up to me. Ok, this was a lame post. Sorry to anyone that read it!

Heaven

2008-11-27T09:08:00.000-08:00

Joei was putting on a puppet show last night in the infamous box we got the other day; man, give a kid a box and it will occupy them for hours - anyway. A friend of ours sent Lily a gift in that box. It was some outfits, a blanket and 2 of the angels that say the "now I lay me down to sleep" prayer when you push the belly. Joei has taken the angels for herself, which I think one was for her anyway, so no matter. Well she was putting on a puppet show last night and this is the convo that ensued:

Me: Hello angels, what are your names?

Angels: (AKA Joei, although every now and again she can be an angel, but more often than not, I want to call her the opposite!)

The girls name is Selah and the boys name is Travis.

Me: well hello Selah and Travis, where do you live?

Angels: in heaven

Me: Oh so you live with Jesus?

Angels: Yes.

Me: who else do you see in heaven?

Angels: I see Joei's Grandma and your Grandpa.

Ok, she got me there. She did not even skip a beat, did not even have to think about who was there. She instantly said that her Grandma (Joey's mom) and my Grandpa were there. It just touched me. She really does pay attention when we explain these things to her. I did not think she fully comprehended that, since she has never met either of them. I assumed she would not grasp that concept, but in her little 4 year old innocent mind, she gets it. She gets it.

Oh to have that kind of understanding...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

I try to be thankful on a regular basis, I know that my life is wonderful and I never want to take it for granted. The little things that I gripe about are so petty in the scheme of things, thank you Lord for your goodness. Thank you for the mercy you bestowed on me. Thank you for calling me your daughter.

I'm thankful for my family; that I have such a great husband and healthy girls. I'm thankful that one of my sisters is here in town. She is so helpful to us, and a great pal. I'm thankful for my friends that are really family...I have quite a few friends in that category. What a blessing!

A few years back, I was talking to my mom about something and I remember her saying to me, " Jen, you have a nice life." Well if you know anything about my childhood, you would know how much she meant that statement. And she is right, I do have a nice life. Thank you Lord.

What are you thankful for?

And the hair keeps getting shorter

2008-11-25T16:26:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, Joei wanted her hair short. I had it cut to her shoulders. She wanted it shorter. It is now short. It's adorable on her! Here is a pic of her in a box we just received today. Well, there was a gift in the box, in case you were wondering why someone would send us just a box. Although stranger things have happened.

And not be left out, here is Lily this morning...sorry Joei, I had to crop out the mafioso face you were sportin'. It did not quite flow with sissy's smile. Well, unless you figure that she was the happy go lucky person about to be thrown overboard by the hitman. Auh but I digress.

Come on E, sing it

2008-11-24T19:08:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 30:18 has become one of my favorite verses, I wanted to share it here:

" Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you, He rises to show you compassion."

That amazes me. God. The same God that created the world; the same God that breathed life into my mothers womb; the same God that saved me from the destructive path that I was on, that God - He longs to be gracious to me. TO ME. It amazes me. It really does not get any better than that.

No matter what you have done, or have not done. No matter where you are at in life, no matter what you may think of yourself...I have news for you; God longs to be gracious to you...and that's not all; He rises to show you compassion.

God is not up in heaven with a baseball bat ready to knock you upside the head for any wrong you have done. He is not up there saying to the angels "yep, look at what Jen did now. Can't she ever get it together?" No. He longs to be gracious. He wants nothing more than to bestow grace and mercy on our tear stained souls. He is a gracious God. He is a merciful God. So merciful that he sent His only Son to this earth, to become man, to take on the sins of this world, so that He, God, could be gracious to us. Amazing. It really, really does not get any better than that.

And the rival continues

2008-11-19T15:08:00.000-08:00

I asked Joei if she wanted Jaden to stay the night (we are watching her Friday night, and it will be past bedtime) and Joei immediately said, "No, I will fight with her over something and then she will want me to get in bed with her and sing her a lullaby." All the while with her arms flailing about in the most dramatic flair possible. Just now, I asked her if if she loved Jaden and she said, "Yessssss," with a rather annoyed tone that I keep asking her that. Ok. Fine. I will never ask you again. I will wait until you are both in high school, and will drop you off in front of the school, where I will proceed to yell to both you and Jaden, "I have pictures of both of you in the tub together...naked." Don't make me do it girls, don't make me do it.

Joei & Jaden. Arch enemies for life. On Sunday, when Joei found out Jaden would not be at church, she was so sad that she would not have Jaden to play with. Rewind to two days earlier and Joei was pushing Jaden into the coffee table. Go figure.

Why the chocolate?

2008-11-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

Why? Oh chocolate, why do you tempt me so? Why do you draw me in with your creamy goodness? Can't you taste gross? Can't you taste like, say, liver and onions? You are a delight. I love you. With all my heart...and then some.

It's fall

2008-11-13T19:55:00.000-08:00

I blogged awhile back about seasons, how they affect me and such. I recall mentioning what I feel when fall rolls around; fall brings excitement. You hear negative things about summer, too hot - spring, darn those allergies - winter, stinkin' rain rain go away...but fall, well we seem to embrace fall. We love when the leaves change color, the kids love to jump in leaves, we anticipate the impending winter...until we get sick of winter, but that's another post!

Anyway. It's fall. And the leaves are changing, at least for our family. About 4 or 5months ago, the Pastor of the church I attend here called Joey for a meeting. It's really a long story of how it all came about, but I will give you the short version! The Pastor basically asked if we would be interested in coming on their staff as associate pastors. He would like to retire in a year or so, and needs to have a strong person on his team; someone that can learn from Pastor and eventually take the church. It came out of the blue for us, we were just plugging along, doing what we do, and WHAM! (I'm really only documenting this for myself to read in the future! But if you are still reading, pray for us!)

Joey & I prayed. And talked. And prayed. And talked some more. And prayed. Finally we just came to the decision that God was in it, and we needed to accept. We did. And it's been announced to the church; the folks seemed really excited about it! Joey will still travel some, doing schools with the team as he has for 10 years now, but will also be serving Lakeview Assembly.

We are so excited about it! I don't really know what else to say except that I feel such a peace about the whole thing, I know that I know that I know that this is what we are to be doing at this particular time in our lives. Like I said, it's so out of the blue...we never would have thought a door like this would open to us. But it has. And we are walking through it with anticipation of what God will do with our family.

I love the church. I love the things of church, I just love it. I accepted the Lord when I was 14, buy the time I was 15, I was involved in church 100%. I was there whenever there was a service. I'm so thankful for church because they taught me valuable lessons, things I needed to know in order to succeed in life. The people helped me learn to forgive, they helped me learn to be productive in life, basically they helped me function! If I was not as involved in my youth group, I can honestly say that I don't know where my life would have ended up. That's how much I value church. And that's why I'm so thrilled to be part of this church; because if we can help just one person feel the way that I do, heal the way that I did, then it will be worth it all. Thank you Lord for this chance. We will do our best to serve you and your people.

Joei's friend

2008-11-12T19:11:00.000-08:00

Dolce. No, not Dolce and Gabanna, Joei's friend. Her "friend" is named Dolce. She often plays with Dolce, talks to Dolce, scolds Dolce, all things Dolce. Yep. She has an imaginary pal. Named Dolce. We do know someone who named their daughter that, so my guess is that she heard the name from them but still, it's hilarious that she would use that name for her "friend." Cute. Sometimes Dolce is a girl, sometimes a boy. Guess it depends on the mood Joei is in!

Help me choose!

2008-11-10T20:26:00.000-08:00

Which picture do you like better for our Christmas card? I know, I know, they are very similar; Lily is smiling in the first one though! But the second one may be a better choice since it's more of a close up. Opinions?

Or

A smile is worth a thousand words

2008-11-08T19:39:00.000-08:00

I think I have mentioned before how much I love Lily's smile; it is so sincere. When she smiles, her entire body smiles! I especially love it when I go in her room to get her from a sleep. Her arms and legs flail about as if independent from her chubby little body! She wakes up around 6:30 every morning and I generally can leave her in the crib for a good half hour before I know that she will begin spewing profanities at me for ignoring her. Alas, I go get her. I don't want to be cussed out by a 6 month old. Besides, that's much to early in the morning for such language.

Anyway. I had a thought the other day, (yes, scary when that happens isn't it) it was about the similarities of parenting and God. I have heard so often about God's love toward us being likened to how we love our own kids, but I am seeing it all the more now that I have my own children. Now follow me here, (good luck with that by the way) when Lily wakes up, she just hangs out and talks until I come in there. I try to appease her with the paci every 10 minutes or so; poor thing gets her hopes up that I've come to rescue her but no, I'm just trying to buy a few more minutes of sleep. However, no matter how long I have left her in the crib, when I finally do go in and talk to her, she is beyond thrilled and is smiling like she has just been given a million bucks and a slice of chocolate cake. She is not mad at me, hollering at me for leaving her there for too long. She is not saying to me "hey mom, you should have come the moment you heard me, you took to long to answer me." No. She just hangs out, fully trusting that in a few minutes, mom will hear me. Mom will hear me, and she will answer me...I'm just gonna be patient. And wait.

Following me? It can be hard to follow me, I know. But isn't that what the Lord wants us to do? Just chill out, wait for Him. He will come. He will meet the need. He has not left us or forsaken us. He just operates on His time is all. The Bible tells us that all things work together for the good to those that love God right? Right. So if that's the case, I'm just going to trust God, trust Him that His ways are higher than my ways. The answer to my prayer that I think I need, well, that just may be the wrong answer. Or it might be the right one, however point A has to match up to point B until that answer can be delivered. God has it all in hand. Isn't that amazing? Just chill. Just hang out, wait for God to move. He will. Just like every morning, Lily knows that my face will eventually peek over her crib and her needs will be met. Like Lily, every morning I can rest assured that God will be there, ready to meet my need. And also like Lily, I'm just going to lay there, and talk to myself =)

Pray for our kids!

2008-11-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

If you click on this, you will be directed to a wonderful blog that I have recently stumbled upon. The writer has listed scriptures/prayers that we can use to pray for our children. It's really cool that she has taken the time to do that; she has asked that readers spread the word so I wanted to share it with you.

Need a new blog to read?

2008-11-03T11:40:00.001-08:00

I have added a few new blogs to my fav's list; check 'em out if you want. A few of them are from people that have lost an infant, so very sad. However, these people have amazing strength in the midst of their trial.

Truth

2008-11-02T21:14:00.000-08:00

I have been reading in the book of Proverbs lately...sad to say I have not been in my Bible all that much these days though; life with 2 kids has gotten me off track. I need to find that track though, because I truly sense a difference in myself when I'm in the Word consistently. Anyway, for the past month or so, when I do pick up the Bible, I read proverbs. I saw Joey reading in that book for quite some time so I thought I would peep it out myself.

I don't have a particular scripture that comes to my mind, just this thought: I think it is so cool how the Bible is applicable to our everyday life. It fascinates me really. I can read a particular verse at just the right time in my life, and it will totally change a situation I am in. What is so cool is that someone a hundred years ago very well may have been in a similar situation, read the same verse, and again, something miraculous may have happened for them too.

Well I reckon that's why Hebrews 4 talks about the Word of God being living and active. Alive. It is the only book that when you read it, it reads you. I love that! That is why the same scriptures that folks read wayyyyy back in the day, and that they lived by and were encouraged through, can still do the very same thing for us. It's really quite mind boggling when you think about it.

How cool of God to leave us with the Bible. I take it for granted sometimes. That is, until I pick it up, and read a verse that so points to where I'm at in life...and I'm yet again back in awe of what an amazing God we serve.

Dentists and dress up!

2008-10-30T08:09:00.001-07:00

Joei's first trip to the dentist was a success! She did so great, even with the crying toddler in the next room. Joei got to watch The Little Mermaid while they cleaned and checked out her teeth. She does have some crowding on the bottom, so she more than likely will need braces, but her teeth looked really good! The dentist noticed she had a click in her jaw though, something we have to watch. They gave them sunglasses to wear so the bright light would not hurt their eyes. Very cool.

Joei went to a fall festival at Jaden's daycare, they had such a great time! Joei was dressed up as Barbie at the Diamond Castle (what doesn't Barbie have her hands in these days) and Jaden was a fairy from the new Tinkerbell. They played in a bounce house, decorated cookies, had all sorts of games and treats and then were scared off by a pubescent teenager that decided to wear a freaky mask. Good times were had by all.

And here is one of Lily for good measure!

(forgive the terrible photo quality. I have no skills...)

And now Joei is super awesome...

2008-10-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

Like Lily, Joei is now super cool. I just randomly asked her to tell me something that she likes about herself, her reply:

" That I'm cool and funny. "

And that you are Joei Kate. That you are.

Name your Favorite!

2008-10-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Ok. Now that a few of my homies comment on here, yes, I have homies, posse up. Anyway. Let's talk about faves.

1. Favorite food. What is the one food you would eat ALL the time, of course in my hypothetical world, it has no affect on your body in a negative manner whatsoever.

2. Favorite Disney show of all time.

3. Favorite vacation place...even if you have never been! What would it be?

Ok, those are a few good ones to start with.

My favorite food would probably be Mexican. If you want specifics, cheese enchiladas. Tacos. I will even take good old Taco Bell.

Favorite Disney movie is probably, hmmm, I do love Cinderella. Although I get quite ticked off at the Step mother. I tend to get over involved in movies. I may have shared what I did in the theatre while watching Titanic...it wasn't good.

I really loved Hawaii and like I blogged about a few weeks ago, I will go there again one day, God willing. I would also like to go to Australia some day as well. I think that would be really cool.

Come on, share!

Wal-mart may be the low price leader...

2008-10-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

But the happy face logo they sport is a lie. A LIE I tell you! I shop at wal-mart often, every 2 weeks to be exact. I also hit 'em up on occasion in between trips for extra veggies, milk, staples like that. I don't like wal-mart, but they are cheap so you do what you have to do. I get all my groceries there every pay-day, all my cleaning supplies & all toiletries. If I don't, I end up going to other stores and going over budget.

So, yesterday was pay-day, we have very little food at home, a trip was to be made. Now usually I leave the kids with Joey when I make this trip, because the cart just gets too full to have the kids there, plus it takes a solid hour to do it. The cart is not necessarily full of food, it's full of Diet Pepsi, thanks to Joey's addiction and all. It looks like I have a freakish amount of food when I get to check out, but alas, tis soda filling the bottom half of the cart. ANYWAY.

Joey is not home so I prep to take the kids. I just know that when I have kids I cannot get everything, so two trips will be involved, but that's ok, I have prepped. Right? Right. Wrong. Today's trip went south, real quick. As soon as we get in the store, Lily starts fussn. I pick up speed. Joei wants every princess dress in sight. She wants bubble bath, even though she no longer takes a bath for fear that she will lose self control and pull the plug...but that's a whole different post.

I grab the toiletries, some face wash, and I pick up some foundation; don't wear foundation, but seeing commercials has caused me to think I may need some. Gotta love commercials. We make it to the slipper section as I had promised Joei slippers prior to my whole, "I'm no longer buying her anything until Christmas" kick. We get said slippers. I head to the baby section for wipes, some baby food and jammers for Lily.

I have a route mapped out at wal-mart. I take the same route every time I shop. Yes. I'm anal. But my route works.

Joei has to pee. Of course she does. Why wouldn't she? I mean, it's not like she had just went pee before we left the house, like 10 minutes ago. We head back to the bathroom, and in wal-mart, we all know that's not a short trip...bathroom is closed from cleaning. OK. Now they also have a family bathroom, but a young woman, maybe 20 years old, is waiting for it. I don't know about you, but when I am alone, and I see that there is a little kid needing a bathroom, I let them go in front of me. Did she offer? No. So I said to Joei (in a tone that would make any crotchety old man proud) that we had to just go home.

Yep. Threw in the towel. Between Lily fussin' and Joei needing to pee every 10 seconds, it was time to go folks. Clearly the outcome would not be good had I stayed. Joei would have more than likely wet herself, and Lily possibly would have overthrown her infant seat, as she does have freakish strength.

I check-out. I spend way too much on just the 2 bags of stuff I bought. And I still have no food in the house. Well, unless you count salad dressing and ketchup as a well rounded meal! Throw in some top ramen and you are good to go!

We get home and Joei lolly gags around the house! Um, are you kidding me? I thought you had to pee. You better get in that bathroom and pee like you aint never peed sister! And the slippers? Ya. They are too tight. But do you think I'm going to go stand in that long line to return them? No. $8.50, down the drain. But you can bet she is wearing them right now.

** Disclaimer **

I realize that this is a gripe. I know that it's the least of the problems in the world today, and many people would love to have the chance to visit the irritation that is wal-mart. I just know that years from now, I will want to look back at my wal-mart fiasco, and my kid that had to pee. Cuz believe me folks, this is not the first wal-mart fiasco I have had...and it won't be the last! And yes, I'm a total wuss. Try being the Duggar family on a wal-mart trip! No thanks.

Growing up is hard to do

2008-10-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

You ever feel like the most craptastic parent on the face of the planet? Well, ok, maybe not the worst on the planet cuz there are doozies out there, but you ever feel really low on the to tum pole? Man I do. It seems I doubt my parenting skills more than I praise them, that's for sure. Joei is doing a number on me these days. Terrible two's? Not so much. Terrible three's? Nah, not really. Ferocious fours? Yes.

It is such a hard balance for me because I don't want to spoil my children, yet I want them to have the things I did not. But I guess not having the things has made me a thankful person so perhaps I need to fore go the extras...ugh. Well Lily is up from her nap. Joei has been the guinea pig thus far, so maybe I will have it figured out by the time Lily is 4. Eh, who are we kidding, I won't!

Lily thinks she is super awesome

2008-10-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

She gives you that look like, "yes, I'm super cool, and I know it." She has discovered that she can get her toes in her mouth and when she does that, you get the look. She can hold her own bottle, again, the look. She can grab a toy and yep, she is super awesome when she does it.

Lily has the most sincere smile of any baby I have ever seen though, her whole face smiles if you know what I mean! It's precious. Her sister is the one with the attitude, so I thought that with Lily's sincere smile and all, that perhaps she may escape the attitude. Eh, probably not. Seeing as how I'm getting the look of super awesomeness these days from her, I reckon it's just a matter of time before she too tells me that "I'm destroying her life." Ya, I heard that one the other day.

Kids, kids, kids

2008-10-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

Joei is a kid. She is a full-on KID! No more is she my little baby, she is an actual kid. I saw her tonight at church, playing with her cousin and a few other girls and man, it hit me, she is growing up. Of course I have known that, I'm not a total nut case or anything (just a partial one!) but seeing her today, running around like a big kid, it just made me realize how mature she is becoming. Yes, yes, I know she is 4 and the word mature probably does not go with being 4...however, in my opinion, Joei has a maturity about her that I don't always see in kids. Maybe she gets it from her dad & I. We always call ourselves "old souls." It probably comes from the way we grew up, but he and I both are more mature for our ages, always have been. We like things that older folks like...but that's a different post!

One of Joei's Sunday School teachers, actually 2 of them at different times, told me that Joei was up in the front of class leading worship today! Oh that just melted me. Joei is generally so reserved, so that surprised me to hear that. When I ask her about it, she gets all embarrassed; my guess is that I won't see that side of her until she is darn well ready for me too!

And Lily. What can I say?! She is 5 months old already and stinkin' cute as a bug. She rolls over to her belly, loves to grab her feet, has the most sincere smile of any baby you ever did see and of course, as a good Steelman, she loves to eat! Lily is a chunky monkey alright! She really is a great little baby and I'm so looking forward to watching her become a kid to. But not for awhile! Someone stay little, please!!

With all I am

2008-10-06T22:35:00.000-07:00

I love to worship the Lord; there is nothing I enjoy more than singing praise and worship to God. Rarely do I not cry during the worship part of service, my heart just gets so overwhelmed with the goodness of God, that I simply cannot help it. And I don't care that I can't help it! I have always had a heart for worship, ever since I can remember. I often have wished that the Lord would have me to lead worship one day. Few minor details though, I can't read music & I don't have a good voice. You kinda need those things in order for it to work! But I have known people that don't necessarily have good voices either however when God anoints a person for the task, it sounds beautiful. I would love to be able to lead people into the presence of God. (Oh my goodness that is a powerful statement to make, not one to take lightly.) But I would really love to. I started to learn how to play the keyboard about 8 years ago, but other things took over. Perhaps I can try that again...sigh. My heart desires to try, but it may just be me. And then again, it may not.

Anyway, just one more thing you might not know about me! Though I remember a time when I sang in youth choir; someone was SO off in my section. People were commenting on how poor the Alto section sounded, there was just one person not making the cut. Ya. It was me. Well, maybe I just gotta wait for Heaven!! In the meantime, listen to this song. It's so great!